Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Twilight series. I gain no money from this, just the enjoyment of sharing this story with you.
Don't worry. I am still continuing to write 'Seventeen Again'. Check it out if you haven't already.
This chapter is on the short side. I just thought of it last night and want to make sure that people like the idea before going further with it. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks! ^_^
Chapter 1 – Acceptance
Finally, the tears just stopped falling. The pain was still there, but I couldn't express it anymore. When the man who owns your heart and soul rejects you, there is no greater pain. No greater loss or suffering. You just have to learn to push it down and lock it away. That is where I put the pain two months after Edward left. Even saying his name made my insides scream. I never said it out loud anymore. That would be too much for me take.
Part of me knew why he left, knew that he really did still love me. But loss like that causes the irrational side to rule. The irrational side told me that the whole time I was with him was a dream. No one like him would ever love him. A family like the Cullens would never have taken me under their wing and loved me like their own. It was bad enough when he left, but I lost them all. My other mother and father, two big brothers: one full of compassion, the other full of life, a best friend and sister, and even an over-bearing old sister. Most importantly my soul mate, who wasn't just a lover, he was my best friend, my kindred spirit. So many vital parts of my heart torn away. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be whole again.
I had gone back to school, mostly for Charlie and Renee. I know they couldn't stand to see me suffer so. They deserved better. My parents had both taken care of me over the years. Even though I mothered Mom as much as she did me, she still taught my capacity to love. While Charlie taught me strength and will. So for them, I would continue going through the motions, never really living but existing. All my friends had all but abandoned me. Granted it wasn't just their fault. I wasn't up to participating in parties, outings, or even a lengthy conversation. Angela stuck with me as best she could. She has always been a kind soul. Though I could never fully open up to her. Tell her even what really happened or the depth of my love for the Cullens, especially him. But I promised to never divulge their secret and unlike him, I keep my promises.
Jacob came by often and tried to pull me out of my depression. We would hang out but I never really could open up to him either. Especially, since there was still jealousy there. I knew Jacob wanted more than friendship with me. I wasn't capable of that anymore, maybe never again. So I felt bad stringing him along. He was a kind soul and he deserved better. So I pulled away from him slowly as well. I didn't want to someday cause him the same pain I felt by just up and leaving when I realized I didn't love him that way.
I had taken to spending my time in the forest. It felt peaceful there. I felt connected to something bigger than myself. One day I found out why.
Sitting down on my favorite log, I relaxed and started to read Jane Eyre for the fifth time. It had taken awhile for me to rediscover my love of books. But they gave me solace again, an escape from the real world. The quietness of the forest also helped me get some measure of calm in my otherwise dark world. It was finally warm enough for me to spend more than a couple hours out there at a time, not that the cold bothered me as much as it used to. I began to hum an old Gaelic tune that my mother used to hum to me when I was baby. Up until that point, I hadn't even remembered it. It just came back to me. Before I even realized what was happening, I was surrounded by wildlife. Two rabbits were at my side, one of which was nuzzling my hand. A buck was standing in the distance as though he was on lookout, while a fawn curled up beside me opposite the rabbits. A doe, presumably the fawn's mother, grazed ten feet away. Eventually, I noticed a raccoon cleaning its face four feet to my right. I looked down, and virtually the whole forest floor was rustling with little creatures, like mice, insects, and spiders. Usually, I would be completely freaked out about this situation, but I strangely felt completely at peace for the first time in months. Then I noticed the glowing. My whole body was glowing with a beautiful white light. A voice broke through my wonder.
My nose was suddenly filled with intoxicating smell of flowers, fresh dew, and earth. I raised my head slowly and took in the most ethereal creature I had ever seen. She was tall, had long blond locks with a crown of flowers framing them, pale almost translucent skin covered in a white gauzy fabric that seemed to have a life of its own. Her facial features were refined yet natural with eyes like pale pools of water. Her most striking features were her ruby red lips and elegant ears that each came to a point. Her whole body was surrounded by the same white light that enveloped me. The animals did not seem phased by her presence with made me wonder if she was just an illusion. She then spoke again in a thick Irish brogue. I noticed she had no need to open her mouth for me to hear her.
Eilís, can you hear me?
The safeness I felt gave me the courage to speak to this beautiful creature.
"Are you speaking to me?" I asked softly.
