There are ten things Sonny Munroe cannot stand about Chad Dylan Cooper.
A/N: I do not own Sonny with a Chance nor do I own Ten Things I Hate About You. Both very excellent!
Dedicated: To all my readers of Sonny with a Chance of Snow. I will update. It's been a crazy week!
Request: I wrote one of these for Life With Derek. It's one of my favorites considering I wrote it even before I saw the movie and found the quote offline.
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
Sonny was sitting at the cafeteria enjoying Meatball Monday while Chad Dylan Cooper sashayed in, in his usual annoying manner. Just looking at him made her lose her appetite – despite how much she loved Meatball Monday. Of course, Chad wouldn't let her have the satisfaction of an appetite. He marched over to her with his gelled hair and took a seat across from her.
"What?" Sonny asked, putting the sandwich back down on the black plastic plate.
"Nothing," Chad looked her over like he had a habit of doing. His eyes scanning each hair, each cell of her body. His eyes made her skin crawl and she uncomfortably looked away – hating it when he did that.
"Well then why are you here?" Sonny demanded, trying not to blush.
"Because," Chad scoffed, as if it was obvious, "We just got the new numbers in for this month. Guess which show beat out your pathetic little excuse of wasted air time."
Chad didn't even have to say it. Sonny knew that Mackenzie Falls had once again one, leaving So Random behind in the dust. She wanted to say something but was at a loss for a comeback – something unusual for her.
"Looks like Mackenzie Falls is the better show," Chad smirked, "I always knew it but face it, you guys kept poorly conviencing yourselves that someday you'd be as good as we are but sadly, for you, that is never going to happen. Mackenzie Falls is what the people want. Not some sad comedy show where people throw food at each other."
Sonny felt her face flame and she tried her best to say something in retort but Chad's constant putdowns were wearing away at her. She longed to come up with something good, something that would cause him to stop in his tracks. Instead, the only thing she could say was:
"Yeah well, I don't understand why because…because no one I know would want to sit in front of a TV and watch an egotistical jerk like you parade around with that…that…horrible haircut of yours!"
"Horrible…haircut?" Chad laughed, "That is the most pathetic comeback I have ever heard. You're going soft on me, Munroe," Chad smirked as he stood up from the table, grabbing her meatball sandwich on the way out.
Sonny crossed her arms angrily over her chest and watched him leave – with her sandwich. She hated Chad Dylan Cooper and his self-centeredness and the fact that her insults hardly fazed him any longer.
Little did she know that that night, Chad stayed up all night looking at his hair in the mirror, trying to figure out why she would say something so cruel.
I hate the way you drive my car.
"No, I am not letting you borrow my car."
"But I really need it."
"Just drive your Beamer."
"I can't. She's in the shop and I really have to...just please give me the keys. I promise, I am not like going to mess it up or anything. You've seen Beamy. I've kept her in perfect condition since I got her a few months ago. She's perfect. You can trust me with a car."
Sonny didn't know what to say. Sure, Chad's car was perfect but she was worried about her little yellow bug. She loved that car and wasn't sure she trusted Chad with it. Besides, he always said such terrible things about Buggy-Boo.
"But you hate my car," Sonny reminded him.
"Sure I hate it but I need some wheels. So what do you say, Munroe?"
Sonny shifted her weight from foot to foot, uncomfortably.
"Fine," she gave in, "You can take Buggy-Boo. But be nice to her!"
Chad smirked as she handed him the keys, "Don't you trust me, Munroe?"
"I am never trusting you again!" Sonny shouted as she inspected the damage.
"Hey, it's not like I wrecked it or anything…"
"There's McDoogal bags everywhere and a coke spilled on the upholstery. She's a mess, Chad!"
"Just move the fast-food bags and wipe up the coke. She's fine, Sonny."
Sonny didn't say anything. She shoved Chad out of her way angrily. She had trusted him with her prized car. She had saved so much money to buy that thing and he went and treated Buggy-Boo as if she was nothing.
Sonny was so busy hating Chad Dylan Cooper for the way he drove her car, that she didn't even think to thank him when she went out and saw that she had already been cleaned up, polished, washed, dried, and shinned.
I hate it when you stare.
"What?" Sonny asked as Chad stared at her from across the table. His eyes burned into her skin and she wanted to just hide from his gaze.
