Author's Note: This is the previous chapter all over, except from Edward's POV. Again – it contains material that is sexually graphic in nature. Don't read it if you shouldn't.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight.
I wasn't there when Carlisle told Bella about the vile thing that I had done to her. I just couldn't bear to hear her reaction. She would hate me, of course, and I certainly couldn't blame her. I would hate me…no I did hate me…too if I were in her place. I had destroyed her life…body…soul. And not for some worthy purpose the way that Carlisle did for me. I didn't change her to save her; I didn't even mean to change her. I meant to drink her dry and...and…I hadn't even thought past those first initial impulses that had resulted in this entire mess. I would have had to dispose of the body...her body…Bella's body. An image of Bella cold and dead in my arms infiltrated my mine and made me shiver as I shook my head trying to banish it. As I walked back towards the house it was replaced with an image of a miraculously beautiful woman with long mahogany hair, a heart shaped face, and piercing red eyes. I wasn't sure which was worse.
Bella had been locked in Carlisle & Esme's bedroom for 3 days now. We all gave her the space that she had made it clear she desired, some more patiently than others. Well, everyone was patient really, apart from me. I had spent the past 3 days pacing endlessly. I paced in circles around the house…and then in circles around the island in the kitchen…and then the living room…and then the hallway…
Would you knock it off already!?! Rosalie walked past me towards her own room. You're driving me crazy! You're like a caged animal!
I stopped then, directly in front of the door that separated her from the rest of us. From me. It wasn't really that I was pacing like a caged animal. I had intended to give Bella a wide berth…just as much time and space as she needed. But I just couldn't stay away. I had just been floating through life with nothing…no one…to anchor me in place. It was like Bella emitted her own gravitational pull and I was inescapably caught in an orbit around her.
I stood there staring intently at the door, willing myself to hear something…anything. Even now her mind was completely silent…no...closed…to me. To say it was silent made it sound as though there was nothing going on inside her head and any idiot could see that falsehood with even the briefest glance into her eyes. I sighed and laid my hand on the door, as if it could connect me with her.
The sound I heard then was poetry and music floating on silver clouds and sunbeams.
For half a second I couldn't move. Surely she couldn't know it was me out here? How could she have known anyone was standing there? And as soon as she saw it was me, she was sure to just toss me right back out the door. It was less than I would deserve if that's all she did. I opened the door and entered the room feeling all too awkward. I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes, and instead stared at my feet.
Several minutes passed and she still had not said anything, probably waiting for my lame excuse for what I had done. I had none.
"Bella," my voice nearly broke, "Bella, I'm so sorry." I looked up to meet her eyes then, terrified of what I might find there, but unable to avoid them any longer. They had a gravitational pull of their own. I was surprised when I didn't find the anger that I had expected, but rather confusion, and shock, and tenderness. I didn't deserve her compassion, but I wanted it. It wrapped around me like a warm blanket, briefly soothing away all my self-doubt. My hand, as though it had disconnected from my brain, reached out on its own accord and gently stroked the length of her cheekbone.
Her brilliant red eyes went suddenly dark and slightly unfocused as she staggered backwards. Here it comes. "Please don't hate me." I took a step forward, unable to escape her gravity, and fell on my knees before her, taking her hand in my own. "I don't think I could stand it if you hated me." I looked up to her, willing her to forgive me. Before I could register it was happening she was on her knees as well and her lips were pressed firmly against my own. Time ceased to have any meaning for me, but I know it didn't take but a second before I was flinging myself wholeheartedly into the kiss as well. My tongue tapped lightly against her lips, pleading for her to part them and allow it through to the heavenly cavern of her mouth. She granted her permission and I greedily manipulated her tongue with my own. My hands crept slowly up her back, over her shoulders, my fingers skimming across her neck before winding into her silky locks. I gently tugged her head back to break the kiss as my lips sought out the skin at her jaw, behind her earlobe, her neck…
There, where he pulse should have been were the finest white scars. I ran my tongue lightly across the place where my teeth had claimed her and she moaned as a tremor ran through her body. She did not give me time to contemplate what the scars meant before she was dragging my face back up to her own and claimed my mouth forcefully with her own. Her hands traced over my shoulders and across my chest, leaving a fiery trail behind them that had nothing to do with her temperature. When she reached the hem of my t-shirt, she yanked it up and over my head, tossing it to the farthest corner of the room and her hands again wandered their earlier path, her lips following along in their shadow. My breath was coming in short puffs until she ran her tongue in a circle just beneath my navel. I stopped breathing entirely then and grabbed her head…to stop her?...to hold her there? I had lost the capability for rational thought.
Fortunately for my overwhelmed senses, she still seemed to know exactly what she wanted and what she was doing, because she merely shook her head and pushed me backwards. I sat up on my elbows to watch her. She covered my chest and stomach with kisses as soft as butterfly wings. I was so distracted that I didn't even notice that she had unbuttoned my jeans until she stopped her attentions to my chest and abdomen and looked up at me purposefully. She was unzipping my pants. Oh God. I could feel the panic setting in and warring with the intense sensations of pleasure that she was creating with her soft…sweet…lips. Her tongue darted out of her mouth and under the waistband of my underwear and for the second time in just a few minutes I found myself utterly breathless.
"Bella," her name came out in a mingled moan of equal parts pleasure and panic. "I can't…we can't…I've never…" How could I ever explain my inexperience to this goddess? Surely she would stop now and I was momentarily overcome with selfish self-loathing. But despite the fact that I could feel my embarrassment hanging heavily in the air between us, she didn't stop touching me. She worked her way slowly back up stomach and chest, pressing more and more of her body against me as she went, until her lips were pressed against my neck.
