I balanced Renesmee on my hip, letting her play with my hair, as I tried to clear up some of her toys in the sitting room. Every time I picked up a toy and placed it in her toy box, another seemed to appear in the same place when I looked again. Renesmee mainly stayed quiet, instead of her usual light baby babbling, watching me with her large brown eyes and wrapping my hair around her tiny fingers. Eventually, what seemed like hours later, I had cleared up most of her toys, leaving a few wooden blocks out for her to play with. I sat her down in the corner of the sofa, supporting her with a few cushions.
'I'm going now, Bells,' said Charlie.
I spun around to find Charlie hovering near the door, he held a big black duffle bag that had his fishing equipment in. He leant it against the wall and stepped across the room, sweeping Renesmee up in his arms. I watched happily as Charlie pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering his goodbye to her. I was overjoyed of how fond Charlie was of Renesmee. Obviously she was his granddaughter and he loved her, though I knew that it ran deeper than that. Charlie now often spent his fishing days with Renesmee, playing with her until she fell asleep, and he was always more than happy to babysit her if Alice or Jacob needed me.
'I'll be back later,' smiled Charlie.
I nodded and watched him leave the room, grabbing his duffel back. I turned back to check on Renesmee to find her happily watching me. I heard Charlie's cruisers pull out of the drive way and drive off down the street, leaving behind only silence. Though, Renesmee was able to break it.
'Charwie bye-bye?' she asked in her musical voice.
'Yep, he'll be back soon though,' I answered.
I continued rushing around the sitting room, darting into the kitchen on occasions, until downstairs was spotless. I had always been mature, much too mature for my age, which was why having a two year old baby at twenty wasn't as bad as it seemed. I had never been one to go out all night, go to parties like all the other teenage girls, or seek the attention of boys. When Renesmee was born, it was like I had never given up anything – except maybe a few hours sleep. And being her Mother, raising her, was like how I acted around Renee – protective, sacrificial and always loving her unconditionally. I never understood how people could give up their babies, I didn't know what I would do without Renesmee – she was such a huge part of my life, maybe my life in general, and I needed her like I needed oxygen. I realised now how being a Mother wasn't a responsibility, like actresses portrayed it on television or how authors wrote about it in their books, it was a gift.
The sudden knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts.
'Come in!' I shouted.
I hated leaving Renesmee alone, even for a second. I was an accident prone child, falling over a lot and hitting my head, and I had no intention of letting my own daughter visit the hospital as much as me. Even though Renesmee was able to walk, holding onto to objects to keep her balance, I was always paranoid around her. I guess it was a Mother's nature.
I knew by the loud footsteps clattering across the floor that it was Jacob who had came to visit. Emmett usually walked straight in, deciding he was like practically my brother and didn't need to knock, whilst Alice's footsteps were so quiet that I doubted any human would be able to her walking towards them if she wasn't in their line of sight. Jacob, however, could easily cause an earthquake with the sound of his heavy footsteps.
'How are my two favourite girls?' Jacob grinned from ear to ear.
Renesmee shrieked happily, clapping her hands together. 'Jacop! Jacop!'
I chuckled. If I thought Charlie was bonded to Renesmee, like a thick piece of rope, then it was nothing compared to the connection between Renesmee and Jacob. Jacob rarely went a day without visiting Renesmee; he either took her out for walks when I was busy – working at the Newton's sporting goods store - or coming around for dinner with Billy. I knew Renesmee enjoyed the attention – the exact opposite of me – and loved how Jacob spoiled her rottenly. I remembered getting slightly upset about Jacob's ways with Renesmee. I felt that Jacob was acting too much of a father figure to Renesmee, trying to re-fill the shoes of Edward. I knew that Jacob was playing the faithful best friend/God Father, exactly like Alice was, although I couldn't always help wonder if Jacob preferred Edward out of the picture. Too busy stewing in my own thoughts, I hadn't realised Jacob had been talking to me.
'Sorry, what?' I asked.
Jacob rolled his eyes, bouncing Renesmee playfully on his knee. 'I asked if you had seen him yet.'
Knowing Jacob as well as I did, I guess I should have seen that coming. I knew that Jacob would never accept the fact that Edward was back, he would always try to fight it in his mind, because I knew that he imagined him, Renesmee and me as one happy family, whether anyone told him otherwise or not. Jacob wasn't happy knowing that he could get pushed out of the picture if Edward decided to be in Renesmee's life. But didn't Edward deserve to be in Renesmee's life as much as Jacob? Or more? After all, she was his daughter.
'No, Jake, not yet.'
'Are you going to go and see him?'
'What? Are we playing twenty questions?' I snapped.
