Edward was decamped, the discomfort was abhorrent! I wept and I wept little tears of tear liquid from my eyeballs. My husband had marooned me for two hours! Those tears trickled down my face and leaked into my gaping mouth that hung wide like a trout preparing to ingest a lone mayfly on the surface of a lake s water. That salty taste reached my tongue and I was filled with warmth and adoration. I was instantly reminded of Edward s jizzum that I had just consumed previously. Suddenly, A spark of hope flickered through my brain; I could feel a nice lump of phlegm had gathered in the back of my throat forming a sticky safety net for anything precious which may dive down my mouth hole! I still had some precious pre-Renesmoo clogging my windpipe to remember him by!
I must feel it! I need to hold my husband s man-milk!
Poking gently with my finger, I attempted to cough up this phlegm. It gurgled and stuck to the interior of my throat, spreading thinly and coating the pink slimy surfaces in a thick layer of man-goo, toast crumbs, traces of butter and regular phlegm. This was going to be tougher than I thought. Sucking in as much air as I could, I heaved as strongly as I could, trying to power my throat muscles into bringing up this slippery treasure. The tears that were still slithering down my throat softened the phlegm making my task easier. I gagged, my eyeballs bulging in their sockets as I inserted a finger down my throat as if I were inserting it into Edward s anus. It explored my slime covered interior flesh, scooping the lining of my throat for any precious Edward deposit that I could reach. Sadly, my fingers were not quite right for the task.
I ran into the kitchen, snotty mucus began trickling down my throat and mingling with the already gathered phlegm. Some of it was bouncing off my lower lip and and slopping onto the floor with a delightful squelch. It was like the great snottites of Mexico s Cueva de Villa Lulz, colonies of bacteria with that gluey and slimy consistency were forming from my nostrils like a cave s stalactites. In the cutlery draw I grabbed a teaspoon. It was a haut couture teaspoon that I had received as a wedding gift from Alice. It was black with small geometric shapes cut out of the handle. It slipped into my mouth almost as smoothly as Edward s sex-pupa. I wretched, heaving onto the floor as that little fashionable spoon shoveled out the contents of my windpipe. Soon my kitchen floor was covered in beige toasty phlegm with traces of glitter mixed in. I ran my fingers through it with glee and laughed hysterical tears of joy!
In situ on the kitchen floor I gingerly frolicked with my Edward s lucky panties that I had pulled out from the laundry basket. Have you In situ on the kitchen floor I gingerly frolicked with my Edward s lucky panties that I had pulled out from the laundry basket. Have you ever seen a fine pair of herculean buttocks hanging out from a baby pink thong that has tease written on the front in swirly purple font? Imagine it seriously, imagine it. Imagine him grinding those fine alabaster butt cheeks into your nose. He might flick that tight little asshole upwards a few times; you can see some dark red hairs creeping out from beneath the thong strap like trapped spiders flailing their legs in a futile attempt to escape. Picture his balls slapping gently onto your chin as he flicks those tight buttocks. They re fuzzy and scratch a bit with an ecstatic itching.
Tenderly stroking the skidmark that had been left on his thong strap after a bad bout of diarrhea (and licking it a little) I just realized that I could not go on without him any longer! That was it! I must venture to the supermarket and show Edward my love by killing myself and stopping this pain I feel every time we are torn apart by the cruel twists of life! I cursed the empty milk bottle for snatching my darling husband from my warm embrace into the cold and unwelcoming depths of Aldi! Groping my phone I called Jacob to come and watch Renessmoo unattended in my house with her wearing a rather sexy looking baby vest I might add, it showed off her feminine curves delightfuly! Squee! I wept tears of tearjuice once more as I ventured outside.
An old man asked me if I was ok upon seeing my distress. I spat at him, then kicked him in the nuttsack. Dirty regular humans have no right to talk to me and it was quite obvious that he was going to follow me around like an adoring puppydog giving me all that unwanted attention. I hoped he wasn't going to try and ask me out to his retirement home's prom either. Nobody could steal me from my Edward. With the taste of his sparkling Eddy-juice still lingering on my lips...I left the old man curled up on the floor prepared to prove my love!