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Kate Todd was a great agent. Kate was dead. She always seemed to like him even if he was a bit of a geek. Kate was dead. She didn't tease him as much as Tony did and even defended him a few times. Kate was dead. She had taught him a lot about working at NCIS and how to deal with Tony's sophmoric personality and Gibbs' grumpiness towards everything. Kate was dead, and it was his fault.
He felt Tony's glaring eyes on him from across the room. It was raining outside, it was like the sky was openly sobbing for their loss. He and Tony were waiting on Gibbs to return to the bullpen so they could get some direction from their boss on who they were supposed to be looking for.
"What DiNozzo?" McGee asked softly, knowing he was opening a can of worms but he didn't care very much at the moment.
"Kate shouldn't be dead, it isn't right," Tony said, his voice tense.
McGee said nothing, just continued to stare out into the rain. "You know you really are lucky Probie, if you hadn't moved when you did it would have been you."
The younger man turned around to look at his senior agent. He knew that Tony was right, if he hadn't moved at that exact second he would have died. He would have died and Kate would have been spared.
"You're right," McGee said, anger at himself bubbling up inside of him. "You're right Tony, Don't you think I wish I could take back moving out of the way? It's my fault she's dead." McGee said bitterly. "And I know you wish it had been me, that I had died and that she had lived."
Tony stared at the young man in shock, he hadn't expected the younger man's outburst and for once he didn't know what to say. McGee was torn between crying and punching something, why hadn't it been him? He had only been at the NCIS in DC for a short amount of time, no one he worked with would miss him.
Tony got up from his desk and crossed the room quickly, McGee was shocked when the older man Gibbs-slapped him. "Don't you ever say I wish you were dead again McGee, you got me," Tony said sternly.
All McGee could do was nod tersely. There was a long drawn out moment of silence between the two men before Tony spoke again. "It wasn't your fault, you don't know what would have happened if he had shot you, he might have killed Kate anyway."
"I'm sorry," McGee said as he looked down at his shoes, he felt very ashamed of himself for lashing out at Tony the way he had.
"You got nothing to be sorry for kid, now lets get to work so we can catch this son of a bitch," Tony said determindly. McGee grinned sadly before nodding and the two moved back to their desks.