Disclaimer: I do not own Kimi wa Petto (AKA Tramps Like Us)



Everything was annoying.

It makes her head pound.

She's had a headache for days and days. It never ends. She went to a therapist to see if it would help and he even had the nerve to suggest she cry! She's rather die than cry in front of someone. The last time was when Momo died.

Her boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with her. "Honestly speaking, it's easier for me to be with her," he said. He's lower than her in income, education and height. His girlfriend is due next month. No loyalty at all.

Men and their inferiority complexes.


The sunlight. The sound of the cars. People moving up and down the streets. Talking. Parks, balls, shiny fur.


The girl at work doesn't work. She cries when someone offers constructive critisism. She plays at being a victim. It's only Sumire's fault for asking her to help. Speak, shake, fetch.

It's annoying.

Her boss calls her out because she reacted when some jerk - sorry - 'Official' jerk touched her... rear. And then he goes and offers to do the same. It's so annoying! The definition of stupid is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So it's only his fault she laid him out. Crying, a long, warm, wet tongue washing her tears away.

Aw shoot. It's not like her to get angered over something trivial like that. What's wrong with her? Crying... crying...

The stares of her co-workers press down on her. Her head pounds. They're all annoying.


Night comes. The street lights shine their artificial light directly on her brain. Her footsteps echo through the empty street... step... step... step... step... bouncing off the inside of her skull... over and over... In a way it's even more annoying than a busy street because she can make this stop. But she can't if she wants to get to her apartment. Dry tissue scraping her face.


Step... step... step...

What is she going to do? It'll be either salary reduction or expulsion for improper behavior. If only Momo-

A box.

A curious, innocently suspicious box. In front of her apartment. What's that Momo?

What's in it? What have you got there?

Trash? Treasure!

There's not supposed to be any-! Let's go take a look.

A body?! Dry tissue scraping her face.

Is he dead? Rather die than cry again.

He's breathing. What should she do...? Police...? No, ambulance...? Police...? He's hurt so... Shaaa... Rain... Damn-What should she do? The box is open - he'll get wet. Close the box first. He can't stay in there. She should get him inside and then -

"Oh... excuse me." One man runs by. "Umm, excuse me!" Another. Annoying. Useless. It's her fault for asking. She'll bring him in herself.


Her head hurts.


She'll just bring him in and then call the police. No, the ambulance. But what if...? No. He's hurt. She'll call the ambulance. Scrape... scrape... scrape... Even worse than walking. Even worse than rain. Dry tissue scraping her face.

Her head hurts.

Bring him inside herself. Open the door herself. Her fault for asking. Do the work herself. Take care of herself. It's so exhausting. It's her faulting for asking. Scrape... scrape... scrape... Annoying.

She gets inside finally someone appears. It's the landlord.

"Oh, good evening." Maybe he-

"What is this? This box?" Her fault for even thinking-

"Oh... this actually isn't my stuff." Ambulance.

"I told you trash in bulk must be reported." He makes her head hurt.

"No, this is different... I just found and picked this up just now." Just let her call-

"Picked up?! So it's an animal?" Ambu- "I told you pets are not allowed in this apartment." Momo.

"It's not-"

"Let me look inside! Is it a doggy? Or a kitty?" Annoying.

"No!" Annoying. Bring him to her apartment instead. Then call the ambulance. Annoying. Call the elevator her herself. Bring him inside herself. Annoying.

"It's even more suspicious that you try to hide it. I have to inspect this!" Annoying. Annoying. Annoying!

"I'm telling you it's not!"

Her head hurts.


Scrape... scrape... scrape... Out of the elevator... Scrape... scrape... scrape... down the hall... Scrape... scrape... scrape... into her apartment... Scrape... scrape... Lock the door. Click!

"I guess first off, I should notify the police..." Whisper. Talking makes her head pound. Sneeze. Momo?

It was raining. He's probably wet. Young to... and hurt. He's not dead yet so maybe... She should check his injuries first. Right. You're all wet!

She opens the box and looks in. He's shivering all over. His breathing is shaky and his teeth make little clicky noises. There's blood on his shirt, some scrapes on his face, elbows, hands and knees. A body shakes, fur moving all over, water droplets making rainbows in her yard.

"He's like a dog." Blood. She should get him cleaned up.


The rain's gone, her headaches disappeared. His fever's broke, his wounds are taken care of and he's sleeping. His face is a little dirty, his clothes are ruined and his hair is sticking out all over the place. It's actually kind of cute. You know, in a stray puppy kind of way.

She should start breakfast - breakfast? "Oh... Oh man, that report!" Soft rice.


Another day. Sunshine, blue skies. Crowds. Foreign dignitaries. A call to her best friend. Just another day. Without her headache. It's wonderful. The sun doesn't hurt. The crowds, while still annoying, are simply part of the city. And work was enjoyable today. No sexist comments, no sexual harassment and no retaliation!

