[A/N:] I apologise for the length of time it took me to get this up and also for the really boring ending.

The next chapter is completely non-existent. I don't even know what I want to happen next in this story. So the next update will be even longer. I am sorry.

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Chapter 8


Was that what I thought? That he didn't want me? Yes. Sort of. Maybe. I pulled up at Emily's. My father was in there, who I hadn't seen in over 15 years. Who hadn't seen me in over a decade and a half. What if he didn't like me? What if he didn't want me after all? Would I be a disappointment to him as much as I was to my mother?

But he did want to see me. That was something. Wasn't it? I wasn't accustomed to parental love at all so I couldn't understand why he would want to see me.

"I don't know if I can do this Quil." I stated almost hysterically.

"Of course you can Claire. Everyone in there loves you." I looked up at him as my eyes filled with tears. Again. "I'll be there with you Claire." Damn those words meant the world to me and I couldn't even bring myself to resent that. Instead I found myself wanting to tell him everything, like I had before. Because I knew I could trust him.

"But Quil, right now I'm a mess… worse than I've ever been. Right now I'm a walking contradiction. I didn't know I had a dad until this afternoon. I didn't know I had a whole damn family until today…" My admission was a huge relief even if I felt broken.
"I left here earlier without saying anything and I didn't have any plans to come back. As I passed the border I turned my back on everything and now here I am again. I'm lost Quil. I have no idea what's going on now." I was over the shock of being able to talk to him so easily even though I hadn't ever opened up to anyone like this.

"Claire I don't know what to say. I wish I could somehow make you feel okay. There's nothing wrong with feeling lost or confused. It's expected and understandable. Just come in okay? I…it's just that. You belong here…you …you have friends and family here and life hasn't been the same since you left." He sounded vulnerable as he pleaded with me.

Hadn't been the same. Could I really believe that? It was fifteen years ago. They had moved on surely? I looked at his pleading stare. Did he care that much for my dad and Emily or…or had it affected him a lot? No, surely not. How could it? He was only my babysitter from what I knew, he only lost of a small income.

"Why?" I asked him before I could stop myself. He looked confused. "Why hasn't it been the same?" His expression was again pained. I wanted to comfort him like he had done for me but I found myself more desperate for his answer.

"It was hard Claire. So hard on everyone, you were- are loved very much."

"But I was a child, I could barely talk. How could it have never been the same? My mother continued on and so did I- …oh."" Now I knew, now I understood. I had never been content anywhere except for when I was here. In La Push and more specifically: with Quil. Maybe that was why it wasn't right

"But it always felt like, like something wasn't there…" Quil said. Like something was missing.

I stared at him "Like something was missing." I mumbled. We were caught in an intense stare that I didn't want to break. What was it about him? Why was he so...different? A range of different emotions flickered across his face before he averted his gaze. He moved to open his door and I decided that I wanted to be as close as possible to him, followed.

He walked towards the house to the door. He braced his hand on the handle and turned to look back at me. He gave me a reassuring smile and opened the door and led the way into the front room.

Three people sat on the sofa's. Three people that I, without a doubt, recognised and knew. What was I supposed to do now? My nerves made my stomach knot and I was afraid I was going to puke before anything was said.

My eyes focused on my father who i Had unknowingly already talked two in the past few days. In fact I bumped into him at the garage, he knew me then just like I knew him. He looked right back at me. i saw tears fill his eyes and slide down his cheeks, he didn't even try and blink them away. I wasn't quite sure exactly what emotion or emotions as the case was for me caused him to cry but I felt it too.

I felt every month, week and day that I never got to see him. That I never got to laugh with him or cry with him. Every moment I missed was gone and I didn't even know what they would have felt like.

They were waiting for me to say something and I didn't know what I was doing. In fact at this moment in time I didn't even know who i was.

I eyed the door and tried to calculate how long it would take to make an excuse and leave. Not long enough with Quil's long legs it seemed. I felt selfish by thinking about leaving but I was stood in front of my alternative life.

My dad seemed to notice the looks however and gave me a small smile. A really nice small smile that should have been the thousandth one I had received and not the first I could remember. The tears only fell harder then and my sight was now completely blotchy until i felt a movement come towards me and two comforting arms wrap me in a tight hug.

I sobbed shamelessly into my father's chest as I was assaulted by the familiarity of it. His scent and comforting feel wrapped around me and I brought my arms up to hug him back.

He relaxed a little and it was a long time before either of us made a move to let go.

We moved over to the sofa and I realised that we were now alone. I pulled back. What was I supposed to say? I saw my dads smile and I gave him a watery smile back.

"Claire. Its so good to see you. I've missed you so much and you're all grown up now." He said before wiping a stray tear.

"I'm sorry." I blurted.

"Claire! What do you have to be sorry for?" He asked as he reached over to take my hand.

"Its just that- we left and- and. She told me you were...dead. And I believed her. I should have known. I suppose I did know, there were no pictures and she never answered properly but I never did anything."

He stared at me for a second. "Claire you couldn't have known. "The sadness in his eyes made me tear up again.

"Why did she do it? Why would she do something so horrible?" He looked uncomfortable.

"I...well...I can't say, she never said anything. I just came home and you were gone, your things and her clothes...they were all gone."

"But what would make her do such a thing? I mean its not like we were, well, I wasn't really happy there. I- I can't understand it!" I sat back against the chair and closed my eyes. I was mentally and physically exhausted. My mind slowly shut itself down without my permission.

I remembered hearing hushed whispering an then I felt something warm pick me up and move me before I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

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