Holy shit. I should be fired. Sorry this took so freaking long. I lost my muse. Dx But with the latest three chapters of DGM I got excited again and started writing! I apologize for any inconsistencies or if something makes no sense. I wrote half probably back in June and the rest six months later, so yeah. Thanks so much for support though! I love reading reviews, so please tell me what you think, it makes me wanna write more. xD
Chapter 6 - "Unconditional" (無条件の)
The next morning, Kanda woke up with a cramp in his side from not moving all night. Stretching and getting out of bed, he woke Aiko.
"Good morning," Aiko smiled rolling over. Kanda dressed and they shuffled down to breakfast. Light poured into the Order, the rain had vanished and left the outside world rich with color. In the cafeteria, Aiko and Kanda received waffles. Eating tired and quietly, the morning was interrupted by two loud boys bursting in for some food.
"Mommy!" Aiko shouted running towards Allen. Kanda watched for a brief moment and went back to eating, now with a vengeance.
"Hi Aiko!" Allen said picking up the little boy. Lavi greeted him as well and ruffled his hair.
"Did you have fun with Kanda yesterday?" Allen asked in a more childish tone than Kanda ever did. Aiko launched into tales of the day and night before as Allen and Lavi got their breakfast from Jerry. Allen nodded at the appropriate places and gasped, completely humoring the young mind. Allen took a seat next to Kanda and Lavi grabbed Aiko's food and sat on the other side of him. Kanda didn't look up to see Allen.
Before Allen noticed this, his instinct pulled Kanda's chin to his face and tried for a kiss. Kanda recoiled, stood up and left, a glare burning into Allen's eyes. The room had paid attention, Allen always drew eyes, Aiko was loud enough for himself and Kanda's anger frightened them. They watched the scene and pretended to go back to eating. Life had been quieter before Aiko and the affair had been announced.
Alone in his room, Kanda calmed himself. He used to have poise, composure and will. Anything concerning Allen, ever since he met him, seemed to set him off more than most. He lost it without a second though. That was the only thing Kanda didn't understand, how Allen could have such a profound affect on his mood and temper.
Allen had been with Lavi though, over night. Regardless of what Allen might've divulged, their actions would speak louder than their words. The nerve he had to pawn off Aiko and force him to parent. He hadn't thought at all. It was unlike Allen to be selfish, Kanda blamed Lavi. Of course blaming Lavi didn't make him any more relaxed. His entire day had been shot to hell when the two of them had shown up.
An hour later Kanda was still in his room. He had taken to meditating because all else had failed. A knock on the door bothered him and he tried to ignore it. It soon became repetitive though and he answered. Allen stood in the doorway with Aiko.
"Are you alright?" Allen asked holding Aiko's hand.
"What's wrong?" Aiko asked.
"I was done eating," Kanda lied.
"You didn't clean up," Aiko said.
"What did you want?" Kanda asked looking to Allen.
"Just to check on you," Allen said. "I'll get something for Aiko to do so we can talk."
"Che." Allen left with Aiko and fifteen minutes later returned.
"What's he doing?" Kanda asked.
"He's busy. Just tell me what's wrong," Allen said sincerely. Kanda let him into his room and stood at his window, Allen stayed back.
"Don't be so stupid moyashi," Kanda said bitterly. Allen could figure it out on his own.
"Nothing happened that I can think of," Allen said walking up behind Kanda.
"Baka!" Kanda spat. He turned around and stared coldly at Allen.
"You're seriously jealous of Lavi?" Allen asked in disbelief. "That's so petty Kanda. You aren't ever like that."
"I'm not jealous. I'm pissed off because you thought it would be fun to stick Aiko with me and go on a play-date with that baka usagi," Kanda said spitting on Lavi's name.
"Kanda! I wanted to bring Aiko with us, you're the one that didn't let him. What is your problem with Lavi?" Allen asked coming up to Kanda touching his forearm. Kanda drew back and glowered.
"He seems to think he knows that is going on between us. He has no idea and you need to stop putting stories into his head," Kanda said coldly.
"You never used to care when I hung out with Lavi," Allen reminded him.
"I didn't know you were exploiting our privacy to him," Kanda said with his strong arms folded.
"He's my bestfriend. You even told me you had confessed out affair to Lenalee," Allen argued.
"I'm not sneaking off with Lenalee," Kanda said, his eyes still piercing Allen.
"I didn't sneak off with Lavi! You let me leave," Allen started raising his voice. Kanda was being incredibly stubborn.
