Firstly, I am so sorry for not updating in so long but school's really busy this year and I have exams coming up so I can't make any promises about frequent updates! Sorry!

But, I managed to find some time and write this. And yes, I know it's the day after Halloween but oh well does it really matter?

As always, please review with comments or ideas.

I don't own anything.

Chapter 16

Bella walked in the door to be confronted with the sight of Charlie slumped asleep in a drunken stupor over the kitchen table. Again. Sighing, she made her way upstairs.

*****************The Next Day**************************

Bella awoke to find the kitchen empty as Charlie had decided he would rather nurse his hangover from the comfort of his own bed. After breakfast she jumped (fell retardedly) into her truck and crawled her way to Port Angeles. After hours of searching for clothes with Alice, she eventually reached home. Bella and Alice parted with a hug and Alice wishing her 'good luck!' and Bella made her way up to her room.

Around 5 Charlie was able to stand and so dragged his podgy ass downstairs for some aspirin. After some gratuitous drug use he felt an awful lot better. As he sat contemplating his plans for revealing the Cullen's identity, he heard footfalls on the stairs.

It took his slow brain a long stretch of time to come up with an explanation for what he saw. Bella walking downstairs with an overnight bad slung over her arm – dressed in a nun's outfit. The long black robe fell down to her knees and the veil on her head trailed demurely down her back. Her make-up free clear innocent eyes looked at Charlie.

She stood at the bottom of the stairs, patiently waiting for Charlie's brain to catch up with her own.

Charlie scratched his head.

He hummed.

He hawed.

Several more minutes went by.

"OH! Happy Halloween Bells!"

Finally.

"Thanks dad! So, I'm just going to be heading off to the Cullens party now, BYEEEE!"

Bella made a run for the door but Charlie grabbed her. "What? Party? At the Cullens? PARTY AT THE CULLENS? PARTY WITH THE CULLENS! NO WAY!"

Bella could see his panic escalating and acted quickly. "Dad! Calm down! The whole of our year is going! There will be lots of people so therefore lots of people to witness the party so no one will be doing anything bad! Anyway, come on, do you really not trust me dad? I'm so hurt!" At this point Bella turned on the waterworks. The tears, coupled with the fact Charlie simply could not be suspicious of his daughter while dressed as a nun made him say,

"Well, okay then. But no drinking, no drugs and no Edward!"

"Sure Dad, but Edward's my boyfriend so you can't stop me from being with him!" Replied Bella quickly making her way out the door.

By the time Charlie had processed this Bella was halfway down the drive and as she drove away he yelled;

"You're a nun Bella! Abstinence! ABSTINENCE!!!!!!!!"

Once her car had disappeared from view Charlie caught sight of Mrs Dunn across the road, glaring at him. Glaring back, he turned back inside.

Meanwhile, Bella had driven to the Cullen's house. She pulled up the driveway and as she rounded the corner she could see the multitude of cars out front and the flashing lights from inside, and hear the pounding bass of the music. Grinning, she walked up to the door and rang the bell. The door instantly opened to reveal Emmett who grabbed Bella and swung her round. She giggled in delight and greeted him, complimenting him on the accuracy of his Count Dracula costume.

She then turned her attention inside. The entire room was packing with people swaying and jumping to the music. She tried hard to recognise her school friends but the costumes made it difficult. All she could see where zombies, ghosts, slutty bunnies and the occasional fake – and real – vampire.

Bella pushed her way through the crowd, bumping into Jessica the playboy bunny, Mike the Roman Soldier and Angela the witch. Finally, she felt strong cool arms around her. She turned to see Edward the Greek god staring down at her, resplendent in his toga. After a thorough eyeing up of his body, Bella kissed him hello on the cheek and he grinned back. However, as his eyes trailed downwards the grin faded. Over the din of the music he shouted;

"Em, Bella love, what on earth are you wearing?"

"I'm a nun! Duh!" Bella shouted back.

Edward hastily backtracked "Oh, okay, I see, well, you look stunning my Bella. I love the, uh, robe on you."

Edward began to turn and pull her with him and he could have sworn he heard Bella whisper "Oh believe me you'll love it even more when it's off me!"

Edward dismissed it as the music was distorting his hearing and managed to make his way to the makeshift bar that Jasper was tending. Jasper made up a compliment about Bella's outfit and Bella praised his zombie outfit. Jasper handed Edward a beer and he passed it to Bella.

"Hope you're not a lightweight!" He said jokingly.

Bella grinned and chugged the beer. Once she was done she grabbed Edward's hand and began to drag him upstairs.

"Where are we going Bella?"

"You'll see!" Bella purred.

Edward began to feel a little uneasy.

Half a minute later they reached Edward's room where the music was reduced to only a distant dim pounding. Edward put on some of his beloved emo music and sat down on his couch with a sigh.

Bella however was about to implement her plan.

"Edward, I have a confession to make. I have not been completely honest with you."