Her breath tickled my ear when she whispered, "Me either. Shall we learn together?" I was able to suppress neither the moan nor my body as I swiftly reversed our positions and ground my hips against her. My lips and tongue nearly attacked her collarbone, sucking and nipping against it, while my hands crept steadily from her hips, across her rib cage, across the hidden mounds of her breasts…up and up…until I was holding her precious face. I looked her in the eye, kissing her lips softly – tenderly.
"You do things to me that I don't understand." I had never wanted anyone before I wanted her. First I had wanted to know her. Her mind was yet a mystery to me – one that I hopefully had eternity to learn. Then, when she had come close enough, I had wanted her blood. I had wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything in my entire existence. Until now. If I had been unable to resist her blood, it was nothing when compared to the temptation of her body.
I was completely consumed by desire and had ripped her shirt right down the middle before I was able to rein it back in…mostly. I stared at her beautiful form. Her breasts, heaving up and down with her labored breathing, were hugged softly in a white bra with simple lace trim along the top. With just a single finger I caressed the soft skin just above the lace. Her breasts stopped moving.
I couldn't stop the pleasure that coursed through me when I realized that I had just made her as breathless as she did to me. I grinned and dipped my head to replace my finger with my lips. My hands cupped her breasts softly, pressing them together, dipping my tongue into the resultant cleavage. She squirmed, her back arching slightly, growling as she pressed her breasts even more firmly against my face.
She all but ripped her bra off her body then. I had more time to register what she was doing this time as she sat up and rolled us back over. She very deliberately placed herself between my legs and tugged my jeans down and off. I let them go, but had trouble swallowing the panic that began to rise in my throat when she reached up to do the same with my underwear. She smiled at me and I knew without a doubt that anything this woman ever wanted I would endeavor to give her - for the rest of my existence. When my boxer briefs were clear of my body, I lowered my eyes sheepishly and bit my lip. I didn't like feeling embarrassed – it was an emotion that I had so rarely experienced in my more than 100 years that I wasn't really sure how to react. My peripheral vision saw her stand up, and I waited patiently for her to make her next move, as I was currently too embarrassed to even look at her. But she didn't move and eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up at her. She was staring down at me with an expression that radiated peace and unreserved lust. She hooked thumbs into the waistband of her jeans and lowered them gracefully down the length of her legs. She straightened up and kicked them aside, leaving me an uninterrupted view of her immeasurable beauty. I should have felt ashamed by the way that my eyes caressed every curve of her body, but all I felt was aching lust.
Yet again I found my body moving before my mind gave consent and I was on my feet and Bella and I were a tangled mess of arms and legs and lips and hands. Oh her hands were nearly as delicious against my body as her lips were against my mouth. She smiled at my sharp intake of breath when I found those delicious hands wrapped firmly around my erection. She walked very slowly backwards, still holding me firm and leaving me no choice but to follow along with her.
She bumped into the bed and my body could have wept when she released me. But she scooted her lithe body back until she rested against the pillows and I couldn't help but rejoice in the view.
I crawled across the bed, watching her as her thighs opened almost imperceptibly, until I was right up and over her and our bodies were pressed tightly together, my erection rubbing against the place where I most wanted to be in the entire world. I guided myself to her opening, keeping my eyes locked with hers. I didn't see any doubt in them, but I couldn't read her mind…
"Are you sure?" In lieu of an answer, she rose up and over me, taking my entire length inside of her in one swift movement.
I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I could only feel. The passionate heat that was Bella was all consuming and the most powerful pleasure imaginable except multiplied infinitely. It was as if in taking that part of my body into her own, she also allowed me a glimpse inside her mind. She was the most intensely exquisite woman I had ever set eyes on. Her beauty radiated not only from her body, but from her soul. How could I have ever thought I had taken her soul?
Our connection was only emphasized when we began to move at precisely the same moment. I pushed up into her, gently but solidly, at the exact moment that she began to rotate her hips in a downward motion. Her hands were on my thighs, providing her additional support and leverage. Her head fell back and her hair tickled against the inside of my legs, providing stark contrast to the fingernails that were digging sharply – and wonderfully – into my thighs. I could feel her soft heat contracting around me and I reached out to touch her breasts - my thumbs seeking out her nipples and rubbing roughly across them.
My arms wrapped around her as she fell forward, her mouth bumping intently against mine. I was all too happy to accommodate her and pushed my tongue into her mouth. I could practically taste her lust in the energy she put into that kiss before breaking it suddenly, her head rolling to the side.
"Edward!" My name had never sounded as perfect as when she panted it out in the throes of the orgasm that shook her entire body. It pushed me over the edge and I thrust one final time before emptying myself inside of her, panting out her name in a fervent prayer.
I couldn't help but think that all the dreams I'd never dared to dream had come true. Every last one of them was wound up into this complicated and beautiful woman who lay spent across my chest. Slowly our breathing slowed to within the range of normal, neither of us daring to move. I didn't dare even twitch and risk her moving away from me. I was still inside of her and grinned at the thought. Of course she chose that moment to look up at me.
"Does this mean you don't hate me?" I asked.
She shook her head and laughed. Her laugh caused her walls to embrace me tighter inside of her and drove me to such distraction that I almost didn't hear her answer as she snuggled back down against me.
"I tried, but I couldn't do it. I just…never stood a chance."
Nor did I.
Author's Note: I'm going to call this story completed because as of this point, it really does stand alone. And besides, anything else that I could add to it could probably stand alone as a one-shot anyway. So I hope you enjoyed it. I'm sure I'll probably start another story this weekend – I do my best writing at night and since I have to be up about 5 every morning – it's tough to do during the week. So keep an eye out.
And please remember to feed my ego – REVIEW!!!