Summary: So, I was thinking, what would have happened had Shizuma burst into the cathedral yelling someone else's name other than Nagisa? Well, everyone would be confused, I suspect. Shizuma herself would have been confused. So whose name did she yell?

And a special thanks to my beta for this story: Healer She did a wonderful job at not letting me post this with a ton of errors.


It was all so confusing and chaotic. Thoughts and voices swirled around in my head like some primordial soup each element taunting me with bits of information I should have known long ago and laughing while reinforcing things that I did know. My head was a movie theatre, a low income cinema where some of the speakers were broken and the reel liked to skip, it played amateur scripts because I was the writer and that was all my head could manage. It was all about a shallow main character that never made a point. It was then that I realized I had made mistakes, that I had not learned anything at all. With all my masks and all my farces I still was what I had been- a child; I was trapped in a memory, but I didn't have the decency to grow up like the others around me.

Even at this moment I hid in the place that was my sanctuary knowing that it was not a sanctuary as much as it was a crib, a place to lay a baby that was starting to fuss. Suddenly the air was nothing but poison, I've poisoned this place with my self-centeredness and my rotting love. Who says love lasts forever? Though it can if stored and properly taken care of. This room was a refrigerator that was left open by careless hands and the things it was entrusted with, had no choice but to be exposed to the noxious hands of time, where they rot against their will of nature.

But now, searching through this pit of garbage one thing remained: a fruit that somehow had persevered and preserved itself – a freak of nature that was all at once a miracle and a damnation. Cradling this gem I wished to take it out of this hovel, freeing it to the crisp winter air that promised "soon, there will be new life." Outside, the wind simultaneously buffeted and held me, punished and supported me. I was able to look at the precious gem more closely now, what was this small resplendent jewel? how could I have missed such a treasure among the dirt? A rinse with gentle, clear, readily available water would have made its shine comparable to the sun, but I had been too busy sucking at my thumb.

Seeking a reprieve I leant against a tree, feeling its rough bark repelling me as I once again tried to keep time from moving forward, but it would not let me do such a thing and I was confronted with more memories, they served their purpose though, nipping at my heels like the hounds of hell forcing me to push myself closer and closer to where I needed to be, and my lungs felt like they could move no more and my legs grew iron shackles of my minds own creation, but it did not matter because at that moment I had arrived.

I had arrived. I had arrived. Ihadarrived.


Heads turned to me but their stares slid off like a perfect avalanche down a low grumbling mountain.

"Shizuma!" I felt and heard her voice, I treasured her voice. How could such a beautiful thing live in the environment I gave it? No answer came, but it didn't matter, I had arrived and she had answered. My hand trembled from where I had extended it, it was alone and cold and it ached for a positive reception.

"Miyuki! I love you!" The rumbling of voices around us had escalated, but I would stand my ground, either the avalanche would wash me away or it would pass me by , leaving me to accept whatever answer she had deemed I deserved. She stood and I could almost feel the crushing weight upon me, one more time I called her name not caring of my desperation.


Then she came, she came to me and the hounds of hell ran away whimpering, the avalanche, and the memories and the voices all turned tail and ran with the hounds, they too could not stand under the weight and power that was Rokujo Miyuki.

Authors note: I've come to the conclusion that Miyuki is perhaps my favorite character. If I met her and Shizuma at the same time, I think I'd just drool over Miyuki, not Shizuma. There is just something so magnetic about Miyuki that is different from Shizuma. Not to say I wouldn't be charmed by Shizuma, but in the end I would be more attached to Miyuki. I do love her dearly….