Alright! First chapter! So basically I hope you guys enjoy this? this is my first solo yaoi story so be gentle with reviews (which would be greatly appreciated). =]


Zexion sunk deeper into his chair and lifted the book closer to his face. He knew he'd be home any minute and he was trying to prepare himself sufficiently to ignore him. The door clicked open and pumping music oozed into the house, a horn honked and the tires squeaked as it sped away. Zexion took a deep breath and tried to focus on the words in front of him.

"Bye!" Demyx cried out and Zexion could picture him perfectly. Lanky body clad in skinny girl pants and black band tee shirt leaned against the door way, one arm outstretched outside, hand waving frantically and a silly grin plastered on his perfect face. Zexion shuddered slightly and tried to withhold his blush. "Hi Zex!" Demyx said and walked over, sat on the arm of the chair and draped his arm over Zexion's shoulders. Demyx leaned his face down and looked at the page with wide eyes. "Whatcha reading?" He asked in a pleasant tone and smiled at Zexion who again, shuddered lightly.

"'Wuthering Heights'." Zexion answered and gripped the pages of his book harder without thinking.

"What's it about?" Demyx asked and slinked down the arm rest and squeezed next to Zexion, practically sitting on his lap. Their thighs pressed next to each other and Zexion could've passed out. Demyx smiled at him again.

"I-it's a love story." Zexion replied, hoping Demyx hadn't heard him stutter. He looked at the smiling blonde boy and felt his heart start to pace as his pants started to feel a little tighter. He looked back down at his book, inadvertently closing his eyes and trying to push the automatic image out of his head. All he saw when he closed his eyes was Demyx from last summer. Demyx standing at the edge of the beach, his feet in the water, his face aimed up at the sky with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly opened in a slacked smile, his shirt and shorts in a rumpled pile a foot away. Demyx's chest was wet, glistening in the setting sun; he looked like he was glowing; his tight black boxer briefs snugly fit against him, outlining every detail of the boy. That was it. That was the moment Zexion knew that he was in love with this giddy boy.

"I love love stories! Is it good?" Demyx asked in excitement and ran his hand along the page, lightly moving his fingers along the words. Zexion tried not to wish that it was him that Demyx was touching instead of the book.

"It is. Very good." Zexion said and nodded as he allowed his gaze to now travel up the page, crawl along Demyx's hand and up his arm, over his shoulder and along the delicate curve of his slender neck.

"What's it about Zex?" Demyx asked and leaned his head down on Zexion's shoulder. Zexion's jaw tightened, his teeth practically grinding together now. Demyx had no idea what kind of torture he was putting him through day in day out. Demyx's hand still lingered on the page as he yawned. Zexion felt his shoulder shift with Demyx's stretched mouth.

"It's kind of...forbidden love." Zexion answered and he looked at the back of Demyx's head. He didn't dare move, not wanting to make Demyx scurry away, back to the hovel of his dark room with music seeping out under the door.

"That's the most amazing kind." Demyx said with another yawn, snuggling his head deeper into the crook of Zexion's neck and moving his hand off the book onto Zexion's thigh. Zexion clenched his teeth tighter and closed his book, digging his fingers into the leg that didn't have a wonderful, perfect hand laid on it.

"Yep." Zexion managed to utter with his eyes close tightly.

"Well, im gonna go to bed. Night Zex." Demyx hugged Zexion before standing, laying his hands on his lower back and stretching backwards, making his hips jut forward, the bones visible over the top of his tight jeans, his shirt riding up his abdomen somewhat. Zexion looked on with slightly widened eyes.

"Night Demyx." Zexion muttered quietly. Demyx smiled down at the boy in the chair and winked.

"See ya in the morning bro!" Demyx whispered loudly as he bounded down the hallway on his tiptoes. Zexion sighed. For a moment, just one blissful moment, he was able to pretend he wasn't a complete fuck up; to pretend he wasn't some sick fuck in love with his brother. What the fuck was love anyways? Just some stupid fucking word. At least that's what he tried to tell himself every day, night and minute of his life. Especially since last summer.

"Night." Zexion sighed again and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. His other hand, holding the book with his thumb marking what page he was on, suddenly allowed to go limp, making the book fall to the floor. It seemed almost in slow motion, the pages fluttering as it slowly whooshed down. He stood slowly, bent down to pick the book up and set it on the coffee table. He walked down the hallway soundlessly, the out of style shag carpet getting caught between his toes. Zexion pulled his jeans down after securing the door and then slipped his shirt over his head. He walked over to his bed, gently pulled the blankets back and maneuvered onto the bed. The pitch black room ached with longing. The whole room could feel Zexion suffering every night and it built up endlessly. Anyone who walked into the room would start to immediately feel down without knowing what was happening. They were absorbing Zexion's depression, soaked up by the room like a sponge then transfered to someone else to try and lessen Zexion's own pain. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on his breathing, but every so often, the image of a lovely beach day with an even lovelier boy standing at the edge of the ocean would flicker across his eyelids and he would unintentionally pout some.

