Kenta-Sonek-Raikiri: Allo!

i was bored Saturday morning, and while i was working at St. Vincent De Paul food drive, (I like doing charity work, it makes me feel happy!) i started thinking of the Emo-chiha, and eventually came up with this!

"All right squad 7, I've got a new mission for you." The Sandaime Hokage said to team Kakashi.

"ALL RIGHT!!" Naruto yelled out loud, already getting excited.



As Naruto nursed his newest head injury, Kakashi kept reading his book, giggling every so often. Iruka sighed as he saw his favorite and at the same time, least favorite squad.

Squad 7.

"Ahem!" Iruka called out.

Naruto and Co. suddenly turned to Iruka who, in turn, turned to the third Hokage.

"Lord Hokage?" Iruka said as the Sandaime took the pipe out of his mouth.

"Yes, now. For Squad 7, we have a mission that hasn't needed to be done for 2 years."

At this, Naruto started quivering in excitement. The Sandaime stretched the time, trying to give dramatic effect, until finally he started, "Squad 7, you are to…"

"Yes?" Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto all had their heads slowly moving towards the Hokage.

"Fix all…"

"Yeeessss??!?!" They said as their heads moved closer.

"Of the Hokage Mansion's…"

"YEEESSS?!?!?!?" The three Genin said, their heads all in the Hokage's face.

"Light bulbs."


As the three Genin recovered from their face plants, Naruto was the first to explode.

"Fix your LIGHT BULBS!!!!!!?????? ARE YOU INSANE OLD MAN!?"

Sasuke and Sakura nodded their heads in agreement as Iruka started twitching to their reaction, and was just about to go on another ten minute lecture when the Hokage spoke.

"Would you rather be sent back to the academy for five years?" The aged Hokage said as an evil smile had plastered itself upon his face.

The three genin huddled together, pale faced and sweating bullets while rapidly shaking their heads no.

"That's what I thought." The Hokage said, smiling triumphantly.

~Hokage Mansion~

"This stinks, why is the old man always doing this to me?" Naruto complained as he and the rest of his squad walked down the halls of the Hokage Mansion, holding boxes of light bulbs.

When the group had gotten to a room with the first light bulb, Naruto looked up at the light bulb…

…and noticed how high up it was.

Naruto would have complained, when he thought of something. Everyone knew Kakashi wasn't going to fix the light bulbs, so why not ask Mr. hot-shot to do them all? Besides, if he was such an amazing Uchiha, then this shouldn't be a problem for him. Naruto turned towards Sasuke and grinned.

"~Hey Saaasuke~." Naruto called out to the raven-haired emo in a sing-song voice.

"What dobe."

"Why don't you do this mission?"

"And why should I? I'm an Uchiha, I shouldn't be doing such meager tasks." Sasuke said as a small bead of sweat formed on his head.

"Oh, Sasuke, that's sooo true…NARUTO! YOU DO IT!" Sakura yelled out to Naruto.

"Fine, I will." At this Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief that, thankfully, no one heard.


"Neh?" Sasuke said as Naruto pulled out a light bulb.


Sakura turned to Naruto who was trying to contain his laughter, and failing.

"Naruto-baka, what are you laughing about?" Sakura said, her temper already getting the best of her.

Naruto waved his hand in a shoeing motion before saying, "Oh, it's nothing. Just that if a 'dobe' like me can do this while the Uchiha doesn't want to, then it proves that Sasuke is the dobe."

Sakura looked at him confused while Sasuke slightly twitched.

"What do you mean Naruto?" Sakura asked curiously.

"I mean what I said; Sasuke doesn't want to do it, which means that he doesn't know HOW to do it. And to think, the Uchiha were supposed to be the best…who knew they didn't know how to screw in a light bulb?" Naruto said as he started flipped the light bulb in his hand.

Sasuke was now twitching and sweating furiously until he finally snapped at, "So much for the rookie of the year, Kiba would have a better chance a-"

Naruto was interrupted when Sasuke snatched the light bulb from thin-air and walked over to a light bulb outlet that was on the ceiling. When Sasuke was under the outlet, he jumped up, just barely missing the light bulb. Cursing, Sasuke pumped chakra into his legs and jumped up into the air. He got a grip around the light bulb, but was only able to give it a small turn before gravity pulled him back to the ground.

As Naruto started chuckling, he stopped as he saw Sakura with hearts in her eyes watching Sasuke jumping. Only a few seconds after her watching Sasuke did Naruto notice the little trickle of blood that started running down her nose. When Naruto turned back to Sasuke, he saw the reason why. Every few seconds, when Sasuke jumped, his shirt lifted enough for Sakura to get a look at his stomach. As the word 'stomach' popped into his head, his began growling.

