A/N: Yeah I know I suck with the updates, but I hope everyone enjoys this! Now let's find out what made our favorite heartbreaker commit the insane crime of stealing Hunter's hammer. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I still don't own anybody. Sadly, they all own themselves.Summary: Hunter has a problem. Someone's done the unthinkable and stolen his sledgehammer. Will he find who stole it? Or will he be forced to...*gasp* start using a new weapon?
Shawn shrunk back from Hunter, now seriously terrified of his friend. "Come on Hunt. You said you wouldn't be mad at me." He pouted and even made his lower lip tremble for added effect. This usually would have gotten Hunter to do anything he wanted, but he was too pissed off to even notice.
"That was before I found out YOU PAWNED MY SLEDGY! What the hell could have possibly made you do that?!"
As soon as he said that, everybody else took their seats in the room, eagerly waiting to hear Shawn's tale of what happened. Hunter may have found his thief, but he was still without a hammer. Somewhere in the back of their minds they felt sorry for their resident heartbreaker, but then again, they had been trapped in a hotel room for a little over five hours because of him, so they decided to ignore it.
"Well I'm waiting buddy." Hunter said, tapping his foot impatiently. "Before you tell your story I'd really like to why you did this."
"Would you believe I was an undercover agent and your sledgehammer was a piece of evidence in a case I'm working on?"
"Nope. Try again Shawny."
"Well...how about Vince threatened to fire me unless I split you up with your hammer?"
"Keep trying." Hunter said.
"Ummm...I needed to pawn him to buy food for my dogs?"
"Shawn! You don't even have any dogs! Just tell me the truth!"
"Fine!" Shawn sighed and looked back up at him, teary eyed. "I'm really sorry Hunter! It was just...I had always...I had never seen a hat that cool before!"
For a few moments the room was completely silent. The ability to speak had suddenly left everyone. "Now let's get this straight..." Hunter started. "You pawned sledgy because you needed money to go buy a new hat?"
Shawn nodded. "I lost my wallet, so I didn't have any of my credit cards or cash. I couldn't ask you because you were still mad about the time I stole your wallet to go buy my other new hats, so when I was taking sledgy to the hotel after your match I got the idea then. I just really wanted that hat and before you put all the blame on me it was half Taker's fault too. He got the craving for ice cream stuck in my head and the hat I wanted had holders for ice cream cones on both sides!"
Hunter just shook his head. "I really wish you would have told me this time Shawn...cause you gave me your wallet the other day, so you wouldn't end up losing it again!"
"Ohhhhh." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I do seem to remember something like that happening. That actually makes sense."
Hunter chuckled and soon the chuckling became full blown laughter. When the laughter started to border on hysterical, everyone else backed away until it was just him and Shawn. "Makes sense he says. Can remember something like that happening he says."
While Hunter kept kept muttering to himself, Taker decided to take over. "Shawn you can't blame me for your ice cream problem. Nobody told you to go pawn Hunter's hammer to get an ice cream carrying hat."
"but...but...that's not the point!" Shawn shouted. "That's not even the real reason I pawned his hammer. It was just an added bonus. Besides, if Hunter had told me he had my wallet, none of this would have happened!"
"So why did you do it?" Taker asked.
Before Shawn could answer, Hunter pushed Taker out of the way. "So now know its my fault?!" Shawn's slightly homicidal friend growled. "Look here heartbreaker, I'm gonna give you ten minutes to tell your story, tell me what pawn shop my sledgy's in, and how you are gonna get him back. Understand?"
Now Shawn knew he was fighting a losing battle, but the smart ass in him just wouldn't shut up. "And if I don't? With the way you're treating me now, I shouldn't even tell you which pawn shop I put him in!" he shot back.
Instead of shouting, strangling, tying him up, or hitting him with a blunt object, Hunter... began to laugh again. It wasn't by any means an insane laugh. It was a completely normal 'I have no reason to strangle my best friend and everything is good' laugh. It scared the hell out of Shawn.
