Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

Peanut Butter
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

Yomi had come up to the roof in order to get a bit of peace that lunchtime, but fate seemed determined not to let her get any rest: Tomo had, as usual, followed her up there.

Yomi started her lunch, trying to drown out Tomo's incessant rambling – then Tomo said something so stupid that Yomi couldn't physically ignore it.

"Why do they call peanut butter 'peanut butter'?" Tomo asked.

Yomi looked up at her and shook her head. "Because that's what it's called."

"Yeah, but it's false advertising."

"What are you on about?"

"Well it's not actually got any butter in it, so why peanut butter? I mean it's more of a spread, so why don't they just call it peanut butter spread?"

"Tomo, that doesn't make any sense; your new name still has the word 'butter' in it" Yomi groaned.

Tomo, however, wasn't listening. "And it hasn't got any peas in it either, has it? Just nuts. So why don't they just call it 'nut spread' or something? Hey, Yomi, would peanut butter go green if you put peas in it?"

"I don't see why you care."

Tomo's train of thought then became even weirder: something Yomi hadn't thought possible.

"Wouldn't it be cool if your blood was peanut butter?" she asked.

"If that happened you'd be dead…"

"Yeah, but you'd never run out of peanut butter again. You could just cut yourself and bingo, there's some peanut butter for you to eat."

"What exactly brought this on anyway?" Yomi asked. "Have you got peanut butter sandwiches or something."

"No. Cheese" was Tomo's reply. "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if the world was made of cheese?"

Yomi shook her head and walked off. She was going to the library; that was the only place in the school where she could guarantee that Tomo wouldn't follow her