R&R, I don't own Twilight!


It was late morning when Edward was spying on Bella again. This time, she was hanging with his enemy, Jacob. He hid on the roof of the outlet store, where below, he could see the two hugging.

"Curse you, Jacob." he growled, "CURSE YOUUUUUU!"

While yelling in anger, he tripped and fell before luckily being caught by the strong Jacob.

"Edward! What are you doing?" an embarrassed Bella shrieked.

"What are you doing?" he argued back, jumping out of a dumbfounded Jacob's arms. "I turn away for fifty minutes and see you with doggie boy?"

"Doggie boy, here, was helping me carry my Christmas present for you!" she said pointing to a ruined-looking package lying on the ground.

"Oh." he realized. "Did you get me anything good?"

"Edward, I'm tired of this! We-are-through!"

"NOOOO!" he fell on his knees, screaming to the sky.

"YESSSS!" Jacob cheered with joy.

"We're through too since you had to catch him."

She turned and marched off, leaving the two stupefied.

"Unbelievable! I didn't even do anything wrong."

"She will pay..." Edward said, fiercely clutching his fists.

"Wait," Jacob said suddenly, "I have the perfect plan for revenge..."


Later at Burger King, Bella and Alice were eating lunch. Poor Alice had to listen to Bella's emotional feelings about her breaking up.

"I can't believe it after a year..." she sobbed using a greasy napkin to wipe her nose. "I had to do something, but I already miss them!"

"Yeah," a bored Alice yawned, "B-R-B." Getting up, she turned towards the bathroom leaving.

Before Bella could wipe her nose again, a door came flying right by her side.

"Victoria!" she gasped, turning to the doorway where the evil feminine vampire was.

"I'm back!" she cackled disturbingly.

Bella caught notice of a window smashed to pieces thanks to the door. Desperate, she jumped out and landed in a dumpster, the top door slamming shut on her. Victoria jumped through the hole, calmly lifting up the dumpster and threw it. With a loud thud, it landed on top of BK next to Edward and Jacob who had been plotting.

"Bella! Is that you?" Edward asked, recognizing the familiar shriek.

"Yes, get me out of here!" she yelped.

"Why should we?" Jacob asked smugly, crossing his arms.

"Because Victoria is about to kill me!" she said worriedly, able to hear Victoria climb on top of the fast food resturaunt.

"Well, it wasn't nice how you ditched us." Edward said with an evil grin. "Maybe we can arrange a truce..."

"Edward, you're sick! Can you just help-" Victoria appeared, grabbing and swinging the dumpster.

"-MEEEEEEEEE!" With a loud BOOM, the dumpster landed in the middle of the street. She lay in a lump on top of the rusty and sharp pieces of junk. "He....lp.."

"Nope!" Jacob said smartly. Both him and Edward took out a Game Boy link cable and began to obnoxiously play Kirby. "You said you were through with us."

Victoria flew off the roof and onto the dumpster with a loud BANG that rang in Bella's ears. She threw the lid off revealing the paralyzed girl.

"DEAR GOD!" she screamed as she was picked up and raised in the air. "SOMEBODY HELP!"

"Maybe we should," Edward said slamming his finger on the buttons. "But what would we get in return?"

"My love!" she wailed reluctantly as Victoria opened her mouth. "F-for both of you....equally.."

With a nod to each other, both boys stood up and leaped forward from the roof, crashing into Bella and Victoria. Jacob transformed while rolling on the ground with Victoria into a dark alley way while Edward protected Bella. After a while, he came out. "I think she's dead." he sighed.

"Thanks, guys." the relieved Bella said.

"No prob, I'll always be there to protect you!" announced Edward looking proud.

"Me too!" Jacob added defensively.

"Freaks." Bella sighed. She put her arms around both of them and they walked off.



Edward becomes a tech-no dancer

Bella was finally bitten but right after she became bald of cancer

Jacob became a dog trainer

Alice had to go to a shrink because Bella wouldn't stop going on about her emotions

Victoria had faked her death and searches for her next victim: George Bush


Well, I'd say everything in the future was expected to happen! Beside the whole techno-dancer thing. I just wanted to give Edward something funny and random...