Disclaimer:: You know the drill, I don't own any of these characters. Boo.

Zoro glared at his enemy from across the table. Damn that woman, he thought irritably.

Nico Robin chose to ignore her opponent's hideous glaring and favored him with a smile.

"Checkmate, Swordsman-kun."

Zoro blinked at the chess board, "Where did that pawn come from??! I thought I had all of those!"

"Oh, I could show you…" Robin pointed helpfully at the board, re-routing the pawn's last few locations.

"Never mind!"

Luffy blinked from his perch atop a barrel. "Wait…what's wrong, Zoro?"

"Obviously, I lost to her! I need to perfect my chess skills…It's been too long since I played." He rubbed at his temples wearily. It had been a long day on top of losing a game to someone.

The captain tilted his head quizzically to one side, "But I thought I was winning….wasn't the point to see who could eat the most of those little fake people?"

Zoro blinked.

Robin muttered, "Oh Dear, I guess Longnose-kun will need to make more pieces."

"Hmmm…" muttered Luffy, "That didn't fill me up at all! I'm still soooooo hungry!" Luffy performed a spring-loaded dive off of the barrel and ran towards the general area of the ship's kitchen.

"I believe Sanji is fixing dinner. Should we warn him?" Nico-Robin frowned slightly at the now-empty doorway.

"Naaah." Zoro smirked.

The raven-haired woman sighed, getting up from the table. "Oh well, I guess we'll have to find something else to pass the time-"

Neither of them noticed the string on Robin's blouse until it was too late. One strand of her blouse had snagged on the wooden table, causing the undoing of Robin's entire shirt. The archeologist's left breast popped out of her blouse, jiggling in a very overt manner. Her nipple quickly grew hard with the touch of night's chill.

Zoro, still sitting, was left eye-to-boob level.

He gulped; face turning several unnatural shades of red all at once.

And Nico Robin, who should have been making every effort to stuff her womanliness back into what was left of the now-ruined top, simply stared wide-eyed at her exposure and muttered, "Oh, my."

Zoro faltered, sweat dripping off his brow. What was that unfamiliar tightening in his pants? This sudden, straining heat in his groin?

"Oh no!" Zoro yelled, on the brink of a horrible epithany, "I…I'M AROUSED!"

Sanji's voice was heard yelling from the kitchen, "Oh GREAT, I just vomited in the rice. Now I have to start all over. Thanks for the TMI you shitty marimo."

Zoro got up and zoomed out of the room, hands covering the cause of his embarrassment. It took two minutes of imagining Franky naked to cure him of his "problem".

The swordsman hung on the ship's railing, arms dangling over the side. He stared down, into the murky depths of The Grand Line's waters. He had fled to the other side of the ship, shamed beyond all belief. Robin would probably never speak to him again, let alone trust him. This could affect their overall teamwork as a crew.

And what had done it for him anyway? Sure, she was an attractive woman. Very attractive. Sure she was independent and strong-willed, with incredible legs and a smile that always hinted at lots of secrets she left unsaid-"

Oh great, there it was again. His friend sexual tension was back for round two. Ok, Zoro knew he'd been repressing a few things since this voyage, focusing solely on improving his sword skills for the good of his nakama and some personal goals. But come on! This was just ridiculous! Surely this dangerous new light in which he viewed Robin could be switched off as easily as it had been switched on.

"Dinner's ready, losers!" Sanji yelled from the kitchen, walking out while gracefully balancing several dishes on his arms. After placing the items on a table, he ran back to the kitchen yelling "Don't trouble yourself with that, Nami-swan and Robin-chwan, I'll bring the good food out for your lovely, discriminating pallets in just a minute."

Shit, he had to go eat. His stomach's irritated rumbling was proof of that. He headed back to the crew, once again filling his head with hideous mental imagery in a sad attempt to curb his arousal.

Luckily, the food let him temporarily clear his mind. Robin and Nami were sitting away from the men in lawn chairs, being served by that man-bitch Sanji. The archeologist didn't seem preoccupied by any thoughts from earlier, but then again Robin was about as easy to see through as a mud puddle. She could have been thinking anything, and he would be none-the-wiser.

Later that night, just when Zoro had tugged his shirt off and climbed into his hammock, Robin walked into the men's cabin.

"Swordsman-kun, could you come to my room in a few minutes please? I would like to discuss something with you privately." She looked solemn. Zoro had a very good idea what that thing was. He nodded gravely. When she left, he could barely make himself climb out of his scratchy but familiar hammock into unknown verbal territory.

Zoro finally made himself roll out of the hammock, and pulling his shirt back on walked as slowly as he could manage to Robin's room. When he opened the door, he glanced quickly to Nami's bed. She was nowhere to be found. He looked at Robin's bed, quickly noticing Robin's presence on said furniture. His next impression was her clothing.

Or lack thereof.

She was wearing a tight, leather corset that did a very sad job of encompassing her rather voluminous cleavage, which looked very close to bursting out of its entrapments. Her hair was a black satin dream, blending in with her corset and falling in streams down the front of her body. She was sitting at an angle where Zoro couldn't make out much below her waist, but from what he could deduce there wasn't much clothing to make out anyway.

His jaw dropped open. An arm appeared inches from his face on the wooden inner wall, grabbed the door's knob and pulled it shut.

Locked it.

Zoro glanced quickly over to the dis-attached arm, then back to the overwhelming, womanly presence lounging on the bed. Sweat formed on his brow, contrasting his suddenly dry mouth.

"Bruuh." He mumbled. Oh great, he thought, point for Zoro.

Robin quirked one beautifully-sculpted eyebrow, "I had no idea you were attracted to me until earlier tonight, Swordsman-kun. You seemed about as sexual as a dead tree stump, and twice as difficult to flirt with."

He blinked, "Sounds like me, yeah."

She continued, "I'm growing somewhat bored at night, I need a distraction a little more…. involved than chess."

The swordsman ran his fingers through his short, green hair, "Do you think this is such a good idea, Robin? I mean, we ARE crewmates -"

The woman plowed on, unresponsive to the swordsman's pleas. She gave him a look that could probably freeze water and melt it into a steaming, submissive puddle all in a matter of seconds.

"Do you want to guess how many orifices I have right now, Swordsman-kun?"

Zoro stared, wide-eyed for a good five-to-ten seconds, then dove madly for the door.

"More than I had a few minutes ago." She stated, un-fazed by his attempted escape.

Zoro felt a hand inside his shirt, reaching from his back to his chest. Fingers danced their way into his pants…

Gasping, Zoro finally unfastened the door lock and lunged into the cold sea air. As soon as he was out of Robin's line of vision, the phantom appendage on his person disappeared into a poof of sakura petals. Zoro ran-stumbled for the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and jerked off before he had time to think about it. He leaned over, staring into the toilet, his forehead pressed against the restroom wall.

What was happening to him? He hadn't felt the need to pleasure himself in over a year, thanks to extreme physical devotion to his sword-training. His only thoughts, day and night, were of becoming the greatest swordsman in the world. He had convinced himself that simple physical pleasures, aside from the occasional festival, were just a waste of mental energy. Especially sex. That was the worst of all, left unattended thoughts of lovemaking would endlessly fill his head. Instead of stopping at towns looking for better swords and training materials, he would head straight to the nearest brothel. He knew this.

He'd done it before.

Zoro banged his forehead half-heartedly against the wall a few times. He went back to bed, disconcerting thoughts floating aimlessly though his increasingly uneasy mind.