"If you don't explain yourself, I won't have to do anything to you." He then gestured to the nine extremely pissed off wrestlers standing behind him. "I can't, however, promise that they won't. Don't forget that you're the reason they have been trapped in a hotel room for almost six hours and had to reliever the terrors of dealing with sledgy. I'm sure if I can't come up with something to do you, they will."
As if noticing them for the first time, he waved shyly at them and smiled. "Hey guys." When all he heard was growling and everyone starting to move towards him again, he realized that if Hunter even moved an inch, he was dead meat. "Fine! You said ten minutes right?" Hunter nodded and Shawn sighed, "Well this is what happened..."
Shawn stood tiredly backstage while he waited for Hunter to come back. He was bored, really bored. Being backstage was never fun when he didn't have his partner in crime with him. His eyes turned to the long case sitting in front of him. "Well since Hunter isn't here, I get to cause trouble with you Sledgy."
He grabbed sledgy and immediately began to come up with crazy ideas to use him for. He grinned at the case. "Now Hunter will be back from shooting his promo soon, so sadly I don't have much time to cause trouble with you." The sound of yelling caught Shawn's attention and peeked out of his door.
As he watched the Hardys fight in the hallway, he noticed that Miz and Morrison's door was wide enough for him to slip in unnoticed. He looked at the case again. "I just found the perfect thing to do with you." He quietly snuck behind John and Miz and dropped sledgy on their couch before hiding in one of the lockers.
He watched them come back inside and struggled to keep himself from laughing when Morrison sat on sledgy. His respect for the Miz grew in that moment. He was one of the few guys on the roster that wasn't crazy enough to mess with sledgy. Now Morrison on the other hand...wasn't that smart.
"Whatever. Let's just get this match over with so we can come up with a plan to get some ransom before we return the hammer." John said as he walked out with the Miz.
Shawn listened to the door close and then stepped out of his hiding place. It had been awhile since he'd had this much fun. He quickly grabbed sledgy out of John's bag and poked his head through the door, making sure the coast was clear. He tiptoed back into their locker room and jumped when he came face to face with Hunter.
"What are you doing with Sledgy, Shawn?"
"Umm...well nothing actually. Since you were busy, I needed something to do, so I was just taking a walk backstage with sledgy."
Hunter looked at him and scoffed, "Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"Well...yeah if you don't mind."
"Shawn" Hunter started, "You know how much trouble he can cause when neither one of us have him."
"I know that! Besides I promised I wouldn't cause anymore trouble with sledgy unless you were in on it too."
"Alright. I believe you for now. Now give me sledgy so I can go out for my match." Shawn gave the hammer to Hunter. Before leaving he turned back to him and said, "I need you to do me a favor after the show."
"What is it?"
"Shane needs me to stay and go over somethings about the next PPV and I don't want you to have to stay that late, so could you take our stuff to the hotel when I come back from my match?"
Shawn nodded his head vigorously. This meant he had more time to play with sledgy. "Sure. No problem Hunt." He handed the hammer over to Hunter and watched him as he left the room before plopping down on the couch and staring at the clock. "Only ten minutes to go."
"So that's why you were in such a hurry to get me out! I'm never leaving sledgy with you again!" Hunter shouted.
Shawn pouted, "I keep telling you it wasn't my fault! I was bored. Since you weren't there I didn't have anything to do."
"So you expect me to believe that everything is my fault because you can't keep yourself entertained?"
Hunter took a deep breath and said calmly, "Shawn just finish the story so I can go get my hammer."
"Fine! Well your match was taking too long, so I decided to wait for you in the hallway. I knew I had to act fast because Miz and Morrison were gonna leave any minute and I had to finish up my plan..."
Shawn grinned happily when he saw Hunter coming down the hall with sledgy in hand. Eagerly, he ran over to his friend, grabbed sledgy, and kept running past him out into the parking lot. This left a very speechless and confused Hunter standing in a cloud dust that had came up from Shawn's rapid movements.
Shaking his head, Hunter just kept walking into the locker room, "Sometimes it's better to just not ask with him."
