Ness's Farting Problem

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Old Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, YOU PEOPLE FRIGGIN' WIN, OKAY!? STOP SENDING ME E-MAILS TO MAKE MORE NINTENDO GIRL FARTING PROBLEMS! GEEZE! ...Well, to be honest, I didn't actually get any emails. But it sure felt like it when I noticed just how popular Princess Peach's Farting Problem was. And considering how apparently Samus (or rather Zero Suit Samus) and Princess Zelda amongst this website are more popular (then again, I could be wrong since I factor in the Mario series, but less we forget how big the Zelda section is), I decided to do them. In fact, this pretty much is the exact same description for the following fanfics part of this "Nintendo Girls' Farting Problem" series of mine - Princess Zelda's Farting Problem, Zero Suit Samus's Farting Problem, Nana's Farting Problem, and Ness's Farting Problem. Exactly four farting fanfics centered around four girls of the forty plus members of Super Smash Brothers, both playable, assist, Pokeball, boss, enemies, background, and trophies (as well as items since the good ol' Bo-Bomb is in, as well), and with that said and done, ladies and gentlemen, read and enjoy! That, and after these particular fanfics of the series are placed up, I have one more special surprise for you... hehehehehehe...

New Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: I felt like updating this because why not. And yes, I am well aware that Ness isn't a girl, but it was funny to write him as one.

Ness, the sweet and loveable, fourteen year old PSI using girl, often confused for as a boy by many a person, or at least that's what 'she' thought after going through a gender swap to see how it is for the girls in general, was sitting on the red couch in the living room of the overused Super Smash Brothers Mansion (seriously, they should be living in a different place from now on out of pure randomness, starting with the next fanfic, stat!), wanting for something to do. Sighing, and hearing her stomach growl at her, Ness started kicking her feet at the back of the couch, looking up at the clock, which ticked very slowly.

Very, very slowly.

"Gee, it sure is BORING around here..." Ness muttered to herself as she wrapped her arm around her stomach, complaining, "I got nothing to do, no one will play with me, and I'm hungry. Sigh..." As she closed her eyes, she felt her stomach grumble again, but this time, it was different. It wasn't out of hunger, and if it was hunger, Ness would know, since she loves food. As she stood up and placed both of her hands on her stomach, she realized that she had another problem alongside hunger...


Lots and lots of it.

"And don't forget LOTSA SPAGHETTI!" Luigi cried out of the thin air, before being tackled head on by Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Waluigi, and Falco Lombardi, who apparently were attacking Luigi for each of their own reasons (Mario having lost his recently awarded trophy from the Flower Cup to Luigi, Sonic losing a foot race he was having with Pikachu due to tripping on a banana peel that Luigi dropped, Waluigi losing the recent date with Daisy to Luigi, and Falco being insulted by Luigi, on the accounts of him, his species, his arwing, AND most importanrtly, his bread).

Ness gasped as she covered her mouth, watching poor Luigi getting the senses knocked out of him. However, she felt her little knees shaking, and she ran upstairs, trying to get to the bathroom. Unfortunately for her, someone was already in the bathroom, causing Ness to start banging on it several times, screaming to be in.

The person who was in the bathroom happened to be a Piplup, who surprisingly enough was doing laundry duties for several of the other Smashers and Assist Trophies. Turning around to see the door being pounded several times, he shrugged as he continued doing what he did best.

ness groaned as she held her stomach, which began to tore as it was begging to release gas. Falling down on her butt, Ness covered her face, tears starting to come down as she didn't want to burst out farting. Suddenly, a thought hit her, making her snap out of her trance as she took off, and headed into her room, locking the locks. She began laughing evilly as she rubbed her hands together, only to turn around and gasp in horror as her room... was occupied by Meta Knight, Weavile, Shadow the Hedgehog, Samurai Goroh, and R.O.B. were all busy playing...

A game of gold fish.

"AAAAAAGGGHH!" Ness screamed her brains out as she tried to unlock the locks, but she did it in a clever fashion that they were unable to be unlocked.

The five characters exchanged glances with each other, and shrugged as they resumed their card game. Ness took out her baseball bat and started whacking the door away, but much to her dismay, after the sevententh whack, the wooden baseball bat broke in half. Ness's eyes were starting to fill with tears again, and she tossed her red cap off, screaming as she began pulling out her black hair. Shadow, having enough of this squabble, got out of his chair and picked Ness up, slapping her across the face.

"Shut. Up." Was all he muttered as he dropped Ness on the ground, sitting back in his chair.

Ness rubbed her injury, and tears began filling in her eyes again, causing her to wail loud enough to cause the entire mansion to topple on itself. Samurai Goroh groaned as he covered his ears, frustrated with the high pitched crying so much that he charged straight through the brick wall and fell down several stories, screaming in pain as he broke many of his bones. Weavile screamed as he grabbed his Pokeball and returned inside of it. Meta Knight, R.O.B., and Shadow all looked at each other, and nodded, and Shadow used Chaos Control to halt time as Meta Knight and R.O.B. both charged towards Ness and started beating her up, showing no sympathy.

After a few minutes of being brawled, Ness was chucked out through the wooden door, landing on her face. Her red cap planded roughly on her head, and she adjusted it to match. Noticing that Piplup was still in the bathroom, Ness whimpered as she held her stomach, who was growling to the point of tieing itself up. Ness screamed as she ran down the hallway and headed down the stairs, never having such a problem with internal gas before. Much to her dismay, the entrance was blocked by Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Waluigi, and Falco Lombardi, who were all whacking away at the seemingly lifeless Luigi like a pinata. Ness's left eye twitched, and she fell to her knees, screaming in agony and rage as she couldn't hold the gas within herself.


With that screamed, Ness stood up, and she grabbed a megaphone, sticking it to her butt. Tears silently coming down her eyes again, she closed her eyes as she didn't hold back, and, to the company of nearly all the Smashers and Pokemon, ripped the big one.


Little did any of the Smashers and Pokemon, or Ness for that matter, know or realize that Ness managed to formulate so much gas withinher, the force of the fart was strong enough to cause the entire mansion (which was made out of pure bricks) to topple onto itself, crushing practically everyone. Several minutes later, Ness popped out, and she giggled a bit, sighing as she collapsed within the rubble of the formerly glorious mansion, the deadly stench being enough to knock her and any other survivors out unconscious.