What would have happened if Edward would not have been able to control himself that first day?

Author's Notes: This is still pretty rough, but I really wanted to get it out there and find out if anyone even thinks it's worth cleaning up and finishing. This is my first fan fiction so your reviews are very much appreciated.

And of course I do not own Twilight. I don't own much of anything really. But Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.


I glanced up as thoughts of the girl intruded on me once again. Angela Weber was walking her into the Biology classroom. Her gaze met mine for a fraction of a second as I cleared my things from the side of the lab table that would inevitably be hers. I felt bad for her in a way - I tended to make most humans uncomfortable and I figured she would be no exception. At the same time, I was excited by the prospect of probing the secrets that her silent mind guarded so carefully, not for the sake of the secrets themselves, they were probably just as ordinary as the secrets of any other 17 year old human girl - but rather the excitement was for the challenge of learning her secrets.

As I thought this, the girl walked directly into the path of a warm current of air and her scent hit me. The violent desires that entered my head at that moment stripped away any shred of humanity that I so desperately clung to and surrounded myself with. I wanted her. I wanted her now. Not her body. Her blood. Her luscious, warm, sweetly fragrant blood had uncovered the monster that I had believed long since conquered. Nothing in the world mattered to me more than knowing the taste and satisfaction that would come along with that sweet, sweet scent. Her scent was mouth-watering and my mouth filled with venom.

I fought for control. Vaguely in the back of my head I wondered why Alice hadn't arrived yet to intervene…. I knew the monster was going to win this battle; I just needed to stall him. Trying desperately to ignore her blush that was fanning the flames in my throat, I reasoned with the monster, surely if we had resisted this long, we could resist for another hour or so. I held tight to the lab table as if it would actually stop me should the monster undermine my self-control. One hour. No need murder all these innocents. When I forced my breathing to stop, I managed to lull the monster into agreement; without the calculated massacre to worry about, he would be free to take his time and draw out his feast. Against my will, he began to plot….


The sound of the bell snapped me out of my reverie. I chanced a glance at the girl while the monster practically jumped with jubilant anticipation. She was packing up her belongings and getting ready to move on to her next class.

I'll offer to walk her to her next class! The monster snarled in my head. Mike Newton's thoughts pushed me into action.

"Hello. I'm Edward Cullen." My voice sounded foreign to me. The girl looked up at me hesitantly with chocolate brown eyes and again I found myself wondering what secrets they held in their depths. In that instant I almost wavered but Mike Newton was approaching the lab table through the mass of students pushing their way out of the room. "May I walk you to your next class?" The girl opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it again. Blushing violently (the monster really liked that) she finally just nodded. I reached over and took her books from her, much to the chagrin of the annoying Newton brat, and led the way slowly out of the classroom.

Once in the crowded hallway, I turned to look at her again. "What's your next class?" She looked down at a much folded piece of paper and then winced slightly. I felt again as I had that morning – I had never been without my 6th sense before and it was making me feel very off balance. For a moment I felt as though my curiosity might be enough to tame the monster. Though her thoughts were probably not particularly interesting, I wanted to know them. It was as Rosalie had pointed out so many times to all of us, you always want most what you cannot have.

She looked back up at me and said, "Gym." I nodded and started in that direction, but stopped suddenly, intending to put my plan into action. I hadn't realized that the girl had been following so closely behind me because she ran right into me and stumbled back a few steps. I reached out quickly to steady her - she couldn't fall and injure herself in front of me. It was hard enough to maintain my self control for these few short minutes. The shock of heat that ran through my hands and right up my arms was electric. The monster strained against the walls I had built around him. He was going to break free soon. As soon as I was able I quickly released my hold on her. She looked up at me again, her heart stuttering, and blushed once more. "Thanks." Again I nodded, concerned that I was so fascinated by the lovely pink color that her cheeks had turned when she looked at me.

I had almost decided to really walk her to her gym class when the breeze caught. Her scent was like being hit by a semi-truck. Incredibly forceful, but just as if I truly had been hit by a semi, the damage that would be done wouldn't be to me. She smelled too good. The monster wouldn't be tamed. "I forgot a book in my car…let me grab it and then I'll walk you to gym." I smiled at her. This time she nodded.

