As the description says-SASUKE MUST DEFEND HIS TITLE! I don't own Naruto, R&R, blah blah blah. Oh yeah, this is after the chuunin exams

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It was the usual, typical, normal, quiet, and pleasant day in the Leaf Village. Odd, because it was never like that. For some reason, Naruto wasn't causing any mischief. Sasuke was sitting in a tree, pondering about life like he always did. When a certain blonde ninja in an orange jump-suit came walking along gleefully. Sasuke looked up, noticing how he seemed much more happy than usual.

"What are you smiling about?"

"HA-HA, YOU'RE JEALOUS!" Naruto cried from no where.

"Since when have I been jealous of you?"

"You're about too! Because there is something I can beat you IN!"

The Uchiha gave a smirk. He thought, 'everyone knows that I can do ANYTHING better than Naruto. Heck, my VOICE is better than his. He sounds like a monkey on drugs...'

"I...can be NICER to people!" the blonde exclaimed.

A blank expression came upon Sasuke's face, "......What?"

"It's true! No matter how much they beat me up, I'm still nicer to them more than YOU! HA! IN YOUR FACE, YOU GOT OWNED!"

"......What did you say?"

"I'm saying that I can actually beat you in something, and too prove, I'll rub it off RIGHT NOW!"

".....Nobody......NOBODY IS BETTER THAN ME."

"We'll see about that!" Naruto laughed as he turned to walk away when he felt his body thrown and tossed to the ground. Sasuke was standing up, steaming mad.

"What in the-?" Naruto said, noticing how his rival was twitching.

"You...will...never...be better than me...I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT!!!"

"Heh, I bet so!" Naruto said, standing up. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go treat Sakura as a human, and actually 'smile'!" Naruto went and ran off.

"NOT IF I DO FIRST, HIPPIE!" Sasuke roared chasing after him. He took off at the speed of lightning.

"You'll never catch up with me, Mr. Emo!"

"YOU'RE TOO CONFIDENT, YA SQUINTY-EYED FREAK!"

"Wow, Sasuke's NEVER like this! I find it very funny, more than the time I watched Choji choked on pudding!"

"YEAH, WELL-wait...he choked on pudding? I know he eats too much, BUT HOW DO YOU CHOKE ON PUDDING?"

"No idea-maybe the same way how you crash into a tree?"

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO DO WITH ANY-" A loud smacking thud came as Sasuke slammed face first into the tree.

"SUCKED IN, loser-RAHHH!" Naruto gave a scream as he tripped over a dead cat. Sasuke jumped over him,

"See ya-" but then fell into a well. Akamaru was standing right next it with a startled Kiba. Naruto triumphantly hurried past them.

"Akamaru! Timmy fell in the well! Go save him!"

"MY NAME'S NOT TIMMY!" Sasuke jumped out, chasing after his competitor. "Get back here, you will NEVER defeat me!"

"Even if you could get to Sakura first, I bet you couldn't even smile to her!"

"Take that back!" In an attempt, he used his fire technique spewing flames at the fellow Ninja, who dodged to the side.

"You missed me!"

"Then since when did your hair normally go up in flames?"

"Huh?" A burning sensations came toward his forehead, "I'M ON FIRE! DEAR GOD!" he fell over rolling around, Sasuke running past him. "Shadow clone jutsu!"

Several Naruto's jumped up at Sasuke. "Get away from-AH-don't touch there!" Naruto himself was rolling past the Uchiha. He suddenly was stopped by a foot, and looked up to see Ino. "Naruto! What do you think your doing this time!?"

"Move you skank! I gotta beat-" He was suddenly lifted up by the neck, a kunai held close.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Um-I mean-uh-?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, NARUTO!" Sasuke had broken free and was now coming behind him. He stopped dead at the familiar face. "Oh hell no..."

"SASUKE-CHAN!!!" Ino threw Naruto aside, hurtling herself at Sasuke before he could run. Naruto ran far away, hearing the trapped boy from a distance, "NOOOOOooooooo...ooo..oo!"

"Sure glad that I'm not the emo-pretty boy-" Clouds suddenly surrounded him, causing Naruto to trip. He look at himself to see he was-Sasuke!? The real Sasuke came running by, "Guess again, 'pretty boy!' MWAHAHAHAH!"

"SASUKE-CHAN, I'M COMING FOR YOU!" Ino jumped from no where, falling onto poor Naruto.

"NO! GET AWAY! I'M NOT SASUKE!" He threw a punch at her face before she could've become rabid, and ran off. With a 'poof', he became Naruto again. They were getting close to Sakura's.

"I'LL never let you beat me, Naruto!"

"Why not!?"

"Because if you beat me in something, then that would make you the EMO one, and me the village idiot!"

"WHATTTT?" Naruto was caught off guard speechless as he skidded toward a trash can, accidently falling in it. The can rolled over, and down the hill where it crashed into Sasuke. He managed to jump onto the can, leading him down the hill where he had to maintain balance. Villagers jumped out the way, most being injured.

"QUIT IT NARUTO, WE'RE INJURING EVERYBODY!"

"IF I WANTED TO HURT SOME PEOPLE AT A FAST PACE, THEN I'D BE PLAYING MIDNIGHT CLUB NOW!"

As they continued down over screaming bystanders, Sasuke saw one of whom would be the victims-

"SAKURA! GET OUTTA THE WAY!"

"Huh?" The pink-haired girl noticed him, "Sasuke?"

She was cut off as both the trapped Naruto and Sasuke were hurled at her. They flew high in the sky, almost like rockets, before eventually crashing through the roof of Kakashi Sensei.

"WHAT IN HOKAGE'S NAME IS GOING ON!?" He cried, recognizing his familiar team of ninjas who were now lying on his kitchen table next to the bowl of cheerios. Naruto delioursly looked up.

"TeLl OrOcHiMaRu To Do tHaT sNaKe ThInG...iT's ReAlLy CoOl..." He fainted. Sakura managed to sit up dizzily, and Sasuke noticed her and held her hand, saying in a fast pace.

"SAKURA, I-WANT-TO-TELL-YOU-HOW-NICE, STRONG, AND-PRETTY-YOU-ARE-BECAUSE-YOU'VE-ALWAYS-BEEN-AND-I-LOVE-YOU-FOR-THAT!!" With his teeth gritted together and his pupils dilated in exhaustion, Sasuke made the parts of his cheeks go up a bit in a scary, disturbing, and life-scarring smile.

Sakura was blushing. "Sasuke...that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!"

"YES!!!! I WIN, NARUTO! TOUCH DOWN!!!!"

"But not as nice as Lee."

"YEAH-wait....what?" A familiar, green/orange suited ninja appeared.

"Hey, Sasuke! Didn't Sakura tell you? She's found better men then you!" Putting an arm around Sakura, they both walked off. Sasuke was standing there, not moving. Kakashi spoke, "Um...at least you beat Naruto....you ok?"

"I...can't...move my mouth..."

THE END

FUTURE

Sasuke could never stop smiling from the shock of having actually smiled.

Naruto became one of those people who stayed home 24/7, playing Midnight Club.

Sakura and Lee married, her husband persuading her to get a similar Beatle's hair-cut.

Kiba got rabies from Akamaru

Choji had a stroke from choking on too much pudding(?)

Ino had damage to her brain from the blow, thinking everyone around her was Sasuke

Kakashi changed his breakfast cereal to HONEY-NUT cheerios.

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HOORAY! SASUKE ACTUALLY SMILED. BUT CAN'T STOP. OH WELL!