Against All Odds
Story by Charity and Nathan Vasquez, and Dillon Decicio. This is an unofficial, fanfiction novel. Rated M for mischief, violence/mild gore, mild profanity, and some adult themes.
Super Smash Bros. is (c) Nintendo and HAL Laboratory, Inc.
Female Narrator: When worlds come together and fates collide, remarkable things happen. And when unlikely friends join forces for the cause of heroes, fear subsides and darkness diminishes. Never in a million years would anyone have imagined that a rough-and-tumble band of warriors from different worlds would join forces one day, under such an unexpected organization as the Super Smash Brothers.
But who are the Super Smash Brothers? Well, I think every one of us would define them differently. We all see this place and these people from our own point of view, so I won't try to explain the way I think of them. Rather, I'd like to reveal where they came from...and how this all began.
The organization of the Super Smash Bros. came into being on a planet called Minerva, a planet with more than enough room for growth and expansion, but with enough populous that the Super Smash Bros. would become well known and the word would get out. The organization was founded by Captain Falcon, who decided to, with some of his endless winnings from F-Zero races, build a stadium to serve as a battle arena. He had this theory that if people liked to watch racers exploding into flames in fast-paced action, they'd love it even more if people pummeled each other's brains out for the common good of entertaining the crowd. Of course, pummeling involved, but certainly was not limited to, multiple explosions.
Captain Falcon invited some of his friends from the races to try their hand at battling in the stadium.
He was surprised at how many people died. Especially this one guy, named Fox McCloud.
Male Narrator: Hey, whoa! What are you telling these people, Samus? Nobody died!
Well...besides the first few janitors and announcers, but that was only because we hadn't worked the bugs out of the automatic sprinkler system/crime-prevention plasma cannon!
Samus Aran: That's a technicality. People died, and Falcon WAS surprised.
Male Narrator: You're poisoning the minds of these people with falsehoods and lies! ...Why doesn't this surprise me again?
Samus: It's the truth. Mostly. Only a little bit is SLIGHTLY embellished.
Male Narrator: I'm not dead!
Samus: That's the part that I decided to embellish.
Fox McCloud: Well these people need to know what REALLY happened.
Samus: I know, that's why you should leave and let me do the talking.
Fox (ignoring Samus): Falcon's friends soon contacted some of their friends, who contacted their friends, etcetera. Well, eventually the word of the Smash Stadium started getting out across the entire galaxy, and people everywhere knew who we were and watched us battle each other from every corner of every star system. Some people were even crazy enough to come to us for vacation.
Samus: Hey. I really thought I could get away with a week of relaxation until I met YOU.
Fox: Yeah. Then weeks became months, and months became years because you just couldn't live without me, heh heh.
Samus: In your dreams, McCloud.
Fox: I would never dream of anything involving you. Those are all nightmares. (He got an elbow to the ribs.)
Samus: You're dragging this out! Nobody's ever gonna know anything about the Smashers if you don't shut up and start talking.
Samus (pushing him to the side): Nevermind. So anyway, long story short, the Smash Stadium quickly became an organization filled with complete and total lunatics, such as Fox here. (Now she got an elbow to the ribs.)
Fox: Captain Falcon stepped down--
Samus: He was overthrown.
Fox: I was trying to make us sound NICE.
Samus: And you thought I was over-embellishing? Ha!
Fox: ... Falcon was overthrown--
Fox: Would you knock it off?!
Fox (glaring): ...and Mario took over. No sooner had that happened though that trouble started brewing.
Samus: That term is majorly cliched. (Fox began to speak but Samus clamped his mouth shut.)
A highly advanced race of mechanical warriors was sweeping through the galaxy, making it their goal to destroy all life on the surface of every planet, and build extensive factories in the planet cores to further their own race. We, the Smashers, found out about it before they reached Minerva, and under Mario's lead, we decided that since we all had enough experience saving worlds, galaxies, and kingdoms, that we could fight off this enemy force. We built a space station, using Captain Falcon's money, and launched it. We sought out the Econos, as the mechanical race was called, and clashed with them in space and on the surface of a planet called Rylan IV. We found the Econos had many different models of warrior, but all of them were designed in some way or another, after animals and creatures from other planets, maximizing the body design and fighting capabilities of their forces.
Fox: It was tough to get around their well-balanced battalions, but what can I say? I'm a great pilot.