We walked at a human pace, though it was a quick for a human; I was in a hurry. I did my best to make small talk with her, asking her name, why she had moved to Forks – all questions that I already knew the answers to. I had heard them in the minds of the other students all day long. Mostly though, we walked in silence. Surprisingly, it did not feel uncomfortable. My car was parked at the far end of the parking lot, close to the edge of the forest. When we reached my Volvo, I turned to look at her. Her heart stuttered again as I took her hand wordlessly. Was it because I was cold? How I wished I could know what she was thinking. Not that it matters, the monster argued, she won't be thinking much longer. I walked backwards toward the trees, trailing her along with me. Her eyes showed no fear, only…curiosity, perhaps…and…was that desire? I stared deeply into her eyes – it was amazing – they were endlessly deep. I could almost swear I could look right into her soul.

"Where are we going?" She glanced back towards the parking lot. In the same instance that our eye contact was broken, so was my trance and the walls that contained the monster. He was free. Dropping our books, I suddenly twirled her around and pushed her up against a tree trunk, my lips on hers forcefully. She was frozen in shock at my sudden forwardness, just as the monster had intended. And then her hands were in my hair and she was throwing herself back into the kiss with all her might. This was unexpected, but I didn't need to think to know that I liked it. I groaned and broke the kiss, moving my lips to her jaw line, my hands moving up to trace her collarbone lightly. Her skin was delectable, and briefly I wished to draw this out further, but the monster would have none of that. I moved my lips to her neck and parted them slightly.

EDWARD NO!!!!!!!!!

The chorus of voices in my head was deafening, but it was too late. The monster was going to win. I bared my teeth and she gasped and stiffened beneath my hands as her blood flowed hot and wet into my mouth. The monster sighed with the deepest satisfaction as he swallowed and allowed his mouth to fill again. And then she was gone. I pushed desperately against the 4 other vampires pulling me away from her with the greatest force I could manage. I snarled and snapped, trying desperately to fight my way back to her. Mine! The monster had won - I was the monster and I was determined to drain her of every drop of her ambrosial life force. I was the monster and she had never stood a chance against me. But I was no match for all of them. Even though I could hear their thoughts, I couldn't block them all at once. Slowly they progressed in getting me further and further away from the sweetest meal I had ever known and my reason returned to me. I froze. I stared at all of them with a horrified look as the realization of what I had done sank in. Each of my siblings was sunk low in a crouch, staring back with wary faces. I turned and ran, not knowing where I was going and not caring whether or not they followed.


My heart was racing. It was pounding so hard against my chest that I was sure he must be able to hear it. How far out had he parked? It didn't matter, of course. I was fairly certain in that first moment I saw him that I would have followed him anywhere if he'd asked me to. I wanted desperately to know this strange boy with the bronze hair and the black eyes. And then he stopped. Whoa! At least I didn't run into him this time. But his eyes found mine as he reached out and took my hand in his. My heart stuttered as our skin made contact. The shock of the cold was nothing compared to the lustful current that ran through me in that instant. He slowly started to walk backwards toward the dense forest behind us, his eyes never leaving mine. I thought I could get lost in those eyes. They were so dark, coal black, and so deep. It was almost like they were begging me to follow, and begging me to run away at the same time. I was consumed with the desire to reach out and touch his face. I followed him wordlessly. Where were we going?

We were completely surrounded by the trees and I could no longer see the parking lot. I tore my eyes from his, looking back towards the parking lot. "Where are we going?" I had hardly had time to finish the sentence before my back was against a tree and his lips – those beautiful full lips – were on mine. They were strangely firm and my own lips just molded around them. My eyes widened and then closed as my hands involuntarily reached up and grabbed fistfuls of his hair, dragging him deeper into the kiss. I couldn't believe that anything could possibly feel as wonderful as those lips on mine, and very nearly protested when he broke the kiss with a groan, but then his lips found my jaw and his hand came up to brush against my collarbone.

I did not release my hold on him, but slid my hands down to rest on his shoulders and released a shaky breath I had not realized that I was holding. His lips traced along to my neck and I gasped as his lips grazed my neck. I clung to him desperately as the soft initial pleasure was replaced with pain. Horrific pain. Unbearable pain. And then he was gone.

The pain was indescribable and completely consuming. I wanted to scream, but no sound would come. I was aware in some distant corner of my mind that I was laying on the ground of the forest, just a few hundred feet from the school parking lot. If I screamed, surely someone would hear…I opened my mouth again, but no sound would come. And what was all that snarling? Was this an animal attack? I couldn't focus through the burning. I wondered vaguely if I was in hell. Where was Edward? If I could just see him, know he was okay, then maybe I could find the strength to tolerate the white hot fire that was raging through me. And then, as if someone had poured gasoline on the fire, the heat spiked and my ability to focus on anything at all was lost. I was burning.