AN: Soooooo here is my first fanfiction ever! :D I'm so nervous right now! Anyways, since this is my first fic please be gentle with the comment review thingies! Constructive critism is always welcome, especially since I don't have a beta aaaaand though I did spell check and read over this many, many times I epically FAIL at grammar! I also tend to have a great deal of run on sentences. . .oh the shame.

The idea of this story just kinda came to me one night while I was dreaming.... after you read the story you are probably going to question the sorts of things I dream about. . . D8 I don't know if anyone has done this idea before, but I wouldn't be suprised if someone has. That said I'm not trying to steal your idea, I'm just fairly new to -man (why do people call it this??? and why am I calling it that if it bugs me?!) anyways I'm new and have yet to see this done, and if it has been done... well this is just my take on the idea.

Warnings: This fic is going to be Yullen and it will probably be only 2 maaaaybe 3 chapters long. Maybe. This story also contains gratuitos amounts of swearing in the second chapter courtesy of Kanda. It also contains my failed attempts at humor.

Disclaimer: BAHAHAHAAHAHAH AS IF! *ahem* man and all its characters are (c) of Katsura Hoshino. . . . If I owned it Yullen would be canon, Kanda would never wear a shirt, and it would only be sold to audiences 18 and older. .



Allen Walker smiled merrily as he made his way from his room to the cafeteria, the sweet aroma of Jerry's cooking already filling his senses, as he decided in his mind what he would order today. Allen was in a particularly good mood today, as he smiled and said good morning to some of the finders he happened to pass by on his way, he couldn't help but notice that everyone seemed to be in a rather pleasant mood. Finally reaching his destination without managing to get lost....more then twice, he instantly bolted to the counter where Jerry was eagerly waiting to take his order. While waiting for his order to finish the cursed boy heard his name being called and looked over towards a table to see Linali, Lavi, and off at the other end of the table Kanda. Allen happily called back and was about to wave when the smell of his meal beckoned him to turn around, drool already threatening to fall from his opened mouth. Quickly saying thank you to Jerry, Allen made his way to his friends as he balanced his precariously perched plates of food in his two arms.

Finally making it to his destination the white haired boy gently placed his food down and said a hasty but proper good morning, before he began to devour his food at a pace not quite human. Although Allen had nearly 10 times as much food as the other three put together he still managed to finish before any of them were done. Once Allen's feeding frenzy was done they all sat in relative silence aside from the quiet murmurs coming from around them and the varying sounds one hears in a cafeteria such as forks gently scraping plates, or even people chewing. None of them moved, all quite content in the stillness and quiet, all except one. Though it was hardly noticeable at first Lavi's eye began to twitch, just a little twitch but a twitch none the less. Soon however this once small twitch became rather large and noticeable, so noticeable in fact that it caught his entire company's attention. As each of them gave him their own signature looks of perplexity; Allen's being a slight tilt of his head with an innocent and curious face, Linali's a quirk of one delicate eyebrow and a slightly unnerved smile, and finally Kanda who simply stared at Lavi looking only slightly disturbed with the abnormal and more then likely unhealthy twitching and looking almost entirely pissed that this moron had the nerve to twitch in his presence. Finally, right as Allen had opened his mouth ready to question Lavi on just why his eye was convulsing, Lavi let out a loud, strangled yell,

"I CAN'T TAKE IT!! ALL THIS SILENCE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Everyone in the cafeteria was shocked, various people even falling from their seats at the sudden and completely random outburst.

Silence filled the entire cafeteria then, you couldn't even hear a single person breathe. However someone must always break the silence and so Kanda did just that.

"Baka usagi..." was the first thing to be heard after the outburst, the second was the sound of a vein promptly popping in Kanda's forehead, and the third was the simultaneous sound of mugen being unsheathed and Lavi releasing a rather feminine scream he would most definitely deny later.

After finally managing to calm the infuriated Japanese teen down, and get him to put his precious mugen back in it's hilt, Allen sat back down on the table's bench with a thud. 'Well the day started peaceful at least,' thought Allen as he heaved a rather uncharacteristically large sigh. The white haired teen looked over at Lavi who was no longer twitching but looked incredibly bored. Lavi looked up catching Allen's stare and shot him a half hearted grin, which the British boy quickly returned, as he ran a hand through his white hair. And that was the end of it. The true end of the peaceful day had come, with just that one gesture, and Allen didn't even know it, not yet at least.