As he put a hand on it, another idea popped into his head. Naruto had given up on Sakura since the perverted sage Jiriaya kept telling him to find someone else to chase after, and that a girl who only punched you in the face wouldn't be a good girlfriend. He then turned towards Sakura and said, "Shouldn't the future wife of the Uchiha be helping him? *tsk* *tsk* Sakura, I guess you aren't a very good fiancé." The effect was immediate as Sakura shot up and went over to Sasuke to 'help him'.

As Sakura walked over to her Fiancé, Naruto pulled out a small oven from seemingly out of nowhere and plugged it into an electrical outlet in the wall.

-Ten minutes later-

Sasuke was still trying to get the light bulb out. Sasuke gave one more jump when, finally, the light bulb came out.

"FINALLY!!" Sasuke said as tears streamed down his face.

"Good for you Sasuke, now you've got to screw another one back IN." Naruto said smiling as he readied himself a bowl of Ramen.

Sasuke groaned in agony when he saw Sakura.




correction, theunconscious body, of Sakura. As Sasuke's face become a look of confusion, Naruto sighed.

"Poor Sakura, after seeing her crush jumping up and down for 5 minutes straight, seeing him sweating a little was too much for her..." Naruto said shaking his head.

As Sasuke was about to start his next task of putting the other light bulb back in, he took notice of a smell that wasn't there before. Sasuke turned to see Naruto and Kakashi eating ramen.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!?!?" Sasuke yelled out as his jaw hit the ground.

Naruto and Kakashi turned towards Sasuke and said in unison, "What does it look like? We're eating."

Then Naruto said, "What? You telling me that an Uchiha needs help to put in a few light bulbs?"

Sasuke twitched at the jab Naruto shot at him, and smirked before saying, "Of course not, this is nothing. I could do this all day."

"Good, because at the rate you're going, it WILL take all fact, it might even take a week." Naruto said as he slurped some more ramen into his mouth.

Sasuke groaned as he got back to jumping.

As Naruto and Kakashi were still eating Ramen, Kakashi asked Naruto a question.

"So Naruto, have you figured out what he's doing wrong?"




"Are you going to tell him?"




"Just though I'd ask."


"AHH! That hit the spot! Hey Kakashi-sensei, you and Iruka-sensei keep saying that I don't think, so how can I improve my mental skills?"

Kakashi did his usual eye smile when he pulled out a scroll. "Glad you asked Naruto, because now that you've asked, I can help train you!"

Naruto looked at him funny before saying, "You made a deal with Jiji didn't you…"


"So what'd you win?"

"2 Icha-Icha books and a week's vacation."

"Ahh…anywhere in particular?"

"Maybe Tea Country…"

"Just thought I'd ask."

~6 hours later~


"I'm, *Huff* finally, *Pant* finished!" Sasuke called out triumphantly as he fell to the floor.


Naruto and Kakashi looked up from their game towards the gasping Sasuke.

Naruto smiled and said, "Congratulations Sasuke! One down, a hundred and ninety-nine more to go!"

At this, Sasuke paled and finally passed out.

Naruto shook his head, until he heard a door open.

"Konbanwa Jiji!" Naruto said smiling to the aged Hokage as he walked into the room to find Sasuke and Sakura passed out, (Sakura having a renewed bloody nose) and Kakashi and Naruto playing a game of chess.

"Checkmate Kakashi...again." Naruto said as he moved his rook into position.

"WHAAT!!??" Kakashi yelled out turning back to the game.

Indeed, Kakashi's king was in checkmate, and Naruto was sitting across from him smiling.

Kakashi gained a vein on the side of his head. "Best ten out of twelve..."

Naruto smiled, "Bring it on, believe it! Oh, and Jiji, you owe Kakashi-sensei 2 porn books and a weeks vacation."

At this Sarutobi hung his head. "I'll take it he finally asked?"

"Yep" Naruto and Kakashi said in unison.

Kakashi then glared at Naruto. 'HOW THE HELL HAS HE BEATEN ME TEN TIMES IN A ROW!!!???' Kakashi thought in irritation.

In all truth, Naruto's first victory was complete luck. After being beaten by Naruto though, Kakashi thought Naruto was better than what he first thought, and decided to go against Naruto with all of his concentration powers.


Naruto was sweating profusely on the inside, even though he appeared calm on the outside. Kakashi was seriously kicking his butt, and Naruto had barely beaten Kakashi only because he was reading his book at the time. After that, Kakashi put his book off to the side so he could focus.

As Naruto struggled to come up with an idea, a cat (Tora) had crept up behind Kakashi and started clawing at his book. Naruto looked up after hearing the small scratching noise, and saw the cat, while Kakashi was focusing intensely on the game. As Naruto saw this, he came up with an idea.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei, you're books being ruined." Naruto said, gaining Kakashi's attention.