"Do you want to?" Kanda asked.
"Want to what?"
"BaKanda!" Allen shouted slapping his face. "Stop being so stupid and jealous." Kanda's felt his face get hot from Allen's hand.
"Don't touch me again Moyashi," Kanda said taking Allen's wrist and pushing him into the wall.
"You want me to admit to something I didn't do," Allen said a little less boldly.
"Is rain too much for you to walk home in? Are you really so tall that you'll get struck by lightening?" Kanda asked sarcastically.
"I had no idea that you would have such an insecurity issue," Allen said, his hand twitching trying to subtly slip from Kanda.
"Insecure? Moyashi, you are letting Lavi control and influence you. You're becoming selfish," Kanda said throwing Allen's hand down.
"Selfish? Kanda, you're losing site of me within your own anger. Why are we even fighting?" Allen asked searching Kanda's eyes. Kanda stalked back over to his bed. Explaining himself was near impossible, he expected Allen to understand after four years. Allen followed and stood next to Kanda.
"This is something new for us to deal with, I can't just read your mind and know this time," Allen explained quietly.
"You do know me," Kanda said obstinately not revealing anything. Allen's eyes softened, he placed his hands on Kanda's thighs and leaned in.
"And you know me. I love you," Allen smiled shyly and kissed Kanda gently. Kanda placed his hands in Allen's hair and kissed him back harder. Being possessive and moody, Kanda decided to show Allen to whom he belonged. Truthfully Kanda was insanely jealous and needy of Allen. His heart had been vulnerable for once in his life and he wanted to keep it protected. Lavi threatened his privacy and relationship with Allen.
Pulling Allen on top of him, he dragged his nails over Allen's neck and down his shirt. He ripped open his shirt, Allen straddled Kanda's knees.
"You could try kissing me, You're never romantic," Allen said sighing.
"I just did," Kanda said annoyed.
"You're always so rough," Allen whined.
"So are you refusing to be my uke because now you've decided I'm too rough?" Kanda asked staring into Allen's grey eyes.
"I was just thinking…" Allen muttered.
"Well you thought wrong," Kanda replied thoroughly aggravated.
"Shut up moyashi," Kanda said yanking his hair and pushing him over.
"Hey!" Allen objected.
"Moyashi!" Kanda said sharply. He reached around the front of Allen's pants, undid them and then pulled them down by the belt from the back. Allen tried to get away, red faced with anger and embarrassment. He got off the bed from under Kanda's grip and pulled up his pants.
"What are you doing?" Allen screamed. Kanda said with a gap under his legs, his hands making fists on his thighs.
"Yu!" he screamed, freaked out. Kanda remained motionless, his heart tight.
"You're not okay," Allen said, a shudder running through him. "I know you're angry, but don't forget I'm a human being."
Kanda felt horrible and laid down on his bed, facing away from Allen. He kept his breathing short and shallow, almost silent. He closed his eyes and pushed his left hand up under his pillow, the right curled up to his bare bandaged torso. Allen's heart beat erratically and he made a decision to approach Kanda. Sitting on the bed, he put his hand carefully in Kanda's ponytail playing with his hair.
"It's nothing. You don't have to be so forceful Kanda. I'm not leaving you," Allen said softly. "Lavi will never be what you are to me. He's not going to replace you as Aiko's father and he'll never try to tear us apart. Lavi is my bestfriend, not my boyfriend." Allen spoon Kanda and kissed his back gently with repetition.
"Get off me," Kanda muttered darkly. Allen let Kanda's hair slip through his fingers and he touched Kanda's bare shoulder.
"I promise," Allen began.
"You promise?" Kanda sniggered. He sat up and faced Allen at an angle.
"Lavi and I-"
"Shut up about Lavi, you and promises. I want you to leave me alone," Kanda scowled.
"I'm sorry I didn't come home Kanda. I'm so sorry," Allen said sincerely trying.
"Just go shut up," Kanda said angry and unmoving. Allen leaned into Kanda and put his hand lightly on his cheek.
"How old are we? Don't we have more important things to deal with?" Allen alluded to Aiko.
"Exactly, it's no a problem. So get out of my room and take Aiko," Kanda said in monotone. Allen frowned and knew that he could talk until he was blue in the face, only actions would change their relationship. He gave him a small kiss and backed off the bed and left calmly.
