Disclaimer: the characters are not mine, alas... Thanks sir Terry for lending them to crazy fic authors...

And thanks a lot to Charli800 for beta reading these drabbles!


1. He smiles

Moist was firmly decided to resist. He stared at Vetinari's back with strong determination. This time, he would answer "no". Besides...

"No, forgive me, but I won't do it. Your Lordship."

The Patrician, his back stiff, was looking over the city from the windows.

"Hm hm, really?"

He sighted, nodded and turned back.

Moist tensed up and began,

"I'm sure someone else could..."

"No. You will do it."

And Moist saw the badge. Vetinari raised an eyebrow and pointed to the small metal piece. Then he explained coolly,

"It says 'Tyrant', you know."

And he smiled kindly.


2. He doesn't smile

His Lordship seemed quite tense. He snapped,

"Remind me why on Disc I'm doing that."

Drumknott succeeded in not smiling.

"Because Lady Vimes was here with her son when someone screamed about a dragon in the kitchens. Because..."

"Thank you, Drumknott. That was a rhetorical question."


"Sir Samuel! Put down the inkpot !"

Drumknott considered the baby sitting on the Patrician's knees. Now waving inky hands. Lord Vetinari stared at the Calamity, brow creased.

"Listen, little Vimes, I'm a tyrant. Obey!"

"Kizzz, 'ncle Hav'lock!"

Black ink. White collar. Drumknott couldn't help murmuring:

"Such an affectionate kid..."