"Nothing," Chad shook his head, blushing a bit.
"Well then why were you staring?" Sonny asked.
"Yes you were!" Tawni pipped up, "Wasn't he, Grady?"
Grady, not really knowing how to respond, simply nodded.
"I wasn't staring at her. Can I just go, please?" Chad begged.
"No," Sonny smirked, "You stole our parking space back. Now, you must pay."
Chad tried to wiggle his arms free from the ropes that bound him to the chair.
"But this isn't funny you guys!"
"We think it is," Nico grinned, "Alright, Zora!"
Zora, the pintsized she-devil approached the table with a margarine pie in her hands and an evil smirk plastered on her face.
"This was going to be for a sketch today," she told Chad, "But we thought this would be so much better."
"I still can't believe you tricked me like this!" Chad said, angrily.
"Well, it's not our fault you fell for me asking you out," Sonny smiled sweetly as Zora grew closer and closer.
"What can I do to make you change your minds?" Chad asked, desperately.
"You can give us back our parking space," Tawni grinned.
"Fine!" Chad rolled his eyes, "Fine. It's all yours. Just please…let me go!"
His eyes looked pleadingly at Sonny. She almost felt sorry for him. She had been pretty evil-minded to trick him like this but then again, it was their parking space. She adverted her gaze from his and gave Zora the cue.
Before Chad knew what was coming, the margarine pie was splattered all over his face. He let out a gasp of shock, not believing what had just happened.
"You did not just do that," Chad cried.
"But we did," Tawni smiled, seething with fake remorse.
"Chad…" Sonny began, for some reason feeling horrible for what she had done.
"Don't talk to me," Chad glowered as Zora untied him.
Once his hands were free, Chad wiped the pie from his eyes. Sonny saw how horrifically painful they looked. His bright blue eyes, usually sparkling with a teasing glint glared at her and only her. If he didn't have such a soft spot for her, it would appear that he hated her. Sonny opened her mouth as if to say something but he caught her off.
"Don't," Chad glared at her as he stood up, glared at her as he began to walk away, and glared at her for the rest of the week.
With each painful, stare, Sonny felt the pangs of remorse. She wanted so badly to apologize to him but she couldn't find the words. She hated him more and more with each callous stare and hated him more and more for allowing herself to feel so hurt by his stare.
Finally, one day, a week later, all was somehow forgotten. Though they were friends (if that's what they could be called) again, Sonny vowed to herself never to see that side of Chad again. She made herself promise not to hurt him like that again. She hated that cold stare and never, ever, wanted to see it again.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
"Can you please get your feet off of my table," Sonny glowered at Chad.
"This isn't your table. It belongs to the set," Chad smirked, "And I can have my feet on it if I want to."
Sonny was sickened by this. She and Tawni ate around that coffee table. Tawni did her facials around that coffee table. The fact that Chad Dylan Cooper currently had his feet on her table was enough to make her want to throw him out of her dressing room, not that she ever really minded him being in there.
"Get out," Sonny pointed towards the door.
"You wouldn't kick me out," Chad smirked.
"Do you want to place a bet on that?" Sonny asked, "Get out!"
"You don't really want me to leave," Chad's smirk turned into a grin, "In fact, you want me to stay."
"I do not want you to stay!" Sonny protested, "Now, please leave!"
"Nope," Chad grinned, "You want me to stay because you want to know why I'm here. You want to know why I am not in my own dressing room. You want to know why am I here and what it is that I have to say to you."
"You don't have to say anything to me," Sonny was growing impatient and frustrated by the accuracy of his comments, "You just have to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere," Chad crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest.
"You are so insufferable!" Sonny threw her hands up in frustration.
"I'm just giving you what you want, sweet heart," Chad shrugged innocently.
Sonny wanted to smack him more than anything. She hated the way he read her mind and the way he was right about her. She hated the way he had just called her sweet heart, and she hated herself for sitting down next to him and asking him why he was there.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
"You make me sick," Sonny glared at Chad, "You can't actually like that ick-on-a-stick, can you?"
"You just rhymed," Chad smirked as he took a bite of whatever it was Sonny had christened "ick-on-a-stick."
"Not on purpose," Sonny objected.
