Darkness. Pure, desolate, and pressing darkness. Minerva couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. She just knew that she was trapped—trapped without a wand in a dark and very, very, very tiny space. She heard the clearing of a throat somewhere in regards to her left and a soft silvery voice was heard,

"Oh dear,"

That was the last straw.

"OH DEAR! YOU GET US LOCKED IN A BROOM CUPPARD AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS OH DEAR?

"Minerva, please. The volume of this space isn't quite large enough for your impressive vocal abilities—

"VOLUME OF SPACE? THERE ISN'T ANY SPACE, ALBUS!

"Minerva, it was an accident. I just wanted to help you find a spare broomstick and the door shut—

"Walls…closing in…must find a way out…

"Are you extremely claustrophobic, my dear?

"BRILLIANT, SHERLOCK. LET"S JUST HEAD BACK TO BAKER STREET FOR A SPOT OF TEA, EH?

"Who is—?

"AND YOU CAN GET YOUR BLOODY VIOLIN AND PLAY ME BLOODY MUSIC--

"This gentleman—

"AND SMOKE BLOODY COCAINE ALL NIGHT AND PONDER OVER YOUR BLOODY LOST LOVE WITH BLOODY IRENE ADLER"

"That you speak of?"

"BLOODY SHERLOCK HOLMES, DAMN IT"

"Do I know him?"

"NO YOU FOOL! HE'S A CHARACTER IN MUGGLE LITERATURE!"

"Really? I always thought that you women went for the—oh, what's his name?"

"HOW SHOULD I BLOODY KNOW WHAT SOME STUPID CHARACTER'S NAME IS?"

"Sparky…Percy…"

"We will never get out. I am going to die,"

"Barcy…Carcy…Darcy! DARCY?"

"What?"

"Mr. Darcy!"

"What about him?"

"He's the sort of man all the women go after in Muggle literature,"

"Oh. Well. I never liked him that much. Oh, we will never get OUT OF HERE!"

"Minerva,"

"The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of squares of the other two sides of a right triangle,"

"Minerva,"

"Hogwarts owls have superiority over all correspondence when marked with the seal of the headmaster or his deputy,"

"Minerva,"

"I like ginger newts with peach tea—peppermint if I'm cold,"

"Minerva, you won't hear a single word I say,"

"Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries,"

"He was not and she did not but you're rambling,"

"I like to wango,"

"Minerva, you're beautiful,"

"Especially in the rain when no one is watching me,"

"Minerva, I love you,"

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amor—what?"

(…)

"Albus what did you say?"

"I…I didn't think you…"

"Albus, tell me,"

"Minerva, I…I love you,"

"Wh—what?

"I have for at least twenty years,"

"I don't understand,"

"I'm sorry,"

"NO!"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't be sorry…I love you, too,"

Neither of them noticed the door swing open and the spiky grey head of the flying instructor dash around the corner…