Dirty Jokes

Summary: Grell just told his boyfriend, the Undertaker, the most hilarious joke he's ever heard. Yaoi. Undertaker/Grell/Undertaker? Funny little one-shot R&R

Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji does not belong to me. It belongs to Toboso Yana. But the plot pretty much belongs to me. Though I wouldn't be surprised if Toboso-sama ever wrote a plot like this. =w=

Hmmkay. This is for the friend of mine that introduced me to Kuroshitsuji in the first place. She loves Grell so I wrote her something with Grell in it. I hope you all enjoy it too.

Be kind. This is my first Kuroshitsuji fic (though not my first fic in general by far). Expect a Sebastian/Ciel fic from me in the future. But that one will definately not be written for young eyes to see.

Warnings: Slight spoilers. Nothing major. And many different hints of sex but nothing too graphic.


The dark building echoed with laughter.

"You're quite the joke-teller, Grell," the Undertaker said with a wide, pointy-toothed smile. Grell, already used to his somewhat disturbing boyfriend, frowned noticeably and stuck out his tongue.

"That wasn't a joke," he whined. "I meant it! I'm a seme; no exceptions." He smiled, proud of himself.

The Undertaker let out a few more shrill cries of joy. Grell glared. "Not with me, you're not," the Undertaker said, the usual gloominess of his voice making the comment sound strangely like a threat.

Grell just chuckled. Being a great shinigami, he was used to threats.

"That's what Sebastian said at first too," he laughed, squirming in girlish delight at the memory. The Undertaker quirked an eyebrow at this, clearly interested.

"Do explain…" he said, urging him to elaborate.

"Well, one day I helped the chibi Phantomhive save that little fiancé of his. In return he said I could do whatever I want to that butler of his." He flashed his boyfriend a catlike grin. "This is all before I was with you, of course," he said quickly.

"Of course…" the Undertaker mumbled, indicating it was unimportant to the story, "continue."

"So," Grell began again with renewed vigor. "I did an excellent job in finding the young lady, of course, and I got my reward."

"But didn't the butler protest to being whored out like that?" the Undertaker asked rather blatantly. Grell shrugged.

"That man always does what his little master says," he grumbled. "All he cares about is his stupid human 'bochama'. I swear that man has a serious shota complex."

"So he just… let you?" the Undertaker asked, peering at the lower shinigami from behind the curtain of silver hair blocking his view.

"Indeed, he did." Grell chuckled. He put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest proudly. "It's not technically his body so he didn't care what I did to it."

"Kukuku," the Undertaker chuckled. "I had no idea." They both grinned pervertedly as silence signaled the end of the conversation.

"So… you see now?" Grell asked after a while.

"See what?" the Undertaker asked, confused.

"How much of a seme I am!" Grell cried, waving his arms in the air to demonstrate this further. The Undertaker smirked.

"One time with a butler who was only following orders doesn't count," he said matter-of-factly.

"But! I-"

"No, my dear," the Undertaker murmured, bringing his index finger to the red-head's lips. Grell fell silent. "I will show you just how amusing that statement really is. Now get in that open coffin over there and lie down."

"But I-"

"Now!" the shinigami said, eyes flashing in silent warning. Grell whimpered and did as he was told.

The Undertaker chuckled and blew out the only candle illuminating the dreary room.

"Undertaker? Baby, I can't see wh- oh. Ohhh~ Ah~~"

Owari~