Gokudera stared out at the night sky. A cool breeze blew through him, his silver locks blowing away from his face, his dark colored jacket flowing behind him. He closed his eyes, images of times past flooding his thoughts. All the memories from this place, all the safe and silly memories of when they were just kids, when this all began. He opened his eyes again, a tiny smile on his lips. He could hear nothing except some cars in the distance, a soft rumble that seemed soothing to him at the moment. He glanced down, it wasn't that far of a drop, was it? Would he suffer or would it all end quickly? He hoped for the latter, although he knew better. Life had always made him suffer but it didn't matter anymore.

Distracted by his own thoughts, deep in his own mind, Gokudera did not hear the rooftop door swing open, the sound of heavy footsteps running, running quickly toward him from behind, a familiar voice yelling out his name over and over again.

"Hayato!! Hayato, Stop!!!"

One step away, one step away and he can be finally be calm. No time to be a coward, he thought lifting his right foot over the edge. His eyes closed as he took that final step off the edge of the roof. It's funny, his heart wasn't racing at all as he waited for that familiar darkness to finally take him away for good this time.


Gokudera's eyes flew open as he felt something jerk his arm upward and almost out of it's socket. He was looking down at the ground that was still quite a ways away. What the fuck?! How could he have screwed this up as well?! He turned his head to look upward, feeling the hand that gripped his forearm tightly.

"Hayato, grab my arm!"

His green eyes blinked up to meet frantic brown ones. Why now? Why are you here now?! His voice screamed inside his head, tears welling and flowing without hesitation from his eyes as he stared in disbelief at his would-be hero. For a moment his hand reached up to him, fingers touching the sleeve of his jacket, grasping and then releasing. He let his hand fall limply, shaking his head up at his savior who gasped loudly.

"Hold on to me!"

Those words sounded so desperate, Gokudera thought, so desperate from someone who tried to do this very thing, from this very same roof years before. He gasped himself as his body suddenly lurched downward, the weight of his body causing his friend to slide down the rooftop himself struggling to keep them both up with one arm, the other braced on the concrete above to stop them both from going over in a losing battle. No! This isn't what I wanted!


Gokudera looked straight ahead, his body swinging slowly from left to right, his arm aching from the strain of all his body weight on just that one shoulder. How did he know I was here? He shook his head in disbelief at his bad luck. He looked back up, having made up his mind, no turning back now.


let me go."

There was no fight left in his voice, he sounded calmer than he ever had in the past. No more fighting, no more arguing, just a simple request really. He smiled, just a small smile, at how nice that name sounded right now, actually saying it to the person he'd always wanted to call it out to.

"Let me go."

He blinked as he felt wetness fall from above to his right cheek, tears that weren't his own, those big brown eyes staring at him in disbelief. Don't cry for me, you idiot! You'll finally be rid of me! Let go, you bastard! He tried to wiggle his arm free as much as he could move it, free from that iron grip that just would not let go but only gripped tighter. Another slip in their struggle, and Takeshi's body was already half way over the roof. Gokudera could hear voices and cries from below them now, feminine voices mostly he thought and could only assume who they belonged to, but his eyes stayed fixed on his stubborn friend above.

"I'm not letting you go!"

Gokudera was surprised to see fury in those usually tranquil eyes and he was pulling at him with even more strength than before. He actually felt his body moving slowly back up as the idiot was making progress. He saw Takeshi's eyes distracted momentarily to someone below.

"Tsuna, help me!"

No! Not the Tenth! He's not supposed to be here either! Fuck! Gokudera already knew what was coming so he wasn't surprised when he felt hands on his waist suddenly, lifting him up and Takeshi along with him, back to the safety of the rooftop. His feet set down lightly on the concrete, the Tenth still in dying will mode. Gokudera shook his arm free from Takeshi as he lay there, slowly rolling over and sitting up. He seemed out of breath and his right arm hung limply down just as Gokudera's left arm did, both having been pulled out of their sockets.

The rooftop door flung open, various other friends running out, all dressed up for the occasion, to fuss over the three of them. Gokudera avoided his boss' worried eyes and worst yet, those other brown eyes that were glaring at him fiercely from across the rooftop now. He turned his head completely away as the stupid woman ran past him to embrace Takeshi and wipe the sweat from his face with the sleeve of her dress. Just a few more steps to the doorway, I can't watch this anymore.

Gokudera stopped as a soft hand was placed on his shoulder, his boss' hand, his Juudaime, who despite all of his efforts he always seemed to let down, or so he thought.

"We need to get you to a hospital."

"I'm fine, Juudaime."

"No, you're not."

His boss looked at him pitifully before touching his left arm that hung slack against his side and it was only then did he feel the actual pain of his injury. How curious, he thought, that he hadn't even noticed until now. He smiled a little and nodded to his boss. There was no way he'd be left alone now to finish himself off after what just happened so he headed back down the stairs with his boss at his side, once again defeated.

Somewhere behind them, Takeshi was being helped down the stairs as well, but Gokudera never looked back. He waited at his boss' side as the car was brought to them, sitting quietly on the leather seat looking out the window on the short drive to the hospital. He knew his boss wanted to ask him why, why would he do such a thing? But he didn't and Gokudera was grateful for the time being. How can this possibly get any worse?! He sighed deeply, sinking lower into the seat and closing his eyes. He'd just have to think of another way.