I am a huge fan of Brawl, and having played the adventure mode was truly amazing! Unlike the other brawl games, there's actually a plot! A PLOT, I TELL YOU!! In honor of that, this is my parody of it! But here's the thing-everyone can talk, but say a lot of messed up things...I DON'T OWN BRAWL.


Warning: This contains spoilers to the SubSpace Emissary in Super Smash Brawl. But in a funny way

Chapter 1

An Unexpecting Beginning of DOOM

In one world, of our universe, there are MANY things. Plumbers who rescue damsels in distress. Weird animals who can kill with freaky powers. Cross-dressers hiding their feminine parts underneath heavy gear. Then there's the SubSpace Emissary. A dangerous army of monsters and robots controlled by an unknown force to blow everything up into dark empty voids. On this very day, they will take their plan into action and rule us all. Unless one team of heroes, and even villains, can stop them. One team from a certain tournament. THIS....


"WTF?" Princess Zelda of Hyrule called, "No! This is "Super Smash Brawl" you dolt!"


"Lol, I just love a silly narrator." giggled Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom.

"And a good tournament of battles too," agreed Zelda, "We've even got the balcony! It'll be easy to watch the blood spew everywhere and bodies flying."

Peach cringed at the thought, but then applauded with hundreds of others in the massive stadium as a a lakitu came flying outside.

"HELLO ALL YOU SMASH-LOVERS! Are you ready to see some brutal killing!?"

"Yeah!" The audience cheered.

"Are you people ready to cheer then argue who'll win, THEN beat each other up!?"

"YEAH!" They cheered even louder.

"And are you women ready to take off your tops!?'

"..........." Everybody was now silent, before the women broke out in an uproar throwing their snacks and souvenirs at the lakitu, booing and swearing how they would rip him to shreds. He lost consciousness as a trophy smacked him hard, causing the creature to fall to the ground bleeding and twitching. Cheers came again as the statue suddenly came to life, where stood Mario the plumber.

"Hello! It's-a Mario time! I'm-a better than all of you!"

"No, I AM!" came the voice of the citizen and sky warrior of Dreamland, Kirby; who had been falling from the sky for some reason as a statue before turning into himself.

Having been insulted by a pink ball with eyes, Mario angrily shot a dozen fireballs at him. From out of no where, Kirby had taken out a a mirror which reflected the flames and made them fire back at Mario, burn him, kill him, then turn him into a statue.

"KIRBY WINS!" cheered the replacement lakitu, who was dragging away his injured brother. Everyone cheered with joy as the match had quickly ended. Kirby went over, returning Mario to life.

"Wha-? I lost already!? And too a balloon?"

"Silly Mario!" Kirby chuckled, helping him up, "Trix are for kids!"

".... What does that have to do with-?" He was quickly cut off by the sound of screams in panic. He and Kirby looked up at the sky where many things were taking place. The sky turned a deep crimson, and dark clouds appeared. Flying out of them was a massive battle cruiser, surrounded by an evil aura.

"Why's the sky turning red?"

"Why's a battle cruiser dropping all these weird purple forms of darkness?"

"Why's that pile of cash staring at me!?"

"Relax, that's just the money you could be saving with Geico!"

They watched as tiny purple forms floated towards the ground at the feet of our heroes, then transformed into primids. Before a battle could be broken out, a large metal ball flew from the sky dropping onto the primids, defeating them!

"YAY!" cheered Kirby.

Two R.O.B.s strolled over to the ball, plugging their arms into it and opening the thing, revealing a countdown from three minutes to zero.


"Oh my gosh, a bomb!" Mario panicked.




"We're going to die!?" Zelda cried hearing this as she stood up and warped. Instead of landing right next to the bomb, she accidently appeared in mid air, and fell from something-hundred feet onto the ground.

"Goodness Zelda, this is no time for games!" Peach said as she landed safely next to the barely-alive body thanks to her parasol.

"Pain..." Zelda moaned, "Agony...I think I'm paralyzed."

