Author's Note: I haven't decided whether I'll continue or not, but I thought it would be rude if I only updated to tell you I wouldn't, so here's another chapter.
Second Author's Note: Oh yeah, I got Alice in Wonderland on DVD (the animated one, I don't support piracy…unless it's the Arrr! pirates), and it's chesh-er. Yeah! I was right!
Warning: Content is retarded and not meant to be taken seriously.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Alice in Wonderland, Japan, or Star Trek.
~Chapter 25-Unbirthday Parties and Hippie Santa~
Emmett: A very merry unbirthday to you!
Jake: To you!
Edward: A very merry unbirthday to you!
Jasper: For you! *hands unbirthday cake to Katie (me)*
Emmett: Now blow the candles out my dear and make your wish come true.
Emmett, Jake, Edward and Jasper: A very merry unbirthday to you!
Katie (me): Yeah! *blows out candles* Unbirthdays are awesome!
*Bella, Rosalie, Alice, and Nessie walk into the room*
Bella: What were you guys just singing?
Nessie: I'm pretty sure I heard something.
Emmett: We were singing Katie the unbirthday song!
Jake: It's her unbirthday today, and tomorrow, and for a couple more months.
Nessie: Today's my unbirthday.
Katie (me): Are you aging?
Katie (me): TYhen you don't have a birthday. And if you don't have a birthday, then you don't have an unbirthday.
Nessie: That made no sense.
Rosalie: Katie, give me the drugs.
Katie (me): What drugs?
Rosalie: Okay, give me the alcohol.
Katie (me): What alcohol?
Alice: Um…okay then. You're naturally like this?
Katie (me): *eye twitch* Like what?
Jasper: I want the unbirthday cake! *attacks Katie (me)*
Katie (me): Help!
Emmett: You know, there's this person in Japan, and he was born on the same day as me. But I'm confused—who's older? Me or the Japanese dude?
Katie (me): *still being attacked by Jasper* I said help!
Edward: You're an idiot, Emmett.
Jake: Wait a minute, he's right.
Nessie: Who's right?
Jake: well, both of them, but I meant Emmett. Who would be older?
Rosalie: Well, Japan is about a day ahead of us, so he's been alive a day longer than you…
Bella: I think that if he came to west coast, then he would be older than you, but when he goes to Japan, he's the same age.
Katie (me): I said help!!!
Jasper: *now sits on floor eating the unbirthday cake*
Katie (me): He stole my unbirthday cake!
Alice: Just make another one tomorrow.
Katie (me): *huffs, and goes to corner to pout (now the Pouting Corner)*
Emmett: So we're the same age, as long as we're in our own time zones?
Bella: I think so.
Bella: Okay, Spock, do you have a better idea?
Edward: …Your idea's good.
Santa: *poofs into room in a puff of smoke shaped in a peace sign* Merry Christmas, man.
Emmett: *rubs eyes* Am I hallucinating again?
Rosalie: What on earth…?
Santa: Hey man, fight the power. *gives peace sign*
Jake: Is Santa a hippie?
Nessie: Santa! *runs up and hugs him*
Santa: Spread the love!
Nessie: Santa, where are your reindeer?
Santa: Reindeer? *laughs* I got here with Falcon Man.
Alice: Falcon Man?
Falcon Man: *poofs in; has the head of a falcon and wings* Someone summoned me?
Santa: This is Falcon Man. Fight the power! *Falcon Man and Hippie Santa fistbump*
Bella: Okay this is getting weird…
Alice: And it wasn't weird before?
Falcon Man: *tries to steal some of the unbirthday cake, which Jasper is still eating*
Jasper: Hiss! Hiss, hiss! *moves hand in a claw-like motion*
Falcon Man: *makes weird sound*
Rosalie: What was that?
Falcon Man: A falcon call, duh.
Emmett: You're like the brother I never had. *hugs Falcon Man*
Edward: Emmett, Jasper and I are your brothers.
Emmett: Yeah but he's like the brother that I never had. He's not like either of you.
Katie (me): *wakes up from dream* Whoa…that was weird. Falcon Man? Santa as a hippie? Weird.
*huge falcon rips off the roof of the house and plucks Katie (me) out*
Katie (me): *screams* Help me!
Falcon: *eats Katie (me) in one bite*
Nessie: *wakes up from dream*
Jake: Hey, Nessie. Did you have a nice dream?
Nessie: *smiles* Best dream ever.
Author's Note: Well now that's not very nice. And did anyone else notice that if you rearrange the letters in Santa it spells Satan? That's a little creepy. Thanks to LoVe-WiLl-fInD-a-WaY and team-jacob-furever for the skit ideas. And does anyone know what the difference is between a hit and a visitor on the story traffic thing? I haven't the slightest idea (Alice in Wonderland reference!).
Reviewing causes zombie-immunity. So when the zombies come for us, I'll be zombified because I couldn't review. You could make a difference. Be like Will Smith in I Am Legend…well, not the part where he dies, but the other part…you know…the part where he lives…Anyways, bye.