"My Name isn't Eilís, its Bella."
Bella is your human name.
A confused expression washed over my face. "What?"
Your true name is Eilís.
I decided to go along. "OK, why are you here and who are you?"
It is time, child. You are ready to become what you are meant to be.
She walked closer, leaving a trail of growing flowers in her wake.
I am Gaia.
She then reached down and took my hands in hers. Her hands made my skin hum.
Annstas will lead you. Go to her.
"Who is Annstas?"
Your mother, little one. Mother must lead the child.
Do not worry, you have the strength inside to do anything.
You will bring balance and hope to this shattered world.
With those last haunting words and a gust of wind, her body changed into a thousand flower petals and blew away. I sat there for the next hour trying to let what I had just happened seen sink in. Was it a dream? Was I going insane? When it started to get dark, I stood to leave. Until that moment the animals had stayed with me as my confidants and protectors. I hated to see them go but I needed to get home before Charlie became worried.
Two weeks came and went. I tried to put aside that strange occurrence and go on with my old routine. But everywhere I would turn, something new and odd would happen. When I was in the forest, all matter of wildlife would follow. Bugs would follow me in a trail whenever I'd go inside a building. That was definitely unnerving, especially for Charlie and my classmates. The last straw was when one day I was sitting in class next to the window like I always do, and a whole flock of birds landed, lined up on the sill, and proceeded to stare at me. Not just a few birds, over a hundred. Totally disturbed by the sight, I quickly ask the teacher for a bathroom pass. I had to get out of that room. The birds' eyes followed me to the door and then took off as soon as I passed through the door. I immediately went inside the bathroom, leaned against the wall, and slid down into a sitting position. What is wrong with me? Breaking my thoughts, a wren carrying something in its mouth, flitted through the bathroom window and alit on my shoulder. When I outstretched my hand, it hopped down and left a stem covered in cherry blossoms there. I smiled down at the beautiful little bird and felt compelled to hum. I hummed that tune again. The bird pushed the twig, with its small beak, toward me in my hand and took flight, leaving through the window it came in. In that moment I knew I need to call my mother. I needed to hear her voice.
When I arrived home, I immediately called my mother. After four tries, she finally answered.
"Hey Bella, I'm glad you finally called. I've been so worried."
I took a deep breath and just blurted out what I'd been holding since that day in the forest.
"Are you Annstas?"
There was silence on the other end of the line. After a long pause, Mom spoke.
"He visited you finally, didn't he?"
"Who visited me? What have you been keeping from me?" I began to get upset.
"No, a woman named Gaia visited me."
A gasp followed by another long pause.
"What is it, Mom? Come clean!"
Renee took a deep breath and quickly said, "I'll be on the next available flight to you, hun. Tell Charlie I need him there as well. We will explain everything when I get there. I love you, sweetheart."
Before I even had a chance to respond, she hung up. Crap!
I busied myself cleaning the house while I waited for Charlie to get home. A million possibilities ran through my mind. Mostly I just feel betrayed. How could my mom and dad keep things from me? When Charlie gets here, I am grilling him.
A couple hours later, I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up.
"Hey, Bells. I'm home."
I met him at the door with an angry look on my face.
With a look of surprise, he asked, "What did I do?"
"Mom is headed up here on the next flight. She says you need to be present for us all to have an important conversation." I replied angrily.
"Oh." He then sat down and turned on the TV. He was obviously well aware of what was going on.
"'OH' is all you have to say? That's all explanation I get?" I huffed.
"Like your mom said, we will tell you when she gets here."
"That's not good enough, Charlie. I need answers." I screamed, while walking in front of the TV effectively blocking his view.
"Isabella Marie Swan, you may be 18, but you live under my roof. As long as you do, you WILL not speak to me that way!" He sternly replied.
"Fine. But I'm not happy about being lied to by both of you."
"I understand, but this is something your mother has to explain. Can you please hand me the phone so I can call her and find out when to pick her up?"
I reluctantly handed him the phone and retreated to my room, slamming the door behind me. Charlie yelled upstairs telling me Renee would be here tomorrow morning. I sighed, rolled over in my bed, and tried to get some sleep in the meantime. Isn't my life complicated enough?
Please review and tell me if you like this. It will be almost totally original if I continue.
The next chapter, if I get a good response, will tell you what Bella is really meant for.