He was back.
After three whole years, he had returned.
I had been oblivious to the fact that everyone had been talking about his return months ago, only finding out recently when Charlie had mentioned it casually. I remembered dropping my fork, splattering a lot of my food over my blouse, and gazing at Charlie with widened eyes. Renesmee, my two and a half year old baby, had found my expression quite amusing, though Charlie and I were far from cracking a smile. I had feared the day when he would return from college in Dartmouth; bringing back all the pain he had caused me three years ago. Watching him walk away had been the hardest thing I had ever done. I knew Charlie wasn't ecstatic about Edward's return either.
Two months after he left, I found out I was three months pregnant. It was ironic really. I had read books, watched movies, listened to other people's stories on when that happened, when people found out they were pregnant months after their lover had left, though it was odd to experience it. Finally, a month later, my bump had become more pronounced and I knew it would be soon obvious of my condition. Telling Charlie about my pregnancy had been the second hardest thing I had ever done. I remembered the anger flash fiercely over his aging face, although it quickly evaporated and re-modelled into sympathy as he placed the pieces of the jigsaw together. After I had told Alice and Jacob, my two best friends, everything seemed to run smoothly – I had my friends and family by my side. There was only one thing missing: Edward.
I became an icon of the small town of Forks, walking around with a huge bump, an excited best friend carrying ten shopping bags around behind me. Some people were happy, especially Esme and Carlisle Cullen – Edward's parents who lived a few minutes away from the main town – who had been a huge support to me, whilst others seemed disgusted by the life growing inside of me. One of the few who were disgusted was Rosalie Hale Cullen, wife of Emmett Cullen – Edward's brother. I noticed how, especially being as huge as I was in a small town like Forks, every time I was out and about, Rosalie's eyes would follow me with a fierce stare. I knew that she hated knowing she was going to be an Aunt to my child, whether Emmet was over the moon or not, and I couldn't help but feel nervous around her. Eventually, when I raised my thoughts with Alice, I was told about how Rosalie was unable to conceive a child. I pitied her. Since the first time my baby nudged me, I had connected instantly and couldn't imagine the thought of never having her.
The nine months were over before I knew it, and I was finally able to cradle my little nudger. I had her name chosen since the moment I found out I was having a girl – Renesmee Carlie Swan Cullen. I put together mine and Edward's mother's names to form Renesmee, and joint Charlie and Carlisle together to make Carlie. Even though Jacob, who had never liked Edward, had told me not to give Renesmee Edward's last name, I felt like I had to give her some small part of her Father. Alice had agreed with me. Emmett had arrived a few hours after her birth, along with Edward's parents, however Rosalie was absent during the celebrations.
Months passed in a blur. I continued to live at home with Charlie, keeping Renesmee in my room, as I didn't have enough money to afford my own home and I wasn't quite ready yet to leave Charlie. I had pointed Alice as God Mother, Jacob as God Father. I visited Florida with Renesmee, as Renee was unable to keep her excitement about meeting her granddaughter to herself. Renesmee was visited a lot by Esme, Carlisle and Emmet. Though, every night I wondered how different it could have been if Edward was here. Soon enough it was Renesmee's first birthday, she soon said her first word – "Mama" – and slowly she began crawling then walking.
She was two years old now. Her hair mimicked Edward's beautiful bronze colour, spiralling gracefully down her back. She had adopted my deep brown orbs, framed by thick black eyelashes. Renesmee also shared mine and Edward's pale, snowy skin. She was, as near enough everyone told me, the most beautiful girl in the world. She looked so much like her Father that sometimes it hurt.
I sat up in bed, running my fingers through my tangled hair, and let out a small sigh. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide Renesmee for long, or not even be able to hide her at all. In such a small town, where everyone knew everything about anyone, there was no chance that Edward wouldn't find out. I kept trying to kid myself that he was only passing through, coming to see Esme and Carlisle, before returning back to college, though I knew it was a lie. Esme had told me how Edward had passed his courses, how he was coming back to live in Forks. He was going to live with his parents for a while whilst trying to find somewhere else to live. What was I supposed to do? Tell Esme and Carlisle that they couldn't tell their son he had a two year old daughter? I knew that was wrong. He deserved to know. Who was I to keep Edward away from his own daughter? And I knew that Emmett would probably tell him anyway.
I threw back my covers, untangling my feet from its wrath, and got to my feet. The floorboards squeaked quietly beneath my weight. I glanced at the cot in the corner, although there was no movement from beneath the small huddle of covers. I breathed a sigh of relief and tip-toed out of my room.
I lightly made my way down the stairs, grabbed my keys that were in the diaper bag lay against the sofa, and headed towards the front door. I hoped that Renesmee would stay asleep for a few more hours, at least until I came back. I jogged to my truck, not wanting to get caught up in the light rain, and shoved the key in the hole, unlocking the door to my truck. I jumped inside, ruffling my hair. I suddenly didn't want to drive, instead I decided to sit there in my truck and just think.
I had been worrying so much on how to tell Edward about Renesmee, I hadn't even given a thought to the possibility of his reaction. I had automatically expected him to accept our daughter, to become part of her life, but what if he didn't want to? What if he didn't want to be part of her life? I knew I would pretend to be ok with that, although, deep down, I knew that it would pain me to hear him say something like that. I had managed perfectly fine with Renesmee, especially as I had help from Alice, Jacob, Charlie and Esme, but I knew that I wouldn't always be enough. I knew that my daughter needed her Dad as well. Part of me wished that I had told Edward the moment I found out about my pregnancy, to save any of us from the tension or pain that was surely waiting to happen.
I lay my head on the steering wheel, closing my eyes as a sudden pain in my head made its presence known.
No one had spoken to Edward yet, only Esme and Carlisle. He had returned a few days ago; however he had mostly spent his time with his parents. I knew some people, like Jessica Stanley, was thrilled to have something to gossip about, which was why I wasn't surprised on how quick everyone had found out about his return – everyone besides me.
I felt the rain begin to thrash down heavier on the top of the car roof. The sound echoed in my head, giving me an even more irritating headache than before. I sighed and threw open the door. I jumped out, locked the door, and ran back to the house in record time. As soon I was back in the warmth of the house, and I had discarded my keys, I heard Renesmee shrieking upstairs.
Oh motherhood – how I love thee.
Authors Note: Basically, I got bored and started writing – this was the final result! I always wanted to write a proper Twilight story. I'm sorry for any errors – I'm too tired to be bothered checking them. If you like, please review as I would love to know if I should keep going! Lots of love, Beth x