"But you still did it. It was kind of cute," Chad smiled, "Do it again!"
"You know why I rhymed, subconsciously, but still?"
"I dunno?" Chad shrugged, "Because you want to be the next Dr. Seuss?" Chad guessed.
"No," Sonny shook her head at his pathetic attempt at a guess, "Because you make me so sick that it even makes me rhyme."
"You know, this stuck isn't as 'icky' as you say it is."
"I am sure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a new sketch to do. It is about this shoe-store owner who has lost his shoe!"
"You did it again."
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
"I hate you, Chad Dylan Cooper!" Sonny cried as she collapsed onto the floor and leaned her head against the wall. Chad didn't really know what to do so he sat down beside her.
"I thought we were becoming friends, Chad. At least, I hoped we were becoming friends. It's just…I don't know what to do. You can go from hot to cold in just a few seconds. I didn't mean to ruin your birthday party. I really didn't. I just was trying to apologize…"
"I am sorry I said that I never wanted to see you again," Chad leaned his head against the wall too, "I guess I was just angry at you. I was angry that you were the only one that said no and I was angry that you ruined my birthday party."
"I did want to go," Sonny said, looking up at his gaze, "If Lucy hadn't been here, I would have gone in a second."
"Yeah," Sonny answered honestly, "I am so sorry for everything."
"Me too," Chad put his arm around her shoulder, "We can still work on that friend thing, if you want to."
"Sure," Chad shrugged, "I mean, we were doing pretty well up until this party."
"The party still isn't over," Sonny reminded him.
"True. So what do you say, Munroe? Do you want to be re-invited to my party, as one of my friends this time?" Chad asked.
"Yes," Sonny smiled.
Chad stood up and offered her his hand.
"This doesn't mean I still don't hate you," Sonny smirked as he helped her up.
"Liar," Chad grinned.
"You're lying. You don't hate me. You could never hate me."
"Oh, and why is that?" Sonny challenged.
"Because, I am Chad Dylan Cooper. No one hates Chad Dylan Cooper. Even you, Munore."
He took her hand and they walked into his party together. Sonny couldn't help but enjoy the feel of her hand in his. She found herself figuring that she could get really used to it really fast. But she still hated Chad. She hated him for always being right about her. She hated him for knowing her so well. And she hated him for being such a gentlemen throughout the rest of the night.
I hate it when you lie.
"Sonny…wait!" Chad ran after her.
Sonny didn't stop, not after he called her name several times. She just kept running. All she wanted as him to leave her alone.
"Go away!" She called to him.
"I'm not going anywhere. I am sorry!" Chad shouted.
Sonny paused, allowing Chad to catch up to her. He was out of breath and his face was red. Sonny was rather impressed with herself for outrunning him.
"You aren't sorry. You lied to me!"
"I never lied to you!" Chad objected.
"You told me that we were friends. Then today, when you were talking to me, Portlyn pulled you aside and asked you why you were hanging around someone like me. She said that you were better than that. You told her that we weren't friends and that you were just trying out a few new insults on me."
"Sonny," Chad sighed, "I shouldn't have done that. I am so sorry."
"Why do you have to be such a jerk-face?" Sonny pouted.
"Why do you have to go and make me feel bad for things I never would have felt bad about before I met you?" Chad countered.
Neither had an answer.
"I-I have to go," Sonny excused herself.
"I am sorry," Chad called after her as she walked off.
Sonny couldn't help but know deep inside that his apology was true, but at the same time, she still hated him for lying. She hated him for brushing her aside around his friends. She hated him for trying too hard to be perfect around him.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
Chad always had the ability to make Sonny laugh. He could be the worst person in the world one moment, but the next, he would say something that would force her to smile, to laugh. She hated him for it. She hated him for making her feel better when all she wanted to do was feel miserable. She hated him for knowing exactly when she needed to be cheered up. She hated him for barging into her dressing room at ten at night to just talk because he "felt like something was up."
Chad Dylan Cooper could always make her laugh and she hated him for that. But she hated him even worse for making her cry. He had only done that once and he had never done it since but he had still caused her to cry.
"Why don't you go back to Wisconsin where you came from and we'd all be happier," is what he had said to her after a big fight. Sonny hadn't known what to say, nor had she known what to do. Instead, she just backed up, taking small steps towards her dressing room, her mouth falling slack at his words.
