Ok so this a new one and I probably won't be updating as often as usual mostly because the sun is finally hitting the U.K and the beer garden keeps calling.I hope you like the concept and enjoy but if you don't let me know and I won't carry on. Always review otherwise I won't know what you like and don't like....anyway ENJOY!!!

Spencer had spent the last few hours sat at her computer staring aimlessly at the screen hoping that a small amount of inspiration would come her way. She had been trying to write this article for the past 3 weeks but she just couldn't get on with it which was one of the biggest issues she had when working from home. Spencer Carlin was easily distracted by anything that could tear her away from doing what she was supposed to be doing which at the moment was the article for LA magazine. As the clock slowly dragged by she noticed that it was only a few minutes until her girlfriend got home work so this gave her another excuse to turn her laptop off and step away from work.

Spencer had just started cooking the perfect vegan meal for Carmen as she walked in the door. Spencer straigtened her long blonde hair and bounced into the other room to greet her girlfriend.

"Hey Baby...god I've missed you today" Spencer exclaimed as she walked up to Carmen to meet her but Carmen automatically backed away and started playing with her long dark hair which is something she tends to do when she was nervous. Spencer knew the habit so well because she had sat thee and calmed her as Carmen was announced best new comer at the Emmy's, or there was the time that she had auditioned for her first major role and Carmen had practically created a bald patch on the top of her head from playing with her hair.

"You ok?" Spencer as Carmen said there saying nothing.

"We need to talk Spence" Carmen finally admitted as she took a seat signalling for Spencer to follow which she didn't.

"I'm ok standing thank you"

"This isn't working" Carmen said without making any eye contact with Spencer.

"What isn't?" Spencer asked dumbly as she tried to ignore every answer to the question she could possibly imagine.

"You and Me...this...us....just everything"

"When did this happen?"

"I've been thinking it for a while now Spence...you can't be shocked by this can you?"

"Carmen does this look like the face of somebody who was expecting this?" Spencer as she paced the apartment racking her brain for why this could be happening.

"We've been drifting apart for ages and I feel more like a friend than a girlfriend"

"Well what can I do to change this?"

"Nothing Spence"

"But we're in love and we're meant to be together" Spencer suddenly realised that she was crying and she wasn't going to fight because she wanted Carmen to see how much this was hurting her.

"Just because we were each others firsts it doesn't mean that it was going to work"

"We have been through so much and I have stood by you even though you never came out because of work"

"You know that I can never come out publically Spencer..it would ruin my career"

"So what are you straight now?"

"No I'm not straight"

"Have you met another girl?"

"No I haven't met anybody else..this is to do with anyone but you and me"

Spencer didn't know what to do or what to say. Carmen was her life, they had been together for 4 years since they met at college in freshman year. They had built a life together, yes it was a secret life but Spencer was happy with that because she had Carmen.

"So that's it then?4 years down the drain...no reason...no excuses...it's just the end?Carmen I love with everything I have and I know you feel the same way baby, I know you do. Just stay tonight and we can make this work" Spencer was begging and she knew this but she wasn't letting Carmen go at least not without trying but as she looked into the love of lifes eyes she knew that there was nothing she could do or say because the eyes that looked back at her were not the eyes that she fell in love with 4 years ago. Carmen kissed Spencer on the cheek as she walked passed her to leave the apartment.

"Bye Spence"

Spencer didn't move for about an hour after Carmen left. She just sat scrunched up on the floor crying and looking at the photo album that was left under the coffee table. She carelessly flciked though the pages looking at the photos that reminded her how happy they were which just made her heart break over and over.

Spencer spent the next 3 days locked in her apartment ignoring calls and drinking copius amounts of alcohol while looking at more old pictures and we watching old episodes of Carmen's television show. Spencer's answering machine was full and she knew she couldn't keep ignoring peoples calls so she finally answered the phone.


"Chelsea?" Spencer questioned as she held back the sobs.

"Spencer what's wrong?"

"It's Carmen....she's gone...she broke up with me" Spencer let out all her pain and just cried.

"I'll be there straight away honey" Chelsea promised as she hung up the phone leaving Spencer to drown further into her own tears. Spencer managed to drag herself up off the floor to get the bottle of wine she had purchased for dinner the other day which was the last ounce of booze in the apartment, she had been saving it hoping that Carmen would come back. There as no need for a glass as Spencer just started drinking out the bottle. By the time Chelsea had made it over Spencer had finished off the nice bottle of wine and was now looking for anything a with an alcoholic percentage hoping that she will get so drunk the pain will go away.

"Spencer step away from the snapps...you will regret it in the morning" Chelsea snapped from the kitchen door as she saw her friend reaching for the peach flavoured beverage.

"I won't...I will still be drunk in the morning" Spencer slurred as Chelsea snatched the bottle from her.

"What the hell hapened?"

"She just said that we had been drifting apart and she couldn't so it anymore" Spencer explained as she sipped the coffee Chelsea was making her drink.

"I hate to ask but is there somebody else?"

"She said no but I don't believe her"

"You've never been suspicious before Spence"

"I know but you don't just stop loving somebody Chels..that doesn't happen"

"I hate to say it but it does Spence...people grow apart"

"Not me and Carmen...we're meant to be together"

"Spencer she has kept you and her sexuality a secret for 4 years, she makes you pretend that you are her PA if you go to events while she prancies around with some dumb male model or actor. You're not to blame for what has happened but you need to accept that it has happened"

"I clearly am to blame otherwise she would still be here"

"Well she's not and I am not going to stand by and watch you piss away your life because of Carmen. You fell in love and it ended...get over it"

"That was really harsh Chels"

"I'm your friend Spencer and I love you so I'm not going to let you drown in snapps and self pity so take over these skanky sweats and please have a shower"

"There's no point"

"Yes there is because even though you've been on the missing list for 3 days we still have somewhere to be tomorrow morning"

"I have nowhere to be Chelsea and these sweats are comfy"

Chelsea didn't reply instead she walked over to Spencer's calender and passed it to her to look at.

"Shit...Glen and Maddy's wedding. Can't I take a rain check?"

"No because it's your brother's wedding and most importantly we have already spent shit loads of money on the trip to Hawaii and I am not leaving you behind"

"I can't deal with it...Carmen was supposed to be there"

"Spence you hadn't even told her about the wedding because she had been away on location for 6 weeks. Hence why it actually tells you to tell her on the calender"

"God I was such a crap girlfriend!!"

"Seriously I will punch you if you don't stop being so pathetic. Go have a shower, I'll pack for you and I we will even pick you up on the way to airport in the morning"

"I'll be surrounded by hundreds of happy couples"

"Spence it will do you good. Think of all the chances you'll have to get over Carmen and you won't be reminded of her for a whole 2 weeks..come on..for me?" Chelsea was now begging.

"Ok for you....and maybe for some of the chances I'll have getting over Carmen"

"There's the Spencer Carlin I know and love"

Spencer gave Chelsea a hug and then she skipped over to the bathroom to attempt to wash any Carmen off her so she could attempt or at least pretend to get over her.