Shades of Patience
One shot based on Peyton's drawings from 6x19 episode (Letting Go). Four more to go :) Loosely based off song All We Are by One Republic. Lyrics are slightly scattered. (this isn't a song fic) LP and Baby. :)
Lyrics in bold/italics. Past in just italics.
Sorry to make you guys wait for Chapter 13 (of Frozen in Ink) Forgive me and take this as my sincere apology.
I tried to paint you a picture….
Peyton finished shading the familiar face with the ivory colored pencil and smiled at the resemblance to Lucas. Her mind was running in circles, her mortality on her mind, and the baby, god the baby's face wouldn't go away. Every time her eyes closed she saw her, the little girl with her curly blonde hair, her father's eyes and nose. And it practically killed Peyton. She remembered growing up with out her mother, how she clung to the memories of the short years she got to spend with her, and how her daughter might not give to have any. It made her want to cry. Peyton rested the pencil on the coffee table, and felt a deep uprooting feeling in her abdomen. She thought it was like last time, the shooting pain that made her collapse, but then she knew it was a kick. Peyton grabbed the fabric of her shirt and placed a weak smile on her face, tears began to stream down, slow and beautiful. How could she leave this behind?
The colors were all wrong. Black and white didn't fit ya…
She placed the finished drawing in the hat box, filled to the brim with music, art, pictures. All the things that told her life story, the things she couldn't bare to leave behind. Peyton thumbed through the albums she'd produced, Mia's, Haley's, and Friends with Benefits. Then there was the countless art, drawing from when she was younger, till now, everything leading up to now. The photos were countless, all the ones that had yet to be hung on the fridge or placed in frames around the house, but were equally important. A photo of her and Lucas had caught her eye. It was black and white picture, Peyton was sitting on Lucas's lap smiling, and it had been taken on their trip to Los Vegas.
She stood before him, in her white dress smiling at his remark of her appearance, they sat in their hotel room in Vegas, discussing where they should go to get married.
"We need a camera." Peyton said laughing at him.
"If were getting married, don't you think we should document it since…"
"Since it's just us two. This is unfair Peyt. How can I ask you to do this?" Lucas said softly brushing her cheek.
"Luke baby, I love you."
The two of them went downstairs to the lobby hand in hand to get a disposable camera from the hotel gift shop.
They both traveled down the small cramped aisles quickly, the cashier had warned them he was closing soon.
"I found one," he said with eagerness in his voice.
"Yay!" Peyton said snatching it from him and studying the packaging. They both walked toward the register and Peyton stopped quickly.
"What's wrong?" Lucas asked her.
"It's black and white Luke, I want color."
Luke leans in and kisses her forehead, "It is your wedding day after all. You should have whatever you want."
Luke leans on the cashier counter and asks the store cashier, "Do you have any color cameras?"
"Sorry, dude. We're all out. Sold the last one an hour ago."
"Damn," Peyton whispered. "Just get the camera, Luke." And he did as she asked.
It was later that night the photo was taken after Lucas proposed again in the LA hotel room. That night was probably the night the baby was conceived. Peyton smiled through her tears and placed the photo back into the box.
And all along, you were shaded with patience. The strokes of everything that I need just to make it…
The love that Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer had shared with Lucas Eugene Scott for the past eight years didn't die, it didn't fade, it was just there, through everything, even when they felt they would never be able to come back to each other. Somehow they always did. Lucas Scott could not imagine his life without Peyton. When he found out about her condition, he wanted to terminate the pregnancy, he gave it no thought, he just wanted Peyton. But then she told him something, that maybe the whole point of the two of them was this life, this baby. It then dawned on Lucas what a big deal this was, the life nestled in his fiancée's womb, she was going to make it out, or at least it's what she promised him.
He found the hat box sitting on the coffee table, angels covering it. Angels were never really Peyton's thing, except the angel of death. Alarmed and curious Lucas opens the box and finds a drawing on the night he proposed for the second time to Peyton. On the right hand corner, scripted are the words love, Mom. He keeps looking back at the drawing and begins digging through the box, more and more.
"Hey baby, I was thinking that maybe we could get in the car and…" Peyton stops her thoughts as she walks into the living room to see Luke going through the box.
"What is this?" he asks her.
"In case," she says barely above a whisper.
"If you have doubts," he says standing up.
"NO! NO,NO, NO!" she says folding her arms over her chest. "I'm having this baby!"
"I know you are," he said softly. He sat back down on the couch and she preceded in sitting beside him.
"We've been through so much together," he said placing his hand on her knee
"And I was selfish for asking you to terminate this, I realize that now."
She smiled a soft sad smile. "I know you're gonna make it." He said firm, so sure of himself.
