My Own Worse Enemy
Author's Note: This little ficlet was suppose to be a drabble, but ended up a little longer than that, hehe. Also, this is officially the first thing that I have written that is not rated M! Yay me! Well, enough of my rambling for now, onto the fic!
The distant call of a shore bird broke the young brunet out of his thoughts as he lay in the warm sand, staring up at the pale blue sky. As usual, there wasn't a cloud in sight in the vast openness. The white sands of the long beach just about swallowed the teen in her warm embrace, keeping him in limbo between slumber and alertness. These islands hadn't changed in the past two and a half years since he had first left them and most likely never would. And that did not bode well for the relaxed teen.
The pale blue sky was so calming, reminding him of the pale blue eyes of another. Those eyes. So bright and full of expression, it was amazing that Sora was ever able to look away and not be lost in those depths for eternity. But that would never be allowed. No matter how deep their feelings for one another ran, they would never be permitted to be together. After all, it was impossible.
"Sora!" a loud cry startled the teen into a sitting position, instantly causing his fantasy world to evaporate. Oh well, those thoughts would return as soon as he was alone again. Looking around for the familiar voice, the teen was not surprised at all to find his best friend waving to him from Swordsman Island. Today, Riku had his long silver hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail, the bright sun giving it a silvery glow. A yellow fitted tee paired with blue and black board shorts and black flip flops, along with the slight wetness that covered his body gave away that the older youth had probably been surfing again, something that he had taken up after their return from the dark realm.
Sending a goofy grin over to his friend, Sora stood up, brushing the sand off of his own red shorts. His short sleeved black hoodie was only zippered up halfway, revealing his tanned chest. Walking into the water, a nice cool respite from the blazing sun, Sora swam towards Riku's position, ignoring the fact that his own sandals were still half buried in the sand over on the shore. The short distance was covered quickly and the brunet debated calling Riku down into the water. A foreboding sensation ran through the younger teen as he grabbed the bottom rung of the ladder. He hoped that Riku really only wanted a friendly conversation with his friend, though lately, that was never the case.
In fact, a lot of the time, their conversations ended with a frustrated Sora storming off, not talking to his best friend for days. Really, Riku needed to learn to stop sticking his nose into others people's business. Sora was getting sick of it. Why couldn't Riku just let Sora live his own life. As the thought ran through his head, Sora hadn't noticed that he had climbed all the way up the ladder and was now walking over to wear Riku was leaning against the paopu tree.
"Hey, Riku. How was the surf today?" the brunet asked his friend, a large smile plastered on his face, hoping that today their conversation wouldn't go the was as of late.
Riku was sitting on top of the paopu tree, his long legs stretched out along the trunk, just relaxing in the warm afternoon sun. As soon as Sora came onto the small island, the older teen's gaze was drawn over to where his best friend had just arrived. "Good. Listen, is there anything that has been bothering you? You've been so distant lately." Sora stopped dead in his tracks, not wanting to have this conversation with his friend yet again.
The smile instantly dropped off the brunet's face as he stood there, arms stationary at his side, hands clenched tightly. It was strange not feeling the creak of leather against his palms, but even without that, it didn't quell the feeling of anger that he felt rising up inside of his body. And the tight pull at his heart was hard for Sora to ignore the want to bring his keyblade out. With every ounce of his will power to suppress the sensation, Sora just squeezed his hands tighter. Trying to pretend that there was nothing wrong, Sora cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean, Riku?"
The older teen just let out a sigh and motioned for Sora to come closer to the tree. Not wanting to anger his fellow keyblade master, Sora complied, walking over to the bent trunk and his best friend. "Sora, both Kairi and I have talked about this, and we are worried about you. You just seem to be pulling away from everyone. We want you to know that no matter what, you are still our friend."
It was now Sora's turn to sigh. "Riku. I've told you a million times. I don't care that you and Kairi are together now. I'm really happy for you." The brunet stressed, wanting Riku to just drop it already. Sora wasn't really sure how much longer he would be able to go without breaking down and spilling everything. He was being completely truthful with his words. When Riku and Kairi came to him just after their return from the darkness, asking for his blessing to be together, he eagerly gave it to them, happy that they were able to find those feelings for one another. Riku really didn't know what was going on.
"Then what is going on? You've been spending way too much on your own, and you're hiding something from us. We just want to know what we can do to help you Sora." Riku's voice held nothing but compassion for his friend, and it really made Sora feel bad. He knew that his friends were worried. But how could they help him if he couldn't even help himself.
Sora was silent, looking out to the rolling ocean waves. What good would telling Riku about everything do? It wasn't like Riku had a solution to his problem. Or Kairi for that matter. Or would they? After all, Kairi was probably the only one who could relate to his situation in a way. But does that mean that they would help him? They were his friends, but would they understand? Or would they shun him and think less of him once they found out? Because Sora couldn't handle something like that. If he was honest, the thought of his friend reactions was probably the reason for not going to them sooner. "Will you promise to hear me out?" the brunet whispered, sliding down the base of the tree to sit on the sand. Maybe he had been keeping this inside for way too long.
