Author's Note: I haven't decided whether I'll continue or not, but I thought it would be rude if I only updated to tell you I wouldn't, so here's another chapter.

Second Author's Note: Oh yeah, I got Alice in Wonderland on DVD (the animated one, I don't support piracy…unless it's the Arrr! pirates), and it's chesh-er. Yeah! I was right!

Warning: Content is retarded and not meant to be taken seriously.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Alice in Wonderland, Japan, or Star Trek.

~Chapter 25-Unbirthday Parties and Hippie Santa~

Emmett: A very merry unbirthday to you!

Jake: To you!

Edward: A very merry unbirthday to you!

Jasper: For you! *hands unbirthday cake to Katie (me)*

Emmett: Now blow the candles out my dear and make your wish come true.

Emmett, Jake, Edward and Jasper: A very merry unbirthday to you!

Katie (me): Yeah! *blows out candles* Unbirthdays are awesome!

*Bella, Rosalie, Alice, and Nessie walk into the room*

Bella: What were you guys just singing?

Edward: Um…nothing.

Nessie: I'm pretty sure I heard something.

Emmett: We were singing Katie the unbirthday song!

Jake: It's her unbirthday today, and tomorrow, and for a couple more months.

Nessie: Today's my unbirthday.

Katie (me): Are you aging?

Nessie: No.

Katie (me): TYhen you don't have a birthday. And if you don't have a birthday, then you don't have an unbirthday.

Nessie: That made no sense.

Rosalie: Katie, give me the drugs.

Katie (me): What drugs?

Rosalie: Okay, give me the alcohol.

Katie (me): What alcohol?

Alice: Um…okay then. You're naturally like this?

Katie (me): *eye twitch* Like what?

Bella: Okay…

Jasper: I want the unbirthday cake! *attacks Katie (me)*

Katie (me): Help!

Emmett: You know, there's this person in Japan, and he was born on the same day as me. But I'm confused—who's older? Me or the Japanese dude?

Katie (me): *still being attacked by Jasper* I said help!

Edward: You're an idiot, Emmett.

Jake: Wait a minute, he's right.

Nessie: Who's right?

Jake: well, both of them, but I meant Emmett. Who would be older?

Rosalie: Well, Japan is about a day ahead of us, so he's been alive a day longer than you…

Bella: I think that if he came to west coast, then he would be older than you, but when he goes to Japan, he's the same age.

Katie (me): I said help!!!

Jasper: *now sits on floor eating the unbirthday cake*

Katie (me): He stole my unbirthday cake!

Alice: Just make another one tomorrow.

Katie (me): *huffs, and goes to corner to pout (now the Pouting Corner)*

Emmett: So we're the same age, as long as we're in our own time zones?

Bella: I think so.

Edward: Illogical.

Bella: Okay, Spock, do you have a better idea?

Edward: …Your idea's good.

Santa: *poofs into room in a puff of smoke shaped in a peace sign* Merry Christmas, man.

Emmett: *rubs eyes* Am I hallucinating again?

Rosalie: What on earth…?

Santa: Hey man, fight the power. *gives peace sign*

Jake: Is Santa a hippie?

Nessie: Santa! *runs up and hugs him*

Santa: Spread the love!

Nessie: Santa, where are your reindeer?

Santa: Reindeer? *laughs* I got here with Falcon Man.

Alice: Falcon Man?

Falcon Man: *poofs in; has the head of a falcon and wings* Someone summoned me?

Santa: This is Falcon Man. Fight the power! *Falcon Man and Hippie Santa fistbump*

Bella: Okay this is getting weird…

Alice: And it wasn't weird before?

Falcon Man: *tries to steal some of the unbirthday cake, which Jasper is still eating*

Jasper: Hiss! Hiss, hiss! *moves hand in a claw-like motion*

Falcon Man: *makes weird sound*

Rosalie: What was that?

Falcon Man: A falcon call, duh.

Emmett: You're like the brother I never had. *hugs Falcon Man*

Edward: Emmett, Jasper and I are your brothers.

Emmett: Yeah but he's like the brother that I never had. He's not like either of you.

Katie (me): *wakes up from dream* Whoa…that was weird. Falcon Man? Santa as a hippie? Weird.

*huge falcon rips off the roof of the house and plucks Katie (me) out*

Katie (me): *screams* Help me!

Falcon: *eats Katie (me) in one bite*

Nessie: *wakes up from dream*

Jake: Hey, Nessie. Did you have a nice dream?

Nessie: *smiles* Best dream ever.

Author's Note: Well now that's not very nice. And did anyone else notice that if you rearrange the letters in Santa it spells Satan? That's a little creepy. Thanks to LoVe-WiLl-fInD-a-WaY and team-jacob-furever for the skit ideas. And does anyone know what the difference is between a hit and a visitor on the story traffic thing? I haven't the slightest idea (Alice in Wonderland reference!).

Reviewing causes zombie-immunity. So when the zombies come for us, I'll be zombified because I couldn't review. You could make a difference. Be like Will Smith in I Am Legend…well, not the part where he dies, but the other part…you know…the part where he lives…Anyways, bye.