Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its characters or inanimate objects (eg. TARDIS or sonic screwdriver), they belong to the BBC.


I woke in a haze, as though my head was in a cloud. Everything was blurry, and I could hardly make out my hands as I lifted them. Slowly reality came back to me, and I heard worried voices around me. My eyesight focused and I looked at a face I knew all too well.

Dressed in an impeccable pin-striped suit and converse, stylishly messy hair flopped in his eyes, the Doctor pressed two fingers to my wrist. My first thought was that I must be dreaming, as there was no way I could have subconsciously gotten a job on my favourite TV show. But everything was so real, not at all like my dreams, where it just… feels like fantasy. And I could feel. Everything around me, the hard gravel pressed into my back, the moisture in my mouth, my clothes, everything. That was definitely weird.

"What the hell?" I thought, but apparently I must have said it out loud, because the Doctor jumped as though he had been burnt.

"How are you?" he asked after composing himself. "You took a pretty big hit there, though not the biggest I've ever seen… the Titanic took a pretty large hit, though of course it's not alive…" he lost himself in a ramble, and I smiled to myself, recognising that eccentric characteristic easily. But how could he be here?

"Doctor, shut up." I said; I needed to know what was going on. Now his expression was a mixture of confusion and shock.

"What did you say?" It was almost a whisper, his eyes wide.

"The Doctor, that's you. THE Doctor. Sir Doctor, Time Lord from Galli-"

"How do you know my name?"

"Who doesn't??? The Doctor, star of the longest running sci-fi TV show ever!"

"I don't know how you know me, but I'm not in a TV show, unless you count Big Brother in 200100, but that's way ahead of your time."

"So where am I, then? I suppose I must have, dropped through a rift in time and space, then?" The words were sarcastic, as though he was a complete idiot for suggesting he wasn't on TV.

"I'd say that's a pretty accurate description of what happened, yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, and seemed to lose himself in thought.

"Oh. Right. But how?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out!!! And how you know who I am as your clothes are from, ooh, early 21st century!! I wasn't a public figure until the 51st century when I accidentally blew up Villengard, but that's a different story-"

"Doctor, please! You act like we're not in the 21st century, when clearly we are!"

"No we're not… we're in the early 20th! And the last person I met who was clearly out of their time was Captain Jack, ad at least he meant to be there. But you, you're timeline just disappeared, it's not even here now!"

"That's such a you thing to say," I said, not taking him seriously. "but that's not possible."

"I know, which is why I'm here! You shouldn't exist, especially as you know me, and our timelines have never crossed until now, and I checked."

"But I know you, I trust you. And you need to trust me."

"Why would you trust a stranger?"

"You're not a stranger to me; I'm a stranger to you."

"That couldn't work, because our timelines have never crossed and never will, apart from now. Our timelines are mutating, but otherwise this is our first encounter."

"Honestly. Does it have to be possible? I know you, end of. I don't know how. You don't know how. No-one knows how. I've somehow been zapped, as such, into a TV show, and somehow I'm gonna have to get out. And I think the way to do that is to find out how I got here in the first place. Ok?"

"Yeah, yeah." But still his eyebrows were furrowed, as though the answer was just beyond his reach. "Let's get to the TARDIS then. I presume you know what the TARDIS is?"

"Time And Relative Dimension In Space, a time and space machine in short. Don't ask."

And with that, he hoisted me to my feet, which seemed to struggle to support my weight, and lead me down the road.