"He could be involved with something dangerous, like the yakuza."

"That's hard to believe." His body, was small and far too delicate looking for something like that. She could take him. "As soon as he wakes up, I'm sure he'll just obediantly go home." Like a good boy.

"You make him sound like a stray cat," her friend scoffs. Stray?

"Yes, that's it, Yuri-chan." Small delicate body.

"What?" Hands just a little too big.

"He reminds me of Momo." Shaggy hair.

"Momo? Wasn't Momo the dog you used to own back in middle school?" Rainbows in the yard.

"Yeah." Speak. "So I felt like I couldn't just leave him there." Shake.

"Are you stupid?" Fetch.


Sumire Iwaya of External Affairs Department will be transfered to the Lifestyle Department



Step... step... step... step...

People talk like she can't hear. Like she doesn't know what their sudden silences mean. And her ex. The nerve of him.

"I know deep down, you're a very timid and thoughtful person."

It makes her head hurt.

Step... step... step... step...

There's nothing a woman can gain from being strong. Rather die than cry in front of someone.

What else can she be?

Step... step... step... step...

The street lights. The sound of her footsteps. It's like the brief respite earlier never happened. It's all so annoying!

Click. Lock the door. Take of her shoes. Put on her slippers. See to dinner. Turn off the television. Hmm? Turn it off?

The boy's still here!

"Welcome home!" he exclaims.

Home? Ha!

He talks to her. She tells him to leave. She goes to the fridge. He follows. The little brat went through her fridge! It's fine. It's fine. Maybe if she... He follows.

"Are you some kind of stray dog!?" Momo. No!

"Yeah, close." Get away. "I've got no place to live right now." He follows. "Lately I've been staying here and there." He just won't shut up. Yapping and yapping like a- "Last night a hotel owner suddenly attacked me-"

"Attacked you?" Sexual harassment.

"I thought I was lucky he let me stay for free." Who cares. Not the bedroom. Kitchen maybe. "But he told me to pay him back with my body." He follows. "But I couldn't bring myself to do that." Still yapping. "So I ran away as fast as I could, but the guys who were chasing me were so persistent." And yapping. "I was hiding in that box, and before I knew it, I fell asleep."

So annoying. His voice changes, becomes softer. Telling her how kind she is.

"I know deep down you're a very timid and thoughtful person."

He needs to leave. She'll give him money for the train. He needs to leave.

"I want to live here."



"Lady, you're an interesting person!" And he's still yapping. "You're good at cooking and I'd think we'd get along great!" Caught between the door and the frame, his voice is strained. He needs to leave.

"Ha! I'm a cold hard-care career woman!" If she could only close the door. "Not an interesting person at all!" Who cares if he's still in it.

"Today, in the morning, when I woke up, I felt sooo happy." He tries to squeeze in. "There was food, and blankets, and your sweet smell."

"Don't smell me!" She pushes him. Anything to get him out.

"I felt that I wanted to stay here together with you!" he yells.

"If you keep talking nonsense I'll call the police." Like she should have done. Stray dog, ha! She should have... She pulls him in and closes the door. Whatever she should have done is irrelevant. She did what she did and now must suffer the consequences. Herself.

Looking through the eyehole she watches the landlord sweep the floor. He even took a cloth to her door handle. He whistles a little tune and goes his merry way.

If that gossipy landlord saw such a scene... who knows what he would say.

"That's a relief," the boy whispers. She looks at him. Shaggy hair, clean clothes - where did he get those?

"It's no use looking at me with those puppy dog eyes." Momo.

"Then anything. I'll do anything." And he makes a list. His list ranges from family to gangster to hired help.

"Anything?" Momo.


"Don't you have any kind of pride?" Just his begging was beginning to sting her own.

"No, I don't." Bluntly stated. "I'm not interested in K-1 anymore either." What? "I dunno, something about professional wrestling..." What's wrong with wrestling? "... the muscles..."

"Then why don't you become my pet?" Opps. "I could let you stay here as a pet." Yeah, that could work.

"Pet?" I'll give him something degrading.

"Yes, a pet." He's not a man if he accepts this. "If you're good, I'll take care of you and cook for you." He doesn't like wrestling? "But you won't have any rights and you'll have to obey everything I say." He won't accept. "How about it?" Not if he has even a smidgen on pride.

"I won't get any rights?" Softly.

"No, because you'd be a pet." Puppy dog eyes.

"Are you serious?" Momo.

"Yes. You can't comply, can you?" Of course not. "Then please leave immediately." He nods. She nods. There's no way. He smiles. She smiles. Or course not.

"Woof!" What has she done? "Okay, I'll become your pet. Man, that's it? How lucky!" Lucky?!

"Wait, do you know what this means? By pet..." He takes her hand and kneels.

"Yes Master."


He smiles.


The End