'What?' Kakashi turned around and saw the cat.


As Kakashi chased the cat, trying to regain his book (which was now being chewed by the cat), Naruto changed around the positions of the chess pieces to where, in a few easy steps, Naruto would win.

'Heheh, piece of cake.' Naruto thought as Kakashi sat down again, book firmly in his grasp.

When Kakashi returned back to the game, he failed to notice the chess pieces were rearranged. Naruto moved his bishop to a certain spot and said, "Checkmate Kakashi-sensei!" while smiling.

"Uh-huh, checkmate...................wait, CHECKMATE!?" Kakashi said, eyes growing wide as he saw his King cornered again.


Since then, Naruto would come up with something to distract Kakashi with, and when his head was turned, Naruto would switch the pieces. What kinds of distractions you ask?

Some like,

"Kakashi-sensei, your books on fire."


"Kakashi-sensei, Sakura's reaching for your butt."

And Naruto's personal favorite,

"Kakashi-sensei, your book exploded."

In which Kakashi would break down crying and Naruto would say,

"Oh wait! It's sticking out of your pocket! That was just Oro-chan's explosive Kunai!"

Aahhh, man was he good! And when the old man walked in, that provided yet another distraction for Kakashi.

"Would someone please explain to me what's going on?" Sarutobi asked Kakashi and Naruto.

At this, Naruto spoke up.

"Well Jiji, we were about to start fixing the light bulbs when Sasuke-teme over there said that, and I quote, "Doing such a thing is a meager task for an Uchiha, I could do this all day!" and then proceeded to do so." Naruto said in a Sasuke-like voice.

Sarutobi looked at Naruto and disregarded the impersonation, and continued with another question.

"And the Kunoichi?" He said pointing his pipe towards Sakura.

"She passed out while watching the teme."

"And WHY didn't you help them Naruto?"

"Because the teme said he could do it without any help."

"Is this true Kakashi?" The old man asked turning towards Kakashi.

"More or less, yes." Kakashi said as he gave up on the game and returned to his reading.

"So, I'll take it the mission was a failure..." Sarutobi sighed.

"No, it was a success." Naruto said as he stood up and started stretching, popping all of his stiff joints.

"Would you care to explain?" Sarutobi said raising an eyebrow.

"I already took care of the others."

At this, Sakura and Sasuke snapped out of their fainting/passed out states and yelled in unison,


"Oh, so Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha are finally up, ne?" Naruto said turning towards them.

While Sasuke and Sakura both blushed at the names, Sasuke stuttered out,

"B-baka, shut it. And what do you mean they're done!?"

"You were taking too long, so I went and sent my shadow clones to finish the rest."

"But HOW did you do that?" Sasuke said pointing to the new light bulb that was in the outlet.

"Easy, I used the tree climbing jutsu to stick to the ceiling and switched the light bulbs."

Sasuke started twitching furiously before running out of the building to an execution site while laughing maniacally.

".....Well Shit....." Naruto said as he saw the hole that was now in the wall of the building shaped like a mentally unstable Sasuke.

"AAAHHH!!! SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura screamed as she too ran through the wall making another hole, this time shaped as a banshee. (anyone know how that looks like?)

Naruto looked at the two holes that looked like they were holding hands, and said, "Double shit......Sorry Jiji, but it's gonna cost you extra to fix that." Naruto said turning towards the Hokage.

Sarutobi hung his head and sighed, and flipped the switch of the lights.





...............................................Nothing happened............

Naruto turned off the switch and jumped up and landed on the ceiling, using his chakra to stay there. He unscrewed the light bulb and gave it a light shake. Not hearing anything rattling inside, he screwed the bulb back in and rested his chin on his hand.

Naruto turned to the side, jumped off the ceiling, and went to a small box outside the mansion. He opened it up and flipped a switch and called up to Sarutobi.


Sarutobi flipped the switch and the lights went on.



"Heheheheheh..........I knew the power was shut off......"


"Sasuke-Kun! Don't worry; I'll be with you forever!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! SOMEONE KILL ME NOW!!!!!!! Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs looking at the form of an undressing Sakura.

"Don't worry Sasuke-Kun, we'll be together forever."


and Sasuke and Sakura were never seen again.


Konbanwa - Good Evening

Jiji - Grandpa/Grandfather/Old Man

Oro - Snake

Oro-Chan - Anko (Just Naruto's way of saying it...)

Kenta: heheheheh, i've been thinking about this for awhile now, and i was just going to leave it with Sasuke, but then me and a friend of mine decided it'd be funnier to fix it up a bit.

The original title of this Fic was, "Light buldbs" but we decided it'd be funnier this way.

Don't worry, we've still got TWO other Uchiha's to watch!! YAYS! *does happy dance*