Closet Hentai

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, and I make no profit on these fictions.

A/N: Just a little scene that slipped into my mind, and I'm not even sure what I'm gonna do with it, I might use it in one of my longer stories, but I might leave it this way. Oh well, anyway here it is, for what it's worth.

SLAP!!!!!

"Keep your hands to yourself, you damn pervert!"

Inuyasha shook his head, looking at Miroku with amused curiosity. Maybe it's time I put him out of his misery.

"Oi, monk. Why do you keep insisting on doing something that you know is gonna cause you horrendous pain?"

Miroku smiled happily, despite the pain throbbing through his head. "Well, Inuyasha, all I can say is this: at least I have had my hands on my lovely Sango's body. Can you say the same for the Lady Kagome, hmm?"

Inuyasha glanced over his shoulder at the two women walking ahead. They had kept moving after Sango laid Miroku out, and so had drawn quite a ways ahead. Turning back to Miroku, he spoke quietly.

"Listen stupid, where do you think my hands are when I'm carrying her on my back? Huh? What body parts are mashed up against mine when I'm holding her after 'saving her life' again? And why do you think I like to walk behind her so often? Come on, monk, think about it."

Miroku's eyes widened as he realized what Inuyasha was saying. "Why, my dear Inuyasha! I would never have guessed that you harbored those kinds of thoughts!" He snickered as he thought about it.

Inuyasha smirked. "I'm not as stupid as everyone seems to think, monk. I know perfectly well what the differences between men and women are, and I'm just as interested in those differences, and what you can do with them, as the next man. I'm just better at getting what I want than you are....as evidenced by the fact that not once have I ever been smacked for being a hentai," he finished, with a cocky smile.

"So then, you have been groping the Lady Kagome, and fantasizing about her. I bet you've even watched her bathe, and she doesn't even have a clue!" Miroku stood, bowing deeply to the grinning hanyou. "My friend, I would be most honored if you would teach me your stealthy ways."

"I'll think about it, monk, if only so we stop having to haul your ass outta the dirt all the time."

Miroku bowed again. "I will pray that you grant me your wisdom, oh master hentai." Straightening, he frowned. "You DO love the Lady Kagome, do you not? I would hate to think she was just a random flirtation for you. She deserves better than that, my friend."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Kagome's no more a random flirtation for me, than Sango is for you, monk, don't worry about that. Once Naraku is outta the way, I'll be taking Kagome as mine, permanently." His grin widened as his eyes went far away for a moment. "I'd do it now, but I don't want any interruptions....and Naraku is nothing but one big interruption. Until then, well, I'll just keep getting my hands wherever I can without her noticing." He glanced over his shoulder again. "Let's go, monk, enough standing around."

Miroku watched as Inuyasha moved away, apparently deciding that the women had gotten far enough ahead, and hurried to catch up with his friend, still suffering from a bit of shock.

Who'd have ever guessed that the oh-so-apparently innocent hanyou was really a closet hentai?