A/N: I was reading one of the GG books (yes, I read them) and I got this idea from a scene with Chuck and Dan (though they are immensely different in the books) that has basically the same context. The title for this fic is the title of that book, too. The timeline is the middle of sophomore year, after Serena left and Nate is acting distant and weird. Chuck and Blair are bonding. Dan's POV just because. Just how the relationship of Chuck and Blair was before the series started and what the possible endgame might be. The ending is a reference to the awesome spoiler fics and the comfirmation that Chuck and Blair will be together at the season finale.
Summary: Chuck wasn't unintelligent at all. In fact, he was pretty sure he was an evil genius. He hadn't even been sure that Chuck knew any words more than three syllables. No. Chuck Bass wasn't stupid. He was just lazy.
Disclaimer: Don't own GG, but am SO excited that the writers are finally putting Chuck and Blair together. YAY.
Dan Humphrey knew he was being watched. He had transferred into St. Jude's School for Boys last year and by now he was fully accustomed to the snide glances thrown at him from the stuck up privileged teenagers blessed with trust funds. After all, he was from Brooklyn.
This type of behavior alerted Dan to the certain notorious perv who was sitting behind him in his advanced English class. What Chuck Bass was doing there, Dan had no idea. It was obvious a Bass wing was added to the library just to get him in here. Which was why, at this very second, Chuck Bass was leaning his desk forward so he could see what Dan was writing.
Dan loathed Chuck Bass. He was just the type of person that stood for everything that Dan was against. He was pompous, rich, and he knew it. He also had everyone thinking he was God's gift or something. All the girls fawned over him and all the guys (not guys that Dan hung out with, which weren't many) followed him around because of his money, "connections" and coincidentally because of all the girls that were fawning over him.
He was friends with that good looking (but seriously lacking in the smarts department) guy who listened to whatever Chuck suggested (which usually entailed lighting up behind the school.) What Dan hated most about that circle was the bitchy, small, brunette girl who completed the trio. Ever since Serena (the girl who he knew he would never have a chance with) disappeared off to Connecticut, the foursome had become a threesome (and at this point Dan was glad Chuck couldn't hear his thoughts because he was sure he would make some largely crude remark about that.)
He wasn't exactly sure why the perfect blonde girl would accompany herself with the likes of Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. It was obvious they were one in the same. Just their stupid blonde lacrosse playing jock didn't seem to notice. Blair was completely manipulative of her boyfriend and he didn't even realize it. And from the way Chuck leered at everyone woman of the population, Dan was surprised the jock didn't mind him clocking serious time with his girlfriend.
Lucky for her and her health, she was completely devoted to her boyfriend. But judging by Chuck's seductive tendencies to the entire female population, he wasn't really sure how long that would last.
Going back to the task at hand, Dan himself usually wasn't so crude with his language. He was an artist. He was a writer and usually didn't go down to the depths of one Chuck Bass. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and right now, Dan would do anything to get Chuck from stealing what Dan had rightfully been gifted with. So he wrote something worthy of Chuck Bass on the test booklet he knew that narcissist was copying from.
How's this? Can you read that jackass?
Dan expected it to take Chuck eons just to read that. However, when he looked back to see his reaction, Chuck's lips were already curled into a dangerous smirk. Dan didn't understand that at all.
Chuck easily leaned his desk back fluidly, leaning back in his chair with a cat-like grace like he was doing nothing wrong.
"Is there something wrong, Mr. Bass?" their teacher asked, probably already able to feel the evil waves radiating off of the sulfurous Chuck Bass.
"Nothing whatsoever," Chuck said smoothly. Always the charmer. Dan hated it. "I was just hoping I could be moved to another seat." Dan instinctively tensed. He didn't like where this was going. "I don't want to be violated by any…" he smirked back at Dan, "profanity." Sure enough, the teacher looked to Dan courtesy of Chuck's pointed glance to see Dan's little note.
Typical. The one time he used any profanity (even if it was rightly so) Chuck got off.
