You are visiting Ella's Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock. Welcome!

Hits: 6789

Date: Sometime during summer vacation.

Day Twenty Nine: Wednesday 4:09 AM

'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, listen to Iron Maiden, baby with meeeeeee….

I'm up so early because I woke up in sweats half an hour ago, because the next couple of days are going to be the LAST EVER of Ella's Blog, and I have a bunch of people to thank!

First off, Fabulous Fraternizing, this blog host after Max broke Blogspot. You rock for letting us have such a violent shade of purple for the background!

Next – and I'm going to put it in columns because there are SO MANY of you – those of you who have commented on here over the last month – although, to be honest, I feel like I've been writing on here for at least a year - who I have neglected to mention.






Vina is Awesome










Samantha Test

xXKassie GoodeXx







Blue Fangs



Sonya Rivers

Dt2009 with Dark Blue Wings


Hannah Brandon 1234321




Star Starer of Moonlit Skies





Diamond Sunshine




Okay, so columns didn't work. Whatever. You guys are immense, everyone should get a chance to see your screennames.

I'm going back to bed now, panic over. Also I think I have carpal tunnel.

Wait. First we need a list of stuff.

Song of the Summer: Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini by Connie Francis

Food of the Summer: Anything made by Iggy/containing sugar.

Gag of the Summer: "Um, Fang, they're Gazzy's speedos. They aren't supposed to be that tight." – Max.

Film of the Summer: Grease. Okay, kill me. It's just so… Happy. And automatic. And systematic. And hydromatic – yes, I will stop now. You're welcome.

Book of the Summer: Twilight. We spent a few evenings reading it out loud in funny voices, ad-libbing. Let's just say Eddie the Camp Vamp is much more convincing saying "Bring on the shackles – I'm your prisoner," in a voice like Kurt Hummel's.


FlyHighInTheSky: Good morning.

V0iCE: It's actually evening where I am.

IHeartFang: Me too! Oh my God, I'm in the same time zone as someone's voice….

Broken-Wings: Ella, who's God? I mean, in the comments?

Samzurman: I don't know about God, but I'm a goddamn stud.

You are visiting Ella's Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock. Welcome!

Hits: 7654

Date: Sometime during summer vacation.

Day Twenty Nine: Wednesday 8:17 PM

It's so boring, but today Mom and I got the flock ready to leave. We bought them new heavy-duty camping rucksacks and gear, got everyone fitted for new shoes, bought new and resilient clothes that are thermals so hypothetically work in all temperatures (I think). Everyone cleaned the house, packed up everything, threw out the crap that's been manifesting in various sock drawers, made Total apologise for leaving, ahem, mess, in Iggy's pillow and did last-minute washing. My ears are sore from machine and tumble dryer that have been going all day.

I know, it's sad that we haven't done much on the penultimate day, but Mom assures me it's good in the long run. We don't want the flock to starve to death, so we have stocked up on energy bars and Pot Noodle. They need to wash, so we got them toiletry bags that shouldn't explode in midair and shower New England in soap suds.

We're all going to get early nights now, because tomorrow will be AMAZING. I promise.


JoJonasAndFang4life: PARTY!

Lisssssaaaaa: Make sure there are pole dancers. You always need pole dancers at a party to make it worthwhile.

Dr.M: There will be no pole dancers.

Fax_Lurver: Lissa, if you like pole dancers so much, are you a lesbian?

ScarzNWingz: Oh, if there is a god, please let L be a lesbian. Even though you don't like homosexual people, according to my atheist mother.

Not_A_Cutter: L isn't a lesbian, she just enjoys watching men get turned on by pole dancers. This is because she is so over the top they never get turned on when looking at her, they just puke. Unless they're really desperate. Or drunk. Or gay and trying to prove they're straight by getting it up with someone who is blatantly a woman because she wears shirts so low and skirts so high the whole outfit is one big belt complete with knee-high plastic boots.

dawgZruleZ: That was low, dude. But I'm a psychologist and I agree.

You are visiting Ella's Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock. Welcome!

Hits: 8976

Date: Sometime during summer vacation.

Day Thirty: Thursday 11:32 PM

News on the Puppy Front: Akila and Total are staying behind when the flock leave because Akila needs Mom's expertise and Total needs to be there when his first children are born. They will have the spare room. Puppy name suggestions have included: Haichiko, Apollo, Pavlov, Laika, Bleka and Strelka. I'm rooting for names after the Glee cast, personally.

I'm sure naming a dog Kurt wouldn't make it gay. Or suicidal.

I'm sorry for all the Kurt references, but if anyone reading this watches Glee they will understand that Mr. Hummel's dress sense is the best of the entire cast and he needs a boyfriend, or at least more screen time.

By the way, Mom has a boyfriend. Not 'boyfriend', she keeps saying, 'colleague'. Whatever. His name is Steve and he works at the vet's. They bonded over giving Akila an ultrasound, or something. That is really odd. Still, something to tell the grandchildren about. "Your papa and I first kissed over a bitch's growing fetuses." I'd love a half brother or sister. It would be nice to have company while the flock are saving the universe. Plus, third time lucky – this child might actually be sane. Max agrees with me.

We threw a party today. Not a college-type party or a funeral party or even a goodbye-party, just a gathering of some people who have shared great times in the past and decided to again, just in case something awful happens and a flock member dies before they get to invade again.

Christine and Lorraine came over with the pool and some water pistols and there was the biggest, most dangerous, aerodynamic water fight the world has ever seen. There was not one inch of dry garden – there was water for two feet into the ground. We know because Gazzy blew up something explosive that, although it made a deep crater, was extinguished immediately by the gloopy mud.

