Title: Unavoidable Debriefing
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Warnings: Crossover. This is Batman/Joker seen through the eyes of others.
Rating: Uh...PG or PG-13
Summary: NCIS/TDK Abby has a chance meeting in Gotham. This is the aftermath. :)
Pairing: very light Batman/Joker
Word Count: 1,179
Author's Note: To get this in before the due date, I rushed a bit, so there will be a few errors. Just let me know if you see one. I'd be absolutely grateful for the help.
Although they were supposed to be having a meeting about identity thieves targeting Navy and Marine Officers, two Naval Criminal Investigative Service Special Agents and a Mossad Liaison Officer sat in a campfire circle around their Goth clad, pigtailed forensic scientist, listening to her latest adventure.
"It was so cool. Batman had all these awesome ninja moves. These two would even give Ziva a run for her money," the scientist explained, using her fingers to animate the event.
"Why would Batman want my money?" Ziva asked, confused, and looked to her two co-workers for an explanation.
"It's a saying," the younger of the two special agents explained.
"Abby means," the other agent said, grinning, "she thinks Batman and The Joker are better fighters."
Ziva looked at Abby in shock, "Abby!"
"Well, they were," Abby said, "I'm sorry, but I have to be honest."
"So do you think Batman is someone from the military?" the younger agent asked.
"No, McGee," Abby replied, her voice becoming soft and reverent, "I had never seen anything like it. I can't even begin to explain it. He was just so…dark. And the Joker…it was like watching the sun and the moon battle on Mortal Kombat."
"Wow," McGee said.
"What did you guys do?" the other agent asked, "I'd think that some of the convention-goers would carry their pieces, even if you guys were only the scientists."
"I'm going to ignore that last part, Tony. Some people did draw their weapons, but there were just too many people there to use them, and by the time enough people had cleared out, Batman and The Joker were gone. While they were there though, I was totally mesmerized. They just fought so well. It was like better than sex," she said.
"Maybe that was their way of having sex…" Thwack, "Oh, Hi Boss." Tony had turned to see his boss, Special Agent and Agent in Charge Leroy Jethro Gibbs, towering over him and his three co-workers.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs said gruffly, "Ziva, McGee, what's going on? Why aren't you working on the Navarro case?"
"Abby was just telling us about meeting Batman and The Joker while she was at that forensics seminar in Gotham," Tony said, rubbing the back of his head.
"And this has what to do with the Navarro case?" Gibbs said, his voice beginning to rise.
"Well, Boss," McGee piped up, "Tony and Ziva have already interviewed our current list of victims, written up extensive six months histories on each of them, determined places they may have come into contact with Navarro, and went through Navarro's files for possible suspect leads.
"I also interviewed the slimy bastard," Tony grimaced, "I'm not surprised he's an identity thief. It was either that or selling drugs in an darkened alley. He's not saying a word on the ringleader's identification."
"Anyway," McGee continued, "Abby and I are combing through those hand scanners for other possible victims. I also think the information in their files that may help us find more suspects, but on the physical cards themselves, Abby has unfortunately found no actual fingerprints."
Gibbs gave them each a look. He had a world class poker face, so it was incredibly difficult to tell whether he was proud or angry, "Okay, then why are you all here talking about Abby's trip to Gotham instead of finding me my ringleader?"
"Because it's exciting," Ziva replied.
Abby, Tony, and McGee each gaped at her, completely shocked. Normally, nothing excited the brunette Israeli; sure, she had her moments of amusement…but excitement?
Tony recovered first.
"Yeah, I can't believe you held it together, Abbs," Tony said, smiling, "I'm pretty sure I would have wet my pants if The Joker held a knife on me."
Abby winced. She hadn't told Gibbs that.
"And it's not everyday you are saved by the elusive Batman," Ziva added.
"Is this true, Abby?" Gibbs said, his voice deceptively calm, face expressionless.
"Uh…" Abby said. At that moment, the others figured out she hadn't told Gibbs the whole story and scattered to their respective seats. Gibbs ignored them. Abby got up from her seat and turned to face the stairs. Maybe if she hurried, she could make it to her lab.
"I'll follow up scanning those scanners now."
"No, you're going to sit down and stay right here, " Gibbs said, gruffness and anger laced his voice.
Abby sat back down. Uh-oh. Normally, Gibbs and her father/daughter relationship was quite awesome, but he did tend to get a bit overprotective.
"Abby, I need to know if you're a hostage between two killers."
Okay, so maybe he had good reason.
Abby's nose wrinkled, and she said distastefully, "Batman's not a killer, Gibbs. McGee and I went over the timeline, and unless he happens to be two or more people, there's no way he could have rescued all those hostages from Gotham City General's hospital and kill five people at the same time."
"Abby," Gibbs said, irritably, "I don't care about those other people. I care about my forensic scientist." Gibbs bent down, face to face with the seated young woman, placed his hands on her shoulders, and said much softer, "Abby, I care about you."
"Aw, Gibbs," Abby said, "that's so sweet. You don't have to worry about me though. I was only hostage like for a minute. Really, I was more of a makeshift hurdle between Batman and The Joker; and I totally wasn't the only one at that. They only stayed in our room for like five minutes and then crashed and fought through a big window…they were lucky we were on the first floor."
"And afterwards, everyone had fun examining the evidence," Abby rambled on, "It was kind of sad though, because nobody found anything useful. In fact, I guess these incidents happen so often that the police don't even sweep for evidence anymore. They even let me keep one of Batman's Batarangs, which are these really tiny, sharp bats. Batman threw at the Joker's lackeys...Hee! I get to use the term "lackeys"… Anyway, I think they look more like throwing stars, but the Gotham police call them Batarangs. I guess they've seen Batman use them like boomerangs before. I'm not exactly sure, because that Detective Bullock was absolutely no hel…"
"ABBY," Gibbs yelled.
"Oh," she squeaked, "sorry."
"No more trips to Gotham," Gibbs ordered.
"But Gibbs…" Abby started.
"No buts, Abbs," Gibbs said, "Unless you're with me, you are not to step foot in that city."
"Fine," she said.
"And now, you and I are going for a debriefing in the conference room," Gibbs said, "and don't leave out any details this time.
"Fine," Abby said, "Can I just say one more thing to Tony?"
After a silent second of contemplating, Gibbs replied, "one thing."
"Yay," Abby joyfully whispered, bumping her fists together.
Having listened to the entire conversation (and only pretending to work), Tony looked up from his computer, "yes, Abbs?"
"I totally agree with you about that being Batman and Joker's version of sex," Abby said, "it was definitely hot."
Gibbs sighed. He was never going to let that girl step foot in Gotham ever again.