"Sonny…" Chad had began to regret what he had said but Sonny wasn't about to take any apologies anytime soon. Instead, she retreated to her dressing room and stayed there for the remainder of the day.
Chad had done everything in his power to make her talk to him. He had sent her flowers, he had sent her chocolate, he even gave her a five-minute speech through her door, begging her to at least just listen to him. But Sonny wouldn't listen to him. She was too busy lying on the couch, wiping a tear off her cheek.
She was just starting to feel like she belonged in Hollywood until he went and said that. Sonny didn't talk to him for the rest of the week until one day, they were passing each other in the hall and he stopped her.
"Sonny, listen to me."
"I don't have anything to say to you."
"Than just listen," Chad insisted, "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. I am an egotistical jerk-face, jerk-throb of a loser who didn't know what he was saying. I shouldn't have acted like that. I don't want you to go back to Wisconsin," Chad looked down at the floor, "I like you here…with me."
"Chad," Sonny objected.
"I just wanted to say that and now I won't say anything to you ever again. I will walk off and you'll never have to speak to me again. Just stay, Sonny."
"I wasn't going anywhere," Sonny told him, "At least, I hadn't planned to."
I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
"Why hasn't he called!" Sonny glared at her cow-print phone. She had been waiting for his call all day and hadn't received a single text message or a notification that he had gotten there safely. It was driving her crazy!
"Who?" Tawni asked as she flipped the TV on.
"Chad!" Sonny cried, "He hasn't called yet and he told me that he would call when the plane landed."
"I am sure he's fine. He's probably just busy."
"Too busy to call?" Sonny asked.
Tawni looked up at her, her brow creased in thought, "Why are you so worried?" She asked.
"I am not!" Sonny objected, "I just find it rude that someone would say that they were going to call and then they don't. I think that is very rude! Besides, what if something happened. You don't think the plane crashed or anything, do you?" Sonny asked, her eyes wide, "Or what if…"
Just then, her phone rang.
"Hello!" Sonny shouted a little too loudly into the speaker.
"Chad, where the heck have you been! I've been waiting for your call forever!"
"The plane was delayed. I just landed."
"You were worried about me, huh?" Chad asked and Sonny could practically see him smirking on the other end.
"Liar. I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow. "
"Have fun in New York. Be safe!"
"I knew you were worried," Chad smiled into the phone before turning it off. Sonny tossed her phone onto the table. She hated the way he didn't call and the fact that he would be in New York for the rest of the week, missing her birthday on Tuesday. She hated the fact that she had allowed herself to worry so much about him and she hated that he was, once again, right about her.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
"Do you hate me?" Chad asked, looking at her sheepishly through his feathered bangs.
"No," Sonny admitted.
"I am sorry I couldn't come sooner. I got the earliest plane back that I could."
"Thank you," Sonny smiled at him, appreciating that he had come home for her birthday.
"I got you this," Chad handed her a giftbag, "Open it."
Sonny pulled out the tissue paper and unwrapped a t-shirt that said "My Best Friend Went To NY And All I Got Was This Dumb T-Shirt."
"Thanks," Sonny laughed.
"That's not all," Chad nodded towards the shirt, "Unwrap it."
Sonny did as she was told and found that folded up in the shirt was a necklace with purple stones that caught every color of the light. Sonny's eyes widened in shock.
"That's for you too."
"Chad…you shouldn't have."
"Well if you don't want it," Chad reached for the necklace which Sonny snatched away.
"But I am glad you did! It's beautiful!"
"I wanted to do something special for you Sonny. You deserve something special."
Chad turned her around so that he could fasten it around her neck.
"So you don't hate me for being late to your party?" Chad asked.
"No," Sonny smiled, "I could never hate you, Chad."
They walked into the bowling alley hand in hand. Sonny loved her necklace. She loved the fact that Chad had flown in just for this one night. She loved the fact that he had gone through so much trouble for her. She loved everything about Chad Dylan Cooper, even if she hated him at times.
Sonny decided to add an eleventh thing to the list.
I hate the way you make me love you, and the fact that I would do anything for you. But most of all I hate the that I am so crazily in love with you, despite everything telling me no.