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A dark cold aura suddenly fell upon the cafeteria, like a thick gray fog. The redheaded bookman's single visible eye glinted dangerously as he fixed his gaze on Allen. The aforementioned moyashi instantly paled and gulped nervously. He could see the gears in Lavi's mind were spinning quickly coming up with some dastardly thought, that Allen knew from sheer instinct he didn't actually want to know about. Within a second Allen's mind began coming up with possible escape plans and weighing their probability at being successful. He could always jump up onto the table, then grab onto the small light fixture just above it and swing himself to the next lights over until he finally reached the table about three tables down, that had a small adjacent window just above it, then he could climb through the window to his escape. No, wait that wouldn't work he wouldn't be able to reach the light fixture even if he jumped as high as he possibly could well still on the table. Damn. Well he could always pretend to randomly choke on air or have a migraine and pass out. No, he couldn't do that either because Linali would be too worried about him and that wouldn't be fair to her. OR! He could try running around in circles like a mad man, yelling random things like the name of various shampoo companies. That would definitely take Lavi's mind off of whatever this was...but only for a moment, and BaKanda would never let him live it down.... No, that would be a lose, lose situatio-

"Ne, Moyashi-chan..."

Unfortunately Allen's thoughts were cut short as Lavi had finished his thought process and had called out to him. He had run out of time. He was a dead man now. Allen begrudgingly turned his head to face Lavi once more, and was met with a disturbing sight. Lavi's face appeared completely normal. From experience the British boy knew that this was one of the worst possible signs, whatever thought that Lavi had, had was obviously truly horrid. The bookman jr. only ever acted like nothing was wrong when he was about to say or do something that had the potential to be emotionally crippling. He would act normal in an attempt to calm down and lower the guards of his victim. Allen swallowed thickly and took several, what he hoped were unnoticeable, deep breaths.

"Y-yes, Lavi?" Allen finally stuttered out, daring to look around the table at his other friends, to gage their reactions and check to see if he was just perhaps overreacting. He looked first to Linanli who had looked away in what he assumed was a mixture of respect for the dead (or soon to be) and dread. That definitely wasn't a good sign, Allen thought as he quickly placed his gaze on Kanda. However if he thought that Linali's reaction seemed bad it was nothing in comparison to this. Bakanda's face truly frightened him, normally Kanda had his face set to his neutral mode of pissed off and very rarely showed any emotion but that, however at this particular moment the Japanese boy's face seemed wiped clean of any emotion. But then there were his eyes, which were widened really only a millimetre or so more then usual but Allen instantly noticed, not even bothering to question how he knew the rather stalkerish information about Kanda's regular eye size. Now thoroughly afraid Allen began emotionally preparing for whatever was about to come.

"I was just wondering...." Lavi started off, a mischievous grin now plastered to his face.

"Well, I was just thinking that...well you never go into the baths well anyone else is there, probably because you're shy of your arm I guess, so nobody really knows.....but I was just sorta curious since you see...well, Allen, your hair is white." Lavi finished off lamely leaving the statement hanging in the air. Allen knew what the bunny wanted, he wanted Allen to play along and ask what exactly Lavi wanted to know, because that way it would be a bit more fun then just coming right out and saying whatever it was he had thought of. The phrase curiousity killed the cat had never been more true as Allen couldn't help but wonder where this was going, and since he figured Lavi would ask anyway he figured he might as well get it over with as soon as possible and just give in.

"Yeah, my hair is white, s-so....?" Allen trailed off still wondering what his hair colour could have to do with anything. Lavi smiled devilishly now, ready to release the final blow.

"Well, if the hair on your head is white.... what about the hair on the rest of your body?" During the sentence Lavi gestured with his hands down his body and at the word 'rest' he pointed not so subtly at his crotch.


AN: I love that the last line of my first ever fanfics chapter is 'crotch' it's pretty epic. Also the part where Allen considers running around in circles screaming out shampoo company names, I actually dreamt of that but in my dream there was this really spazztic techno music playing and there were strobe lights. . .o.O" . . .yaaaaah I'm fairly positive I need therapy. Anyhoooooos I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll update as soon as I can. Leave a review if ya feel like it, it would be very appreciated.

~byes