Riku almost gasped when he heard Sora's agreement to talk about the issue. He had been expecting a punch, followed by Sora storming off yet again. And if silence from him was all it was going to take to find out what was bothering his best friend, then he would gladly offer it. "Of course."
Letting out a deep breath, but nit turning to face his friend, Sora placed a hand over his heart, trying to think of the best way to tell Riku about everything. "It's Roxas."
Raising a single eyebrow, Riku looked down at his best friend, noticing the forlorn look on the brunet's face. "What about him? Is he acting up? Kairi hasn't mentioned anything about Naminé doing anything."
Sora stopped his words again, trying to think of exactly what to say. Taking in several breaths as false starts, it was several minutes before the brunet finally decided on how to ask his question. "Can Kairi and Naminé still separate at will? Or are they finding it harder and harder to do so?"
This time, it was Riku's turn to be silent while he processed the information. "I think the longer that they go, the harder and more painful it is for them to separate. But I can't remember when the last time that they fully separated was. Why? Are you having problems with Roxas?"
The brunet just shook his head. "No. I was just wondering. I can separate from Roxas really easy actually. But it still doesn't let him take on a completely physical form." Letting out a deep sigh, Sora tried not to allow his emotions to take over everything. Because he knew that if he did, things might not ever be the same.
"But he has never been able to take on a completely physical form? Doesn't he always appear slightly transparent? How often are you calling him out?" Riku was starting to worry about where Sora was going with this. If Sora was bringing Roxas out of his heart so often, it really couldn't be good. Sora didn't answer, just kind of looked down at his feet. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk about this with Riku after all. "Sora? Why are you calling him out so often anyway?" Of course Riku would interpret the silence as the truth. That's what happens when you know someone your whole life.
"Its complicated." The younger teen answered, a slight waver to his voice as he fisted the material over his heart. He could feel the stirring of his Nobody deep within his soul, wanting to be released and probably wanting to get his opinion in on this conversation.
"Complicated as in how, Sora?" Riku's voice was harsh and it caused the brunet to wince. "Separating from him too often can not be good for your heart."
"You won't understand." Growled the brunet, his voice not his own. Sapphire eyes went wide as he looked up at his best friend, a look of pure shock plastered on the silver haired teens face. Did that really just happen? "Riku! I'm so sorry! I didn't think that Roxas was able to talk though me! You have to believe me." The pleading caused another raised eyebrow from the older teen. This was starting to get interesting. But if the Nobody was able to use Sora like that, it couldn't be good. After all, no matter who their other was, a Nobody was still a part of the darkness.
Reaching up and using a single hand to massage his forehead, Riku knew that his next words were going to hurt his best friend and he had to be prepared for that, no matter how much he really didn't want to. "Sora, you are going to have to start suppressing him. The fact that he is able to control you, even if only briefly, is not a good thing."
"No!" Cried Sora, but instead of being an angry cry, it was a desperate one. "Please, Riku. Not that! Anything but that. I could never do that. Please don't make me do that. I can't suppress him, I can't lose him!" the desperation in Sora's voice completely took Riku by surprise. Why was his best friend acting in such a way? Sliding off of his perch, Riku knelt in front of his fellow keyblade master, gripping onto quivering shoulders, forcing the younger teen to look into his eyes. Tears were welling up in the corners of his eyes, and those shining orbs were filled with an emotion that Riku rarely ever saw there. Fear.
"Sora. What is going on between you and Roxas?" demanded Riku, needing to know exactly what was causing Sora to act this way. And if Roxas was causing trouble, then as a keyblade master, it was Riku's duty to deal with it.
"I…" Sora trailed off, using his free hand to wipe away his tears. Honestly he couldn't believe how upset he was getting over this. But what was Riku thinking about this? And what would he think once he knew the truth. "Roxas…"
"Sora. Just spit it out. I'm not going to judge you. I'm only trying to help. You have to tell me anything that Roxas is doing to hurt you or take control of you. We need to stop him from spreading the darkness." squeezing the brunet's shoulders again in reassurance, the elder teen tried to convey the caring he felt to his friend.
"He's not hurting me. And he's not involved in the darkness anymore." Muttered Sora. He turned his head away from Riku, unable to look into those deep eyes.
"Then what is going on?" there was a long silence before Sora whispered something, but it was too fast and too quiet for Riku to understand. "What? I didn't catch that."
"I said I love him!" Sora cried out, tears quickly spilling down his flushed cheeks. The force of his proclamation was enough to send Riku flying back to land on his ass. The silver haired teen just stared at his best friend, his mouth hanging open in shock. Of all the things that Sora could have said, that certainly was the last thing that he had been expecting.
"Wh...What did you say?" whispered Riku, noting moving from where he now sat on the sand. Maybe his ears were still plugged with seawater, but he could have sworn that he had heard Sora say that he was in love with his nobody.