~0~

Zexion finally felt himself start to drift off to sleep, his body feeling as if he was rocking along with the gentle waves of water lapping against the side of a boat. Until he heard the unmistakable sound of his door opening. His eyes opened like shutters being pulled violently open to let sunlight in. He turned his head over on his pillow and saw a tall, lanky blonde tiptoeing his way across the floor.

"Zex?" Demyx whispered and Zexion leaned up on his elbows to try and focus his eyes better on the boy in front of him. "Are you awake?" Demyx whispered a little louder, as if he wasn't awake before, he wanted, needed him to be now.

"Yea. What is it Dem?" Zexion asked and sat full upright now, wrapping his arms around his knees and leaning forward on them as Demyx sat on the edge of the bed.

"Can I sleep in here?" Demyx, without waiting for an answer, began to force himself into the space left on the edge of the bed. He laid down, his back pressed right against Zexion's thigh. Zexion's breath caught in his chest.

"Sure." He somehow achieved not stuttering or cracking his voice. Zexion laid back down, sliding his body over on the bed and in response to the new found excess room, Demyx slid over as well; his body was still touching Zexion's side. Zexion squeezed his eyes shut but felt a shift in the space around him. Demyx had turned over and was now facing Zexion. He looked over at his brother. How had someone who had come from the same parents turned out so different? They were twins, but very obviously fraternal and not identical. Sure, they both had delicate facial features. The same nose almost. They both had blue eyes, though Demyx's eyes were more like the ocean. Much more beautiful. While Zexion's eyes resembled a bright blue, shallow spring sky, Demyx's eyes were deep. They had...depth. That was the only way to describe them. Even through an idiotic grin, Demyx's eyes looked somewhat sad, as if he were hiding something. As if this boy who always seemed to be happy actually was keeping something deeper inside. That was the less obvious difference between them. The list of clear differences was enormous. Zexion was short while Demyx was tall. Zexion had dark grayish silver hair, giving him a somewhat stern look which had influenced his personality (or at least what others assumed to be his personality), and Demyx was a carefree blonde. "Is something wrong?" Zexion ventured to ask and Demyx shook his head.

"Remember when we were little?" Demyx whispered somewhat playfully and scooted closer to Zexion, making him feel somewhat dizzy.

"Which part?" Zexion replied with a gentle smirk, making Demyx roll his eyes and yet again, scoot closer.

"I remember we used to sleep in the same bed all the time. I used to have bad dreams and you'd let me sleep with you when I got scared." Demyx had a reminiscent smile on his face. He wasn't really looking at Zexion anymore, but more in him; searching his brothers eyes for a trace of remembrance.

"Well, what kind of brother would I be if i didn't?" Zexion asked back and swallowed roughly, trying to re-wet his throat.

"A bad one." Demyx giggled melodically and Zexion's heart beat quickened. This time when Demyx slid closer, he was practically on top of Zexion. He laid his hand gently on Zexion's bare shoulder and looked into his eyes even further. "You're a good brother." Demyx said and Zexion's eyes widened. "You're a good...everything." Demyx whispered as he leaned his face closer, slowly, slowly. Zexion didn't move. He didn't dare move. He didn't move when he could feel Demyx's warm breath against his neck or when his skin tingled under the sensation of Demyx's lips lightly pressed against his or when Demyx pulled back with a light giggle and leaned up on his hands, his head hovering above Zexion's. And when Demyx leaned down to kiss the side of his neck, Zexion simply closed his eyes and moaned quietly, not wanting to wake his parents.

Zexion shot straight up, a cold sweat broken out all over his body. He breathed heavily and touched his chest, feeling his heart trying to beat it's way out of his chest. He looked around his dark room with wide eyes, looking and praying and dreading for any trace that that had been real. It hadn't. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face and sighed.

"Fuck up." He whispered to himself as he stood out of his bed and slid his boxers down past his ankles and stepped out of them and into the bathroom connected to his room. He turned the faucet of the shower on and stepped into the cold water. This was the only way to do it. He had to get rid of it every time it happened, he had to train himself to NOT want his own brother. "I'm so sick of cold showers." He said with a sigh and heard a light knock on the door.

"Almost done Zex? I gotta get ready for work!" He heard Demyx yell through the door and he felt himself get hard again, even under the freezing water. He bit his bottom lip and he tried desperately to focus on anything but the boy on the other side of the door.

"Yea, gimme a minute." Zexion called back, feeling his voice about to crack at the end.

"Alrighty!" Demyx yelled again, and Zexion had to turn the water colder.


First chapter done! You likey? I personally do but I'm the writer so I don't count. ^_^' Again, reviews would be greatly appreciated. Any suggestions? Lemme know if you like/love/hate/despise it? Actually, if you despise it, don't tell me. That would be too upsetting. Also, I really don't want any yaoi bashing please. This is just entertainment k?