"Well that's just dandy." Mario said sarcastically. He looked up at the sky and saw the source of the bomb-the Ancient Minister!


"I'll stop it!" Mario cried running forward. Unfortunately, he happened to run into a banana peel which had been thrown at Lakitu. Somehow, he tripped and soared 58,000 feet into the air blasting out of sight. All were gaping at the sight, even Zelda who managed to pick her head up.

"How did- AHHHH!" she and Peach gave shrieks as they were suddenly swiped and thrown into cages. The one who was holding the captives happened to be a fierce Pirana Plant.

"THIS BE TIMMY. TIMMY GONNA KILL YOU." The Ancient Minister announced as soared away, onto his next location for destruction. Kirby stood there helplessly, now stuck in having to save not one, but two royal princesses. Roaring viciously, Timmy the Pirana Plant banged his cages repeatedly at the ground with no mercy.

"Oh dear! OH DEAR! I think I'm going to have a concussion!" Peach wailed.

"This isn't good for my condition!" Zelda gasped, her eyes rolling backward into her head indicating how she was on the verge of having a seizure.

"U-U-Uh! UH! UM?" Kirby was stammering nervously. Then and idea hit him! Actually, it hit Timmy. Because a nearby figure riding on a motorcycle came flying from a ring of fire near the entrance of the stadium, the flag that said "idea" hanging from the back of it. The plant screeched in pain as the motorcycle crashed into Timmy's forehead, that being it's death center. Like a bomb, it and the cages (luckily not affecting the captors) blew up in flames dropping the two princesses. Princess Peach had landed closest to Kirby, Zelda however, was lying barely alive and hypervehnilating on the other side of the stadium near the spot where the motorcycle had landed with it's owner.

"I'm...dying...help...bleeding...somebody put me out of my misery!!"

"With pleasure!" roared the biker who jumped off, and landed on the floor with a crushing thud. None other than Wario it was, Mario's deranged and oboist cousin. He stood there, holding with him a large metal laser, about his size and was pointing the charging weapon at the princess who was in excruciating pain. A flash of light came as an arrow zoomed towards Zelda at the speed of light! Before she could react(or curse at how her life sucked so much), the arrow came through her torso freezing her to nothing more than a statue.

"Oh my god, he froze Zelda!" Peach gasped with horror.

"Oh yeah, I rule!" Wario cheered as he flipped them off. He used one hand to grab the petrified Zelda around her torso (perv) and somehow jumped 30,000 feet into the air completely vanishing.

"You bas-!" Kirby was cut off as he was dragged harshly across the ground, over to where an item seller was waking near the stands. Kirby could see from the angle where he was being dragged that the timer said 0:10:34

"ITEMS! Get yer items!" He called as dozens of panicked citizens had started buying any weapon that could grant them transportation to safety. "Trampolines, Rabbit Ears, Warp stars- HEY! You gotta pay for that!"

"Burn in hell, I say!" Peach yelled in the most polite way she could (which WASN'T polite at all) as a warp star was swiped from the seller. Tugging Kirby onto her, both were launched into the sky as a loud KA-BOOM echoed. As they flew high into the sky and far away, they took a glance back and saw it: A large black void swallowing the stadium whole, trapping it's innocent people within it...



"Oh dear..." Peach said worriedly. What an adventure this would turn out to be...

They were now zooming past the clouds, but what they didn't know, was that in these clouds was a certain cross-dress angel boy: DESTINED TO HELP THEM ON THEIR JOURNEY.



That certain angel boy was Kid Icarus, Pit, who had seen the destruction of the Smash Stadium. He gaped over a pot of water only to see a blank void covering over the mass of area where the stadium once was.

"...AWESOME! I love these cool effects that the place has!"

"No, Pit." Spoke a voice from nearby, sounding quite angelic, "It is not awesome. It is bad, at the fact that the world is in danger of those freaky alien things."

"Aw..." Pit moaned, as he turned to the source of the voice. Um.......I don't know her name so I'll just describe her as the angelic women with green hair. AKA, A.W.W.G.H. Oh wait, it's Lady Paulina.