"I know," she added taking his hand into hers. "And it's all because of you."
I could tear you apart but it won't break everything that we are, we are…
Peyton and Lucas spent the rest of the months of the pregnancy preparing for Anna's arrival. The walls were painted a pale pink, with Peyton adding angels and other beautiful hand-painted artwork to the nursery. Lucas distanced himself from her, he was so scared, and it was eating him alive.
He sat in the armchair, nursing a beer, watching the tar heels game.
"Lucas," Peyton called out, pulling her hair up and walking into the living room where he sat.
"Yeah," he replied
"It's time for dinner,"
"I'll be there in a minute," he called back in the same monotone voice he'd been using for the past two months, every time she spoke to him.
Peyton scoped vegetables on the twos plates and sat down in the chair. She watched her fiancé's figure from where he sat, he didn't move.
She waited for half-hour and watched him tip his beer and do nothing but keep his eyes glued to the TV. Finally in a rage, she stood up and marched in to the living room and stood in front of him, blocking his view.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Watching the game, Peyt. What the hell does it look like I'm doing?"
"Damn it, Lucas. What is the matter with you?" She exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air.
"Nothing," he said trying to look away from her eyes, he glared at her belly.
"Don't say that! You aren't going to loose me, me, you, and Anna are going to be a family."
He popped up out of his seat alarming her, "You don't know that!" he screamed
"Damn it Peyton, you could die!"
"But I'm not," she said tears beginning to stream down her face. "I'm not dead yet, Lucas." She said cupping his chin. He turned away.
"Look at me," she whispered. He turned and his blue eyes met her glazed over green ones, she couldn't stop crying.
"I love you, okay. I told you, we're gonna make it." Lucas began to cry and it was then he realized what an ass he had been.
He leaned in and kissed her, their lips brushed and the heat burned at the simple touch.
They were going to survive; there was no longer a doubt in his mind.
We won't say our goodbyes, you know its better that way.
We won't break, we won't die….
All we are is everything that right….
All the preparations had been made, for Peyton's delivery of Anna. She sat up in the hospital bed, smiling, ready for the birth of her daughter. No one uttered a goodbye anytime before, and no one would now. It didn't matter how scared Lucas, Haley, Nathan, or Brooke was, they had all decided it was best to remain positive. They had to.
"You excited daddy?" Peyton called as Lucas stared nervously out the window.
He smiled softly. "You bet, mommy."
Haley and Nathan sat in two chairs at the end of the room, Brooke sat next to her on the bed, holding her hand.
Lucas walked over to her bedside and kissed her lips softly.
"Have we decided on a middle name, Aunt Haley?" Peyton asked.
Lucas and Peyton decided that Haley would get to pick Anna's middle name and Brooke got to be the god mother.
Haley pushed her hair behind her ear, took Nathan's hand, and smiled. "Hope,"
Brooke grinned. "Anna Hope Scott, beautiful."
The five waited around anxiously, doctors came in and out, and they could do nothing but wait. They talked about good times, the wedding, and the little girl who was about to make her first appearance into the world.
Hours took over until Peyton's doctor came in and smiled. "It's time, Peyton."
Haley, Nathan, and Brooke, hugged her and wished her good luck. Peyton assured them, she'd see them soon, and they'd finally get to meet little Anna Hope Scott.
The doctor's wheeled her away, Lucas put scrubs on, and hugged his friends. They all said a small silent prayer, and Lucas followed a nurse into the OR.
The doctors had chosen to perform a c-section months before, telling Lucas it would be the safest bet for Peyton and the baby. He smiled at Peyton who lay on the table. Lucas walked over and took her hand.
"I love you," he whispered, pressing his lips to her temple.
Peyton squeezed his hand tight. "I love you too."
An incision was cut into Peyton's skin and the procedure began. The monitors beeped and filled Lucas's ears. He was so afraid that his hand started to shake. Peyton squeezed it and smiled.
It was then that Lucas heard a wail and squeezed Peyton's hand tightly. The doctor lifted the little girl over the curtain that covered Peyton's abdomen.
"She's beautiful, babe." He whispered in her ear. The baby's balled fists were thrusting in the air and the screaming continued. The doctor handed the baby to the nurse and turned his attention back to Peyton.
After a few moments the nurse brought the baby over to Lucas and Peyton wrapped and bundled in a blanket. Lucas held her and looked into the baby's deep blue eyes that stared right back into his own. He felt complete. He laid the baby on Peyton's side and she smiled and rubbed her daughter's chubby cheek. It was in these moments that a family came together, things changed, and it felt like all Lucas and Peyton were ever suppose to be was parents to their daughter, Anna Hope Scott.