Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I do have ownership rights to this... er... special story.

A/N: Possibly one of the weirdest ideas I have ever had for a fanfic, but hey, it makes for an entertaining plot! :-P Reviews greatly appreciated. This is going to be a multiple-part short story.

Summary: What started out a harmless game suddenly became an incredibly awkward situation... The four Inner Senshi are dared by Haruka to spend one night staked out in Mamoru's closet without being caught. Never ones to be labelled 'chicken', the girls follow through... and get the surprise of their lives when Usagi shows up mere minutes later! Unfortunately for them, she's in a particularly lusty mood... And so is their dashing chevalier. Now truly stuck in Mamoru's bedroom of all places, the Inners are forced to play audience to their Prince and Princess doing the deed... with mixed reactions from all. Humorous, romantic, and slightly dirty! :-P Enjoy!

Warning: Adult content! Swearing! Younger readers beware! Rated M.

One Dark and Perverted Night

Part 1: "Feet Lickers and Constipated Brunettes"


"Truth or dare, Haruka-san?"

Aforementioned sandy-head cocked a brow, appraising her challenger with a coy smirk in place. "Dare."

Ami let out a whooshing breath, but her countenance didn't relax one bit. "Man, now I'm forced to think up a dare. And I had a good truth all ready to go!"

"Wow, doesn't anyone ever want a truth?" Makoto queried, gazing around the table at everyone in askance. So far, of the six Senshi present, not one of them had picked "Truth". Either everyone had a terrible secret to hide, or-

"Nah, truths are boring, Mako-chan," Minako replied, arms crossed and lips pursed. Apparently, she was trying to pass off an air of wisdom as she answered... while failing miserably. Rei snickered at the blonde as she stood up to slide her bedroom door closed. Twilight had snuck up on the shrine's grounds, accompanied by a chilly zephyr.

"Boy," the obsidian-eyed priestess said as she gazed a fond farewell to the waxing moon, "I wish Usagi could be with us tonight. It'd be so much fun making her do stuff!"

"Yeah. Can you believe she skived off for studying of all things? I mean, I know the girl's grown up quite a bit since turning eighteen, but... studying? It's like I'm expecting a world catastrophe to occur any moment!" Makoto commented with a laugh. She shook her brown ponytail in disbelief, then sighed. "I suppose it's to be expected, though. We are drawing closer and closer to the time of Crystal Tokyo. Something was going to give."

"Yes. I don't imagine she was meant to act that way as a Queen," Michiru concurred. The virago chuckled. "Anyways, we're digressing. Ami-san? I'm dying to watch whatever torment you have in store for Haruka..."

"Oh! Yeah! Errrr... Haruka-san, I dare you to, ah, um... I dare you to... lick the table!"

Haruka grinned as everyone sweatdropped, hands coming up as one to smack themselves in the face.

"Ami-chaaaaan!"

"What?" the pedantic asked innocently, looking around at them all in shock.

"Ami-chan, a dare's supposed to be... hard! Something the person wouldn't want to do! Jeez, even I'd lick a table," Rei groaned. "Haruka-san, take pity on her. She's a first time player."

"No, no," Haruka countered nonchalantly, waving her hand. "It's alright, Rei-chan, I'll lick the table..."

"Haruka..." Michiru growled, the lone individual "man" enough to reprimand the Wind Senshi and get away with it. "That's not very fair to all of us who endured far worse fates. Think of me, calling up my work and barking, all the while proclaiming how drunk I was?"

"And me, streaking past Yuiichiro's room while screaming his name," Rei added, cheeks flaring crimson as she recalled her embarrassment... and Yuiichiro's whistling as she fled back to sanctuary.

"So you see, it's not very fair-"

Haruka cut off Michiru irritatedly. "Fine. Fine. Ami-san, give me another. I'm a slave to your whims."

Ami smiled balefully, a glint of humor and pure evil lurking behind her features. "Okay. Haruka-san, I dare you to lick both of Rei-chan's feet. Once with her socks on, and once off."

Stunned silence reigned for a moment as everyone stared at Ami, wondering where their real friend had gone and who was inhabiting her body. Then Rei choked, "Erm, I changed my mind. Haruka-san can stick with her table."

"Ah, ah, ah," Minako laughed. "This is her new dare and she has to follow through! Don't complain, Rei-chan; just think- if you believe you've got it bad, then it's ten times worse for Haruka-san!"

Said woman was looking a little green, and she glared at Michiru. The aqua-head was currently stifling giggles with a hand pressed over her mouth. She pulled it away for but a second, coaxing,

"Well? Any time now, Haruka."

Haruka groaned. "Rei-san? Kindly pass me your foot, and let's get this over with."

Makoto collapsed into mirth with Minako, watching the tortured exchange take place. The brunette whispered to Minako, "I bet Haruka-san's wishing it was a kiss instead."

"Ew, gross!" Minako howled, gaining the attention of everyone else. "Ahhhhh, Mako-chan's... constipated."

Makoto slapped the ditzy girl upside the head. "Thanks, bitch! She's just full of crap, guys. I'm not (the brawny one cringed) constipated."

"Suuuuuuure," the other four crowed.

"Fuck you, Minako-chan," Makoto grumbled, sinking past the table's edge. "Just you wait until it's my turn to dare you..."


A/N: Mwhahahaha, devilish fun! I think there might be two or three chapters left; unsure as to how far I'll drag out the plot...

Review! The more who do, the faster I'll attempt to update!

AngelMoon Girl