Kanda was hurt and while he didn't really want Allen to leave, he didn't want to forgive him. His pride sometimes ruled his life and this wasn't good for anyone. Honor was important to him and Allen had disgraced him by not contacting the Order to let them know it wasn't safe to come home. The pettiness of his own jealousy was driving him mad with rage. Allen could lie and cheat, but he also had pride and honor enough to respect Kanda. Oh, Kanda knew Allen love him and would never leave him, but he had to have a public face. He was touch and he couldn't just let some little speech change his mind, Allen had to prove it.
Kanda had gone to meditate and practice with his katana to stay alert. Things were lazy as of late and he didn't want to be the one with his guard down. But as with anything concerning Kanda recently, this training and silence did not last long.
"Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" a little black haired blur ran through the doors and into Kanda. His hips were losing circulation at the hug he acquired.
"Aiko! Come back!" Allen echoed down the hall. He ran into the room after the child and found himself skidding to a halt before knocking over Kanda, baby and all.
"I escaped," Aiko beamed proudly as he got peeled off from Kanda's hips.
"From what?" Kanda questioned.
"I was stuck in my room," Aiko pouted sticking his tongue out at Allen. "Mommy didn't want me to see you."
"I'm sorry if he's bugging you, he's faster than I thought," Allen said holding Aiko's hands across his chest.
"Why didn't you want him to see me?" Kanda asked with furrowed eyebrows, some frustration leaked from his lips. Allen hesitated.
"He just kept saying you were buuussy," Aiko whined struggling to elude Allen.
"Come here," Kanda said defying Allen and giving compassion to his son. Allen let go slowly and Aiko sprung out and jumped into Kanda's open arms. Kanda lifted Aiko up and stared at Allen waiting for an answer. They stood staring at each other silently.
"Are you guys fighting?" Aiko asked playing with Kanda's long hair left out of his ponytail. Kanda didn't want Aiko to grow up having memories of constant fighting. He was too young to understand the situation though.
"I did something that Kanda didn't like," Allen began. "I didn't come home when I should've. I didn't call and let him know where I was or that I was okay."
"Did you say sorry?" Aiko asked looking accusingly at Allen/
"Yes," Allen said keeping eye contact with Kanda.
"Did you accept his apology?" Aiko asked turning his head to Kanda. The staring stopped abruptly and Kanda looked down to his hybrid exorcist.
"No," he said.
"Forgive him, you love him," Aiko said reciting things from Allen. Allen looked embarrassed, he shrunk back. A four year old understood; why couldn't Kanda? But he knew that Kanda did understand, he just hated being wrong. It would blow over in time; Kanda would silently accept the grievance and move on. Allen also knew hated to express himself through words. All his power lay within his actions and misinterpreting them was easy.
Kanda quickly felt stupid about the whole thing. He was being unreasonably stubborn over such a pathetic, innocent matter. He had to trust Allen, it had never gone wrong before. Putting down Aiko, he stepped up to Allen and suspended his hand in the air with intentions to touch his face.
"I forgive you," Kanda said softly brushing Allen's long white bangs away from his scar. He leaned down a little to kiss him and Aiko tried to push them together by their legs.
"Yay!" he shouted happily.
"Che," Kanda said pulling away a little uncomfortable.
"Can we eat now?" Aiko asked holding his tummy. Allen looked to Kanda for the next step.
"I've already eaten, go find Lenalee," Kanda said still not a fan of Lavi yet. Aiko walked of the room shouting for Lenalee instead of simply using Timcampy to his advantage. Allen hugged Kanda, resting his head on his shoulder.
"Thank you," Allen whispered. Kanda didn't reply but held him all the same. Only hours ago Kanda had been filled with rejection. He wasn't so easily over the situation, his anger and irritation towards Lavi festered deep in him. Allen didn't have to take the brunt of it anymore though.
"I'm still not okay with Lavi," Kanda muttered, his hand moving across Allen's left arm.
"It doesn't mater right now," Allen said happy to have the moment. Kanda started moving Allen to the closed sliding doors. Allen backed up, curious to find out what Kanda was planning. The dim light illuminated the doorway; their silhouettes could be seen through the paper blinds. Kanda was not particularly aware of this.
"You can make this up to me," Kanda said pulling Allen's arms up, pinning his wrists against the door. Allen breathed nervously. Kanda used one hand to hold onto the restrained limbs white he used the other to tilt Allen's head to expose his neck. He extended his tongue and tickled Allen's throat with the tip. Allen controlled his breathing but was scared with the way things were going lately.
