Warning(s): Slash. Boy kissing. Jealous!Dillon. Spastic!Ziggy.
Summary: Dillon is not the cutest. Dillon is jealous. Ziggy is oblivious. (As usual.) Ziggy/Dillon, one-shot.

AN:Very, very silly. A bit cracky, but mostly just good fun – because it is my belief that Ziggy definitely believes he has the best hair and that Dillon is a bit of a girl.

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black with envy

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"Which Ranger looks cutest in the span…in tights?"

"Uh, actually I- I-I can answer that question,

uh, I think it comes down to the angle at which, you, ah…"

-

Dillon tilted his head slightly to peer out from underneath his car. Flat on his back, he watched with mild interest as two bright sneakers squeaked into view. They paused by Dillon's legs for several moments and Dillon paused in his work to study them more closely. It was a long second before the feet started fidgeting, one nudging the toes of the other foot, one's toes scratching idly at the other one's heel.

"Hey Zig," Dillon said, knowing his voice would be muffled but knowing that Ziggy would understand anyway. Half-kind-of-mostly-dating your closest friend did stuff like that.

"Hi Dillon," came the reply, a split second later. The feet stopped fidgeting and Dillon took that to be his cue to roll out. A moment later, he found himself staring up at a familiar curly mop of hair and a squinty -eyed stare. He waited, knowing he wouldn't have to stay quiet for more than-

"Why isn't my hair the coolest?" Ziggy whined a millisecond later. "I totally talk pretty even without an accent and I definitely have cool hair, if not the coolest, I can be an inspiration to tiny tiny children and cute puppies and old people and why doesn't anyone ever propose to me!?" he said in one long breath, pacing a little and sending Dillon slight cross eyed trying to follow him.

Dillon stayed silent, carefully measuring his answer. No need to set Ziggy off, past 'moderately and kind of adorably loony' into 'terrifyingly crazy'. "Ziggy," he began slowly, and a slightly crazed gaze settled on him, "Why do you even care?"

Ziggy blinked twice. Then blinked again. Blink. "Becaaaause," he whined, "I'm not the Ranger who looks cutest in-" here, he looked around warily, "…spandex," he whispered after a moment, "But I can totally be all those other things! So why can't I?!"

Now, Dillon blinked. "Wait, so if you weren't going to say yourself when that girl asked the question, who were you going to say?" A slight smirk started to grow as Dillon already knew the answer to that questi-

"Flynn, of course," Ziggy said in a 'duh' sort of tone. "Guy has arms like tree trunks, it's ridiculous!" Dillon blanched. Was Ziggy kidding? Dillon tilted his head slightly, as if that would enable him to tell if this was one of Ziggy's unfunny jokes, or if he was truly serious.

"Flynn?" Dillon asked, trying not to sound as jealous as he was feeling. Something sharp was expanding in his chest, making him feel uncomfortable in his own skin. "Flynn, really?" Dillon had never irrationally disliked anyone as much as he disliked Flynn in this moment.

"Dude, have you seen the guy lately?" Ziggy said, sounding impressed. "The guy is built." Ziggy struck a flexing pose, managing to balance awkwardly on one leg for several long seconds before crumpling to the ground. He peered up at Dillon from under too-long bangs - though Dillon would never let him cut his hair.

Not that he'd actually tell Ziggy not to cut it, but he dropped enough less-than-subtle hints about how much he appreciated the soft strands for even Ziggy to get the picture.

"Oh," Dillon replied, unsure of what to say to that. Was this some Ziggy-esque way of telling him he didn't want to do this sort-of-kind-of-dating thing anymore? That he wanted Flynn now? Dillon grimaced inwardly - Scott would probably have something to say about that if Dillon's instincts were right.

And they usually were.

Dillon turned back to his car, suddenly not feeling as well as he had been earlier today. He found himself contemplating ways of grievously injuring Flynn. They didn't really need a Blue Ranger, did they? That damned accent. They could definitely survive with four Rangers. No one would probably even notice if he bumped off Flynn one evening. Scott would eventually forgive him, Dillon supposed to himself. It would take awhile, but Dillon was willing to wait and-

Ziggy continued on like there'd been no interruption. Dillon tried to zone him out, but it was impossible. "I mean, if they'd asked who looked the best in spandex, hell, in the nude, the answer would've been you, but the girl asked cutest and that would definitely be-" Dillon cut him off, whirling around.

"I look the best?" Dillon asked, happier about this than he really should be.

Oh god, he was turning into a thirteen year old girl. Someone kill him. Kill him immediately.

Ziggy gave him a 'duh' sort of look again, the one that made Dillon want to strangle him.

"Um, hi, ever look in a mirror?" He asked, rolling his eyes. "There is a reason I go out with you." Dillon snorted in spite of himself. Ziggy flashed an unforgiving grin in his direction, looking entirely unrepentant.

"Yeah?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "That so?" Dillon took a slow step towards Ziggy, who didn't budge an inch. He slipped closer, stalking towards the shorter Ranger, who stared up at him with wide eyes, frozen.

"Mmmmm, let me check, hmmm. Yup. That's so. Definitely, definitely so," Ziggy babbled, craning his neck awkwardly to keep staring Dillon in the eyes. Dillon took pity on the shorter Ranger and hauled him in for a kiss, burying his hands in the too-long hair he liked and claiming Ziggy's lips as his own. Not Flynn's, Dillon thought fiercely, though part of him knew he was being stupid.

"So I'm hottest, in and out of uniform," Dillon breathed, once they broke apart, "Why aren't I cutest?"

It took a long moment for Ziggy's eyes to unglaze and for him to pull himself together enough to reply coherently. Dillon felt smug as he settled his arms at Ziggy's waist. "Um, duh," Ziggy said faintly, slightly distracted by the proximity of Dillon's lips to his own. "Black? So not a cute color."

There was a pause before Dillon snorted, rolled his eyes and hauled Ziggy back up for another kiss. He supposed he could live without being cute.

He was definitely still the hottest.

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fin

AN: The most recent episodes are goldmines for ficlets. Hopefully I'll be churning out a few more soon, let me know what you think.

-B