Wiping away the free falling once again, Sora sniffled loudly before repeating himself. "I said that I am in love with Roxas." Answered the brunet, his voice still at the level of a whisper, but this time he knew that Riku had heard him.
"Don't say it!" growled the brunet, hands slamming over his mouth when he heard that foreign voice leaving his lips once again. "Riku, please. I know that everything that we have learned told us that Nobodies don't have hearts and emotions, but I know that Roxas returns my feelings, and it isn't an echo or fake emotions or a shadow." The younger teen's voice was muffled from his hands, but he needed to get it out.
Riku just sat there, mouth agape, looking at his best friend. He couldn't believe what Sora had just said. "How?" he questioned in disbelief.
"I don't know. He just started appearing in my dreams, and I was getting strange memories that weren't my own, and then I discovered that separating from him was really easy. So whenever I was alone, or feeling depressed, he would just come out. I didn't even need to ask him to. He just kind of did. We ended up spending a lot of time together, and well, you know." The slight grin that appeared on Sora's face was wistful, and Riku suddenly knew that his best friend was telling the complete truth. Sora was in love with Roxas.
Once again the brunet cut the older teen off. "My Nobody. I know. He's part of me. But he is still his own being. He has his own emotions and feelings."
Riku didn't really know what to say to Sora's confession. It wasn't the thought of two men together that bothered him, after all, in all the other worlds that they have visited it wouldn't have been the first time he saw it. But the thought of his best friend being in love with a nobody, and not just any nobody, but his own nobody, it couldn't be a good thing. There was no way at all that this could work out for the better. "And how often do you see him? And how do you think that this will last? You can't exist without Roxas. And he can't exist without you." Riku knew that his words were going to hurt Sora. But honestly, what else could he say? This couldn't be healthy. And if this was the only way to get through to him, so be it.
Sora's face morphed from the whimsical smile into a look of pure shock. How could his best friend be saying these types of things? "Riku? What are you trying to say?"
The sliver haired teen then let out a heavy sigh. He hated doing this just as much as Sora did. But if he didn't tell the brunet, who would? "You and Roxas are essentially the same person. It would be sort of like me falling in love with that Replica clone thing from Castle Oblivion. I know that you both have your own personalities and all that, but you still share a heart, and a body. Let's face it. Loving him is just a tad bit narcissistic, isn't it? And whatever you do with him physically would just technically be some sort of complex masturbation."
"Why are you being such an ass, Riku?" Sora growled, two voices stating the same thing, and this time the brunet didn't even attempt to hide it. But the elder teen could have sworn that he saw a flash of blond spikes as the words were said. He didn't really want Roxas to get involve. That might make things even worse than they already were.
"Sora. If you and Roxas ever want to be seriously together, you would have to die to allow him the chance of having a real body. So what good would that do? Sora, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to look out for you. As if right now, there is no way for you to be truly together. I'm just trying to help you realize that you will only get hurt and I am only trying to make sure that you aren't too far gone when you discover that loving Roxas could only end in heartbreak." Each word that left his lips left a nasty taste in the silver haired teen's mouth and a sharp pain in his chest. His best friend probably hated him now for sure.
Sora just sat there silently, large tears falling down both flushed cheeks. He couldn't believe that Riku was saying things like that. Of all the people, he thought that Riku would be the only one who would understand him. But he wasn't being understanding at all. He really didn't get what Sora felt for Roxas, and the feelings that Roxas returned. "But I love him."
"I know you do. And I in no way think less of you for loving another man. But I also just want you to be happy. And healthy. Just think about what I have said, alright? I don't want you to realize one day that this could never happen. I'm telling you things because I am your friend, and I don't want you hurt. So, just think it over. And remember, no matter what you decide, I will be there for you. And you know that Kairi will be too." With that said, Riku leaned forward, placing a hand once again on Sora's shoulder and squeezing in a sign of support. When sapphire eyes refused to meet his own, Riku just sighed.
Standing up, he walked over to the bridge, sending a single look back at his friend. He really did hate seeing Sora in such a depressed sate, and Riku knew that no matter what his decision ended up being, it would take some time for the brunet would be back to his old bubbly self. Either decision would be one of the hardest choices of Sora's life. But what ever road Sora took, it would have to be his own decision, and all Riku could do was be there to support his friend, or catch him when he fell. He had a long road ahead of him, and Sora was the only one who would be able to choose in which direction to travel. Light or Dark. Neither would be easy, but all anyone could do would be to be there for him. And Riku resolved right then and there that Sora would not have to go through this on his own.
Now, before anyone asks, as of right now, there are no plans to make a sequel to this story. But that doesn't mean that in the future, it won't happen. But as of right now, I am very happy with how it has turned out. Thank you so much to everyone for reading! The biggest huggle in the world goes out to my perfect Pahoyhoy, I miss you so much right now, this one is for you! And thanks so much for the wonderful betaing job you do, as usual! Well, I hope everyone has enjoyed it, and please take the time to review! I really appreciate it! Until next time!