I kicked myself instantly for snapping at him. I wanted to be able to act calm around the subject of Edward's return; I wanted to be able to talk coolly about him without letting myself show how evident it was that I wasn't fine with his return. I didn't understand why I felt so unsure about him coming back, maybe I expected him to pack up and leave again in another few months. Even though I desperately wanted him back, wanted him back in my arms, back into my life, to be the father Renesmee deserved, I was completely and utterly unsure about it. I didn't want Renesmee to grow too attached in case he did leave again. I didn't want Edward to feel the need that he had to be a father to Renesmee. I wished that he had never left for stupid college. I wished that I had never been so unselfish as to not ring him straight away when I found out I was pregnant. I wish there had been a way for me to contact him if I had been selfish. I wished that, no matter what, Renesmee would go through these change of events without any pain or suffering. I didn't need her to feel the gaping hole of loss ruin her healthy heart as Edward's departure did to mine.
'I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to nag,' apologised Jacob, frowning slightly.
I sighed. 'No, Jake, it was me – I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in this … situation. I guess we'll just have to see.'
Jacob nodded, not pressing on any further, and turned his attention back to Renesmee.
I took a seat opposite them in the armchair, resting my head against the back and shutting my eyes, trying to ignore the constant throbbing pain in my head. Before I knew it, I had let the exhaustion take over. I curled up into a peaceful slumber.
I groaned as I felt someone's cold hand stroke my face. My eyes fluttered open. The room was blurry to my eyes, and I didn't need to wait for my eyes to adjust to the light as it was rather dull. I sat up, groaning again when a fierce pain shot down my back, and looked up groggily to see Alice stood by the armchair, a pleasant smile over her beautiful face.
'About time! I thought you were dead, I was wondering if I should perform CPR,' Alice grinned, gracefully sitting down on the sofa.
I peered around the room, running my fingers through my hair. I realised with a quick jolt the two people missing from the sitting room.
'Jacob took her to La Push beach for a while,' answered Alice.
I nodded. Alice had this unusual habit of knowing what you were going to say before you said it. She was always able to cut me off half sentence and still give me the answer I was looking for. I relied on Alice much more than I should – I couldn't think of a better best friend to have. Alice was a bubbly person, a little shopping crazy, and one of the few people who I could truly rely on. I had met her in High School, where I had also met Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper, and we clicked instantly. Alice had been the first person to know I was pregnant. Ever since I had told her, she never left my side, helping me every step of the way. Then, after Renesmee was born, she helped me through the sleepless nights – she stayed over and let me sleep whilst she watched Renesmee. I didn't know what I would do without Alice.
'He figured it was safer taking her down to La Push than around town,' she added, nodding her head in agreement.
I cocked my head to the side, not fully understanding what she meant. My eyes fell upon the two bags leant against the sofa. I guessed that Alice had been shopping – it was rare to see her without a shopping bag – and, judging by the clothes I could see through the material of the bag, I guessed that she had bought Renesmee a few new pairs of clothes.
'Erm, why?' I asked stupidly.
The exhaustion was clouding my thoughts; I was unable to think clearly, resulting in the stupidly asked question. Alice smiled, flashing her bright white teeth, before her face turned serious again.
'Because Edward doesn't go down La Push, does he? And Jacob wasn't really keen on running in to him when he had Renesmee.'
I understood now. Jacob wouldn't have held much patience with Edward, especially as Jacob could have a bad temper. I knew how much Jacob despised Edward – for leaving me mostly. And how would Jacob have explained to Edward about the child who looked a spitting image of him? Anyone could see who Renesmee's Father was – she possessed Edward's beauty. The bronze ringlets were also rather familiar. I guess that I could understand why Jacob wouldn't want to say anything before speaking to me first; he had seen how I reacted before when he kept questioning me about Edward.
'What are you going to do, Bella?' sighed Alice, scanning my face with her golden eyes.
What was I going to do? To most people, the answer would be so simple. Tell Edward about Renesmee. But I didn't want to drag Edward into a responsibility that he could easily refuse. Besides worrying that he would leave again, I didn't know if I would be able to handle listening to Edward telling me that he didn't want to take on his role as a Father. And, even if he did want to step into the Father shoes, who was I to cut off so many opportunities in his life? What if he had wanted to go away to University, but was now held back here by his responsibilities? How selfish could I be? On the other hand, who was I to stop Renesmee from having her Father back? It was a hard choice to pick.
Three hearts, two choices, one final decision.
'I'm not sure,' I frowned.
Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, and who added it on story alert & added it to your favourites. This is my first proper Twilight fic and I hope you all enjoy. I own nothing of this world – only the legendary Twilight Saga books written by Stephenie Meyer … to who this magical world and characters belong to. x