"That won't be necessary," the teacher waved him off. He did however, glare at Dan. "Mr. Humphrey, if you wouldn't mind moving to the back?" Dan suppressed a growl of indignation as Chuck flashed him a mischievous and smug grin.
It was then that Dan realized that Chuck wasn't unintelligent at all. In fact, he was pretty sure he was an evil genius. He hadn't even been sure that Chuck knew any words more than three syllables. No. Chuck Bass wasn't stupid. He was just lazy.
Dan was in the middle of Chaucer when he collided head on with something that smelled highly of expensive perfume that he probably couldn't even spell (despite his schooling.)
"Will you watch where you're going?" a soprano voice snapped. Dan froze while picking up his things at the familiar and privileged voice that met his ears. He looked up slowly to see Blair Waldorf, hand on her hip and hefting her Hermes Birkin bag on her shoulder haughtily.
He supposed she could be considered pretty if her extreme aura of bitchiness wasn't so overpowering. Just like her perfume.
"Uh… sorry," he mumbled, fumbling with his belongings. But he couldn't for the life of him figure out why she was looking at him so expectantly. He finally got it when she thrust out her hand in frustration at his incompetence.
Among his spilled belongings was one slender, orange phone that certainly didn't belong to him.
This was what mainly worried him about his sister coming to this school next year. Harpies like Blair Waldorf would rip her apart and potential date rapists like Chuck Bass would violate her. And speak of the Devil.
"What are you doing?" came a similar snide voice, though deep and rough in tone. Dan straightened to look into the slanting eyes of Chuck Bass. Again. He had no idea why he deserved such hostility already. It all came in a rush of realization as he handed Blair her phone back. There was no way he was making a pass at Blair Waldorf.
She snatched it viciously from his hand and putting it back in her purse.
"I think she's a little out of your league," Chuck sneered. Blair scoffed. If Dan hadn't known any better, he would have detected the tone of jealousy in Chuck's voice. Luckily, he did know better and there was no way Chuck would be offended by Dan's advances that were nonexistant.
"Please, Bass," she said with a familiarity that Dan found curious. "I don't need you smothering me. And its not like you can get anything of high class, either." Dan was staring. He wasn't used to anyone facing off with Chuck like that. But he didn't exactly run in the same circles as the elite.
"Don't flatter yourself, princess," he said repulsively. And curious still, Blair seemed to be oddly used to Chuck coming on to her in such a manner.
Dan didn't really want to get in the middle of an argument. It was when Chuck slyly slid his arm over Blair's petite shoulders, however, that he realized Chuck was majorly hitting on his best friend's girlfriend, not just being his usual vile self (though that was pretty vile.) "And you know you would jump me if you had the chance," he husked seductively. Gross.
Blair shook him off violently, ready with a snappy retort, Dan could tell, before she realized he was watching the entire exchange in fascination.
"What are you still doing here?" Blair asked condescendingly. Dan just looked at her blankly, for he was sure he was staring into the heart of darkness. If Blair Waldorf even had one.
"That was your cue to leave," Chuck said in a matching tone. Again, Dan was deemed speechless. One moment they were bantering, the next they had joined forces against the grotesque writer from Brooklyn. But he supposed that was just how this world worked.
Blair made a sound of disgust at the back of her throat and shoved by him, not bothering to look back behind her. Chuck shot him one last contemptible smirk and followed suite.
As Chuck attempted to put his hands on Blair again, Dan realized something peculiar. It seemed that this self absorbed sex maniac actually knew Blair better than her own boyfriend. From what he could tell, she barely even spent time with her boyfriend anymore. In fact, if Dan didn't know any better, he would have been positive that the two seemingly friends were at the very least having sex from the amount of sexual tension suffocating him in the atmosphere.
Who knows? Maybe they were. Maybe they would. Maybe they would finally stop playing games at the end of senior year and Chuck would actually tell her that he loved her on the sidewalk, gifts and flowers in hand. Maybe they would kiss for all the world to see. But who was to say, really?