Samus: And so modest too.
Samus: We managed to force the Econos to retreat to the ice rock of a planet known as Galacia, and they hid from us there, in the mountains. Mario sent a team of Fox, Link, and I to hunt them down and flush them out. What we found was a stranded squad of anthropomorphic-and-possibly-part-Lylatian fighters who had built a small military base. We also found that the Econos had already been threatening this planet before. We joined forces, flushed out the Econos, and then "rescued" the stranded fighter squad in exchange for them leading us to the Econ homeworld. When we got there, we were forced into a huge battle in orbit around the desolate planet, and tensions began running high between all of us. I made the decision to sneak off and invade the planet by my lonesome in a suicide mission to find and defeat the Econ commander, Kronade.
Fox: That was one of your more emo moments.
Samus: Shut up. People hated me back then.
Fox: You mean they don't anymore?!
Samus: Well now I know they're just jealous, so I don't take it personally.
Fox: Who'd be jealous of a tin can with beach ball shoulders?!
Samus: ...Says the guy searches deviantART for images of me without my suit.
Fox: WHAT?! I do not!!!
Samus: That's not what the forensic computer analyst said.
Fox: ...You hired a forensic computer analyst to SPY on me?!--
Samus: ANYWAY! I made my way into the planet's factory core, and was captured...and nearly killed.
Fox (grumbling): Yeah, and you'd be dead now if Ridley and I hadn't saved your butt and helped you defeat Kronade....The moral of the story--never trust a woman to do a man's job.
Samus: WHAT?! You couldn't have done it by yourself either!!!
Fox: No, I couldn't have. It would have been too easy that way, so I would have asked someone to tie my hands behind my back first!
Samus lunged to attack Fox, but he stepped to the side and Samus tripped. Fox stepped on her back.
Fox: After we defeated Kronade, we had to escape the factory core before things self-destructed.
Samus (from the floor): Which didn't surprise me at all.
Fox: Apparently, the other Smashers forgot about us and planned to blow up the planet to get rid of the Econos once they won the space battle.
Samus: Also not surprising.
Fox: We escaped though, and when we arrived back on the SSB Base, we got to watch fireworks. Everyone gave me medals for my bravery.
Samus (throwing Fox off of herself and standing up at last): Dreaming again, I see. You don't have any medals.
Fox: Not since you snuck into my trailer and STOLE them!
Samus: I wouldn't want any dirty old medals that touched YOU at one point in time.
Fox: I bet you sleep with them at night because you wish I was there.
Samus: You better hope that we're not lined up in any matches together for a few weeks, McCloud!
Fox (ignoring Samus again): With all that said and done, we returned home and left our space station base on Rylan IV, before all of us went our separate ways.
Samus: The Smash Brothers disbanded. Tensions were too high and we all needed to return to our homes and jobs to save more galaxies, planets, and kingdoms. We left the Stadium, thinking we'd never return. Boy how wrong we were.
Fox: As soon as Captain Falcon completed missions elsewhere and made more money, he came back to the Stadium, and started to revamp it. He built a theme park, malls, hotel suites. You name it, he built it, and soon the Stadium became a huge vacation spot again. Some of us got curious--
Samus: You know how curiosity kills things.
Fox: --Exactly, and we got caught up in Stadium life again. Before we knew it, we were all back together, and even MORE people began joining.
Samus: Which brings us to today. We're all a big happy family making a living killing each other.
Fox: Every family should take at least one night a week to do that. It really does bring people closer together.
Samus: Precisely. Screw the therapists who came here and tried to tell us how unhealthy this place is.
Fox: I like the media better.
Samus: Now THEY know what they're talking about. But...speaking of talking, weren't we doing something?
Fox (pointing outward): Forgot about our audience already?
Samus: Oh! Right. Well...they're all caught up now. We should probably start signing autographs, then get back to work.
Fox: You do that. I'm going to go save the day again and be everyone's hero, as usual.
Samus (putting her arm around Fox's neck and messing up his hair): And win more nonexistent medals?
Fox: They exist. I bet YOU don't have any medals. (He growled at her and pulled away.)
Samus: I have plenty.
Fox: That you STOLE.
Samus: Oh, you wanna start that again? It's ON now! (She began walking to the door.)
Fox (following): Bring it!