"Yes," said she, "You must go and help him; the plumber dude who was blasted into the clouds by a banana peel."

"LOL, that made me laugh so hard." Pit smirked as he walked towards the woman then became serious. "But I have no weapon to defend myself."

"...Fine. But do not stab OR shoot anyone just because it's funny and or they anger you." Holding out her hand, a weapon with a blade on each end appeared in her palm.

"YES, THANK YOU LORD!" He cried with happiness as he grabbed hold of the two-sided blade and took off towards the stairs. At the door, he stopped and turned to her.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna fall backwards in a sexy and dramatic way then save the world from the evil polluted-ness!" He closed his eyes, and from behind could tell the door had opened because of the cold wind coming through his hair. Just like that, he was falling through the heavens outside and flying around with many poses.

"Show off!" called A.W.W.G.H.

"BWAHAHHAHAHAH!" He laughed maniacally as he flew through the air. Pit looked up, and could see it- the same ship from the attack on Smash Stadium! Hundreds of the primids now came tumbling from the ship, attempting to crush him. But this meant nothing for him!

"STOP GLOBAL WARMING, DIE!" He screamed insanely slashing every monster that flew past him. His enjoyment ended quickly as one collided with him, causing the Kid Icarus to crash down into the clouds. He got up, rubbing his head stupidly.

"I think my ear's bleeding...what the?' Something caught his eye. Nearby was the statue of him, Mario!

"It's the plumber dude, he can fix our toilets!" Pit exclaimed as he ran over, returning the mustached man to normal.

"Wha...where am I?"

"You're in heaven!"


"No, but you tripped over a banana feet and landed here."

"...Um...whatever! Tell me, what happened to Smash Stadium!?"

"Well, some fat dude looking a bit like you killed a Pirana Plant that had been holding those girls hostage with this really pimped motorcycle! Then, one was bleeding so he used this tricked out gun to turn her into a statue and jumped and vanished! Probs wanted to have his way with her, even though its impossible 'cause she she's now a statue. THEN, the other princess and the pink beach ball mugged a warp star from some dude and flew off! Oh yeah, and the Smash Stadium was destroyed by some black hole along with hundreds of other people." Pit had said this in a mouth full, as he took a gasp of air. Mario was staring at him. Pale and horrified.


"Chillax yo, I'm here to help!"

"I don't have to for your gangster talk, mofo! All I know is that my friends are in danger, and so is the rest of the world from this freak army of haters!"

A blank expression was on Pit's face at what Mario had just said, "...I have no idea what you just said, but can I come with you?"

"Do you have any weapon for protection?"


"Then lets-a go!"

Nodding to each other, they both turned and ran off, jumping cloud by cloud as if they were in some plat-forming game.


"Doom doom doom da-doom, doom! DOOM DOOM-"

"WHY ARE YOU SINGING??" Peach called to Kirby as they soared through the skies. Some short distance far from them was the same battle cruiser that had set off the chaos back at Smash Stadium. Missiles, bullets, lasers, everything was firing at them! Kirby had been singing the entire time thinking that he could calm down the stressed princess, who's innocence was now destroyed and had gone insane.

"Doom da-doom doo- HEY LOOK, AN ARWING!"

"Huh?" She looked up at a blur in the distance coming in the other way.

"An arwing...yes, we're saved!" she sobbed with happiness, "Hello, over here! Please help us!"

"WEE-HEE-HEE!" Kirby roared with laughter as her began zooming their warp star in different directions.

"KIRBY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? We're going to crash into him! Stop, Kirby, stop! AHHH-"


The warp star, with both it's riders, crashed right through the arwing. At the impact, both were falling towards their demise screaming. Well, Peach was but Kirby was still singing the Doom Song. As for the mysterious arwing, it now facing the same situation as Peach and Kirby, landing who knows' where?


Just so everyone knows, that song Kirby was singing is from Invader Zim, and when somebody in the audience saw cash with eyes it was based off a geico commercial. Please R&R!