Lunch was a fun affair. It was actually more than lunch: it was an all-day sugar munching festival. Iggy spent the early hours of this morning in the kitchen with some ingredients he and Nudge had hauled home from the store yesterday, and emerged with the LARGEST EFFING CAKE I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON. It was so impressive it needs a paragraph all of its own to get the point across:

The base layer was the size of an average car tyre. It was coated in thick white whip cream, and was made of six individual cakes glued together with chocolate spread. It tasted like vanilla. The next layer was about the same size but square, stuck on flat like a diamond-y table, covered in multicoloured hundreds and thousands sprinkled onto marshmallows that had been melted so spread onto the square at least two inches thick. I believe that one was mocha flavoured. The final layer was a pyramid the size of a boxing glove, and was striped in rainbow colours. I don't know how Iggy did it, but each stripe tasted of a different fruit while also managing to give us all a sugar rush. We named it Heaven On a Plate.

I can't really sum up what we did today; what would you do if your family was leaving for months, possibly years, and you didn't know if or when you would see them again? We played tag, dive bombed the pool, sat around saying nothing, savouring the moment. For at least twelve hours.

Then, forty five minutes or so ago, Gazzy and Iggy pulled their best stunt so far this year: fireworks! We all had one each, even Total and Akila's unborn puppies, whose display consisted of a huge dog collar backed by sixty foot wings, glowing gold and green, Akila's racing colours. Max's display was a pair of Converse All Star and a road sign pointing to Vegas. Fang's went up at the same time, with an identical sign in the same direction, below a pair of high heels that exploded dramatically, reminding us all of L's lovely visit. Nudge, Angel, Christine, Lorraine and I got hairbrushes and make up, and my personalised one was a violet laptop. The sparks ended with a message from the flock in silver:





I love those guys so much it hurts. Christine has a video recorder and she captured all of today on film, which she promises will make its way to mine and Lorraine's doorstep very soon. She will email one to the flock too, and I will text them to make sure they check their mail, wherever they are.

How will I text them, I hear you ask…

Well, the girls, Mom and I clubbed together and bought each flock member a cell phone to make sure they keep in touch. Fang and Nudge have made sure they're untraceable and, hopefully, bomb and bullet proof. The flock will defiantly look after them over the next few months because Total is adamant they get hourly updates on Akila's condition.

Oh God.

I can't believe they're leaving tomorrow. I'll miss them so much!


fAx4eVa: We're going to miss your blogs, Ella.

Christeeen: Thank you so much for the cake, Iggy! It's the best thing ever.

Fangalicious: I live in Arizona, and I could see those fireworks from where my house is on the outskirts of Phoenix. They were amazing.

IMustBeWEmo: Not_A_Cutter, I love you. You're a genius. I also like your makeup. And your jeans. And your smile, your laugh, your body… Thank you so much for introducing us, Ella! You saved our lives!

LorraineHeartsBacktotheFuture: I concur with Christine. Don't. Lose. My. Number.

PawsWeekly: From everyone here at Paws Weekly, congratulations to Total and Akila, and thank you so much for boosting our stats! Celeb dogs rule! However, we will not become paps. We will respect privacy.

You are visiting Ella's Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock. Welcome!

Hits: 9876

Date: Sometime during summer vacation.

Day Thirty One: Friday 9:23 AM

Well, they're gone.

Watching them fly off into the sunset was possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I was crying, Mom was crying, Total was crying. It's harder to tell with Akila, but her ears were down.

I'm so sad! I miss them already! What if one of them gets eaten by a rabid bear or forgets to flap and falls into the Grand Canyon? What if Iggy times a bomb wrong and it blows up all of New York and its surrounding states? I'm so worried.

But I'm inspired too. Those kids have been through so much in their short lives, and the way they all twitch when they sleep is testimony to it. So is the time I got up for the loo at three in the morning and Nudge karate chopped me with her eyes closed, but that's beside the point.

The point is that they are the nicest people I know and we could all learn a lesson or two from them, even if it's just 'learn self-defence'. I started this blog thinking it would be amusing to see how many hits it got, but it's turned into a documentary of the best summer of my life – and yours too, but only if you live on the World Wide Web and have a pet goldfish that you talk to like a person.

I'll stop rambling now and let you get on with summer camp or whatever it is you do…

Oh, and thanks for making this blog larger than Fang's…

Told you I could do it, Fang. You owe me five dollars.


Fang: It's in the post.

PyrosRule: Thank you for the cake paragraph. I was considering making it flame at the top, but if I'd tripped over carrying it there could have been a catastrophe.

BlondeAndBeaming: Total, keep us up to date on those puppies! We're going to come back for the christening, aren't we, guys?

Max_R: Definitely. Thank you for the cookies!

NuDgE: Christine and Lorraine, you are epic. I hope you don't mind that I accidently took your mascara, Lorraine.

Gazz: Nudge, no one can even tell you're wearing mascara, your eyelashes are black already. I will use it as an explosive.

I'mNotToto: Please don't.

Thanks for sticking with Ella and I over the past year as I try to salvage a storyline while making shameless My Chemical Romance references. No one should have to put up with those sort of puns.

If it pleaseth you to review, kindly do. Even if it doesn't pleaseth you, review anyway and tell me what you think of my writing... I don't mind flames.

By the way, there will be no sequel. It would be like The Black Parade Two, had it ever existed. A total waste of time and energy that would have ruined the original.

Sorry, I couldn't resist one last mention.

Thank you all so much for the reviews, alerts and favourites!

Happy Star Wars Day... May the Fourth Be With You.