Howdy. From the author of "101 Uses for Reno's EMR" (who does not own phrases from Friends, lyrics from 'Listen to your heart' or 'Lovestoned', or Final Fantasy and anything in relation to it) comes the useful pick-up lines used by the one and only, almighty Reno of the Turks. This came from an author that gave up the idea and wanted me to write it instead-'loladventchildlol' May you find peace in these phrases of knowledge. A caution, however. A large proportion of these wise words can lead to black eyes, red cheeks, and several other forms of punishment.

You have been warned.


"Since when were you hot?"

"Hey, I saw you giving me the dirty look back there. Are you gay or am I just ugly?"

"Do you prefer the smart type or the dumb type? 'Cause I'm both."

"Can I treat you to a drink? Or two?"

"How you doin'?"

"So pretty...I wasn't talkin' to you, bitch."

"I remember you! You're that chick from the Funhouse! Oops, I think I said that a little loud."

"Your friend's hot. I mean, you're not-I mean, hot. Heh."

"How am I so rich, you ask? Well I'm President Shinra's son. See the resemblance?"

"Wow -insert name here-, that plastic surgery really paid off!"

"Don't feel bad for being stuck in a dump like this. I'm in the same boat. Love boat."

"C-Can you see my walking stick? I can't-Aaah!!! Stand up without it...Give me your hand-no, your leg will do."

"My friend needs some advice. He found this girl, and he doesn't know what to say to her. Can you help him?"

"Wow, you've got mountains growing there! Oh wait, they're just plain old boobs."

"Hey baby."

"Konnichiwa. Bonjour? Ni hao? Hola? Shalom? Hello? Shut up and kiss? I can do that!"

"Are you drooling on me?"

"Howdy. I'm a comedian."

"Love me, squeeze me, never leave me. I've lost a lot. Of brain cells."

"...Is that...Botox...?"

"I aint no horsie, honey. Get the f*** off my hair."

"I love you, you love me, I think we were meant to be..." (only when very drunk)

"Listen to your heart...When he's calling for you...I like karaoke...I wanna know if you do too..."

"I was...popular in school."

"...This song! It was my girlfriend's favourite! Uh...ex-girlfriend, did I mention."

"I like men. If that sorta thing..."

"Me? In Shinra!? Ha! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Oh, this old ID card thingy? Well, I dreamt of becoming a Turk. Once. Uh, you can have it as a souvenir."

"I'm the reason your eyeshadow's green, baby."

"Ooh. I think I'm lovestoned."

"That guy over there, who says he's bringin' sexy back, he sucks. 'Cause sexy never left me."