Kanda took his free hand and let it subtly touch Allen's side. It tugged at Allen's tucked in shirt and loosened it. While his mouth licked at the salt on his boyfriend's neck, the hand had it's own mind. It unbuckled his plain black belt and wiggled out the button on his pants.
"K-K-Kanda…" Allen wasn't sure if this was the best place to be doing this. He also felt helpless under Kanda's grip. He could push him off, he was strong enough but it would lead to a fight. The passion in him was there, no doubt, but it seemed lustful, not loving. Loving would translate into romance and it was not very romantic doing it in the training room without locks on the doors and paper blinds to see through. Allen didn't want to make Kanda mad again though; they were finally getting over this morning's misconception. It was the least he could do to be submissive.
Kanda ignored Allen's hesitation. His hand was already wrapped around him, his thumb a forefinger played with the tip. Allen shifted under the touch; he exposed his neck more when he tilted his head back. His eyes closed, he was just going to have to let it happen. Closing his eyes made it like the situation wasn't really happening.
Kanda licked up his neck more full on and coming back down, he let his hand holding Allen's wrist down and pulled slowly at Allen's collar to expose his clavicle. His lower hand and his mouth moved in unison to excite Allen who was just trying to control his own breathing. Gradually, Allen's shirt fell off his shoulders and his pants hung on his hip bones. His breathing got faster as Kanda's hands touched him more and roughly once he was fully extended.
Allen brought his hands up to his white, shaggy hair and pulled at his own roots. The sensation never got old and actually, it was rarer that Kanda went down on him instead of the other way around. It was an interesting way of saying, 'I forgive you.'
"Oh, oh, a… ahh…" Allen felt Kanda's tongue tease him. Soon he was enveloped by Kanda's mouth and he tried not to squirm in pleasure too much. His heavy breathing was a turn on to Kanda and he knew it. The salvia and heat around him was intoxicating. He opened his eyes and saw Kanda's hair, high in its pony tail, more than a few hairs out of place. Allen subconsciously reached down and pulled out the hair band. He tangled his fingers inside the soft, silky nest of hair and let his other hand travel all over his body, unsure of what to do with itself.
Kanda maneuvered his mouth all around Allen with an intensity that didn't generally come. His hands were placed right next to the protruding organ, tickling it dryly. With Kanda's hair taken down, he felt a little more natural with the whole scene. And hearing Allen above him and feeling him move beneath him felt animalistic. While he normally controlled the sex and manner in which it was conducted, he'd never felt Allen like this before, it was seeping into him at a drug induced rate, this was going to become addicting.
"Fa… f…" Allen couldn't speak. He didn't really need to; Kanda was already doing what was necessary and more. Beyond the regular experience, this was intense and it almost scared Allen. Why was it never like this before? It felt good, but horrifying at the same time. It was rougher and in a dangerous place. He felt himself coming faster than before and as it built up almost to the climax, the danger became real.
"Allen?" Lavi's voice was so clear and near, Allen's eyes shot open the same time he came in Kanda's mouth. Kanda reactively spit it on Lavi because his head turned at the sound of being discovered. Kanda felt Allen close his pants next to his ear and pull his shirt over his chest. Kanda stood up slowly, calmly even. Allen instinctively grabbed Kanda's arm to stop him from any violent actions.
"You need to get out," Kanda said in his usual flat tone of elitism.
"I want to talk to Allen," Lavi said trying to strong even though his face was red and he had cum on his pants.
"My moyashi is with me," Kanda said pulling Allen to his side. Allen was surprised that Kanda was not flustered or infuriated. He was simply being his cold, impartial self. Allen was limp for a moment and then wrapped his arms around Kanda. This change was overwhelming, but with Kanda sturdy in his beliefs, Allen felt comfort in his presence.
"Can I talk to you later?" Allen asked feeling a little torn. He was apologetic in his eyes but wasn't sure if it was coming across correctly. Lave looked desperate about the whole thing, his eyes asked, 'Please. This is urgent. You need to get away from here.' Kanda held tight to Allen, being left right now would be the ultimate show of where Allen's loyalties were laying.
"Lavi, is anyone hurt or dying?" Allen asked. Lavi hesitated and took a short breath.
"No," he sighed.
"I'll talk to you later then," Allen said definitively. Kanda stared at Lavi with a chilling triumph in his eyes. Lavi left disappointed but turned back to get out the last word.
"He's just using you," Lavi's voice trailed and disappeared into the room. Allen looked to the floor and Kanda's eyes narrowed.