Edward's head snapped up. "What?! GOOD GOD DID YOU HAVE CARNAL RELATIONS WITH THE DOG?! I SWEAR TO GOD BELLA I WON'T STAND FOR-"

Bella cut him off. "No! Of course not!"

Edward relaxed into his sofa, relieved.

"But, I did lie to you about my outfit."

"Your outfit?" Edward questioned, perplexed.

"Yes." Bella purred. Trying to be seductive. She was now standing right in front of Edward.

"This nun's outfit is not my actual costume."

"Well what is?" Edward was still very confused.

Without warning Bella jumped onto Edward's lap, straddling him. Edward was rooted to his seat in shock.

Bella's eyes were dark and triumphant.

"This is."

Bella reached for the bottom of her robe and quickly and easily slipped it over her head to reveal her true costume.

A stripper's outfit.

Edward's eyes widened and he was too shocked to move.

Bella leaned forward, pressing her lingerie-clad body against Edward, who was desperately trying to avert his eyes but everywhere he looked there was red and black lace or bare skin.

"Bella! This is not an appropriate way to behave! You are a young lady!"

Bella felt her confidence waver for a moment but then told herself that Alice had said this would work when buying her the lingerie that afternoon.

"I know right! I'm so naughty! I think you should punish me!"

At this point it was all too much for poor Edward and he pushed Bella off his lap, horrified, and raced downstairs.

Bella picked herself dejectedly up off the floor, feeling rejected and unwanted.

'God! I can't even seduce my own boyfriend! What kind of girl am I!'

Drowning in self pity she made her way downstairs. She stumbled her way through the revellers, getting many cat calls and whistles from her fellow high school students at her new attire. Upon finding a cup of vodka she snatched it up and downed it. Then she stumbled upon some gin. Down her throat. Bacardi Breezer. Yum. A cocktail. Nice. Ten minutes later, things got a little hazy for Isabella Marie swan.

Edward meanwhile was in the kitchen with Esme, explaining the situation and she offered some motherly advice.

"Now Edward, that girl has needs. And they are not the kind of needs easily forgotten. You are going to have to do something to satiate her, but a little bit of distraction would go a long way. Take her out for dinner, go for a hike. Just keep her busy."

"Okay, thanks Esme" said Edward, slightly embarrassed.

As he went back into the main room where the party was still in full swing, his mouth fell open at the sight in front of him. Up on the table next to the DJ was Bella. Semi-clothed Bella. Swaying her hips, jumping up and down and tossing her hair and generally dancing sexily in a drunken way. The entire room was watching, the guys egging her on, some girls cheering, others yelling, "SLUT!" The rest of the Cullens were just watching in amusement.

Bella was oblivious to the attention and was just practicing the moves she was going to show Edward, forgetting in her drunkenness she was in a room full of people in only a bra and knickers. Edward shook off his shock and shoved his way through to Bella, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her off the table to cries of disappointment from the guys, and yells of "HAHA Bella, Edward wants a piece of that!" – From the girls!

As Edward carried the struggling, rambling, drunken Bella through the crowd he thought to himself, 'can this night get any worse?'

At that very moment the doorbell rang and Tyler wrenched open the door to reveal the Volturi. Marcus, Aro and Caius stood in the doorway in their black cloaks with their red eyes, flanked by a dozen Volturi guards who looked similar. The entire room fell silent as all turned to stare at the new arrivals.

Then, after a few heart beats Jessica screamed, "YAY! STRIPPERS!"

At this the entire room exploded into noise once again and the shocked Volturi were dragged into the room by the drunken high school students. They were stripped of their cloaks and given drinks which they refused. But, the atmosphere was infectious and the Cullens watched in disbelief as five minutes later the Volturi were half naked, jumping up and down and singing along to the songs in Italian.

Many hours later after the Volturi, Bella, the Cullens and the rest of the revellers had done the Macarena together, most of the guests had left, leaving devastation in their wake.

The Volturi picked up their clothes and as they were heading out the door Marcus said, "Hey Carlisle! Thanks for a great party! See you next year, yeah? Oh, by the way, no worries about Bella, change her whenever you want, as long as she's still willing to show us her awesome dance moves!" The Volturi guard cheered in agreement and they all disappeared into the darkness.

The Cullens were all laughing under their breath at Bella who was rolling around on the floor singing "Disturbia" by Rihanna. Edward rolled his eyes and picked her up, carrying her to his room and depositing her on the sofa.

"Right, sleep that alcohol off Bella."

"'kay Eddy poos! I'll sssssssseeeeeeee you in the morning lover boy!" slurred Bella drunkenly and she quickly fell sound asleep.

Edward sighed and sat down by his stereo, hoping to enjoy some of his favourite music.

"Mmmmm yes Edward do that again! MMMhhhh!"

Bella was talking in her sleep.

It was going to be a long night for Edward Cullen.