Outside, Shawn was looking around, making sure he was the only one outside before running over to Morrison's jeep. He grinned when he went to lift open the trunk and found that it actually opened. "I hope those two never learn to completely close a trunk."
As he was placing sledgy in the car, he heard the sound of a door opening and could see the shadows of two people. He slammed the trunk closed and began running to the other side of the lot, he would have to find out what happened to them when he got to the hotel.
When he finally saw them pull out onto the road, he had to quirk his brow at what he saw. He couldn't make out what they were, but he could see what looked like a bunch of small, yellow hopping cotton balls in the car. He couldn't help himself and burst out laughing, "I love sledgy! I wonder if Hunter would let me keep him with me permanently from now on." As they drove to the hotel, another thought struck him. "How exactly did those things get in there anyway?" After thinking about it for a few more moments he decided he didn't care and kept driving.
When the three of them finally got back to the hotel, Shawn decided that whether Hunter liked it or not, he was keeping sledgy. Especially, after he got a good look at the Miz when he got out of the jeep. As it turns out, the yellow cotton balls were baby chicks and were completely glued to every inch of him. "Serves him right!" Shawn muttered to himself as he hid behind his car, waiting for them to go inside. "Told him he shouldn't have made fun of me losing my hair."
"Hold on a minute!" Miz shouted as he stood and pointed an accusing finger at Shawn. "You did all of this to us because I made fun of you for going bald?!"
Instead of answering, Shawn stood up and smacked him. "Why are speaking of this?! I told everyone that we would never speak of that again!"
Cena tried next, "Shawn, he's just sayin is that why you--" before he could finish, Shawn smacked him too.
"What part of never speak of this again don't you people understand?!"
Hunter had enough. He then stood up and whacked Shawn on the back of the head. "Answer the damn question already!"
"Yeah. I put sledgy in your car because you talked about my hair." he muttered while rubbing where Hunter had smacked him.
"Good. Now that we got that out of the way," he stared menacingly at his audience while continuing, "If anyone of you even thinks of interrupting Shawn again before he can finally tell me where sledgy is, as soon as I get him back, I'll happily duct tape him to whoever caused Shawn to stop telling his story, understand?" A muttered chorus of "yes" was heard throughout the group and Hunter turned back to Shawn. "Continue...at a faster pace if possible."
Shawn just glared at his friend, "You're lucky I was getting to the good part. Now I hadn't noticed it when we first got to the hotel that day, but there was a pawn shop across the street from there. When I was taking out of Miz and Morrison's car, the big flashing lights on the sign distracted me and I had to go inside..."
The flashing lights had entranced him, he had never seen anything that bright before...well he really had but the lights were calling to him and he had no choice but to go over there. Shawn grabbed sledgy and the rest of their bags and walked hypnotically across the street and into the store.
Inside, the effect of the lights wore off, but he started looking around anyway and that's when he saw..it! The silver cowboy hat was on the head of a mannequin that also had on a feather boa that looked suspiciously like Hogan's, but Shawn decided to think about that later. What really caught his attention was that on both sides of the hat there were these little cone shaped holders, which in Shawn's mind were the perfect size to hold ice cream cones. He had to have it.
Shawn picked up the hat and took it over to the counter. "Excuse me? How much is this hat?"
The lady behind the counter turned and leered at Shawn, showing him a gold toothed smile. The lady looked to be in her fifties, was a bit on the heavy side, and had one of those beehive hairstyles from the 50's. "My name is Bertha. Now how can I help you again?"
Shawn backed away a few steps. The way she was staring was starting to scare him. "Ummm...how much is this hat?"
Bertha glanced down at it. "Fine choice here sexy. This hat is one of a kind, but for you, I'll consider parting with it for five hundred."
"You're gonna charge me five hundred dollars for a hat?!"
Bertha nodded, "Yup."
"Deal." Shawn dug in his pockets for his wallet and came up empty, then searched his bags and came up empty again. He pouted. "I'm having a bit of a money issue today. Can I come back and pay you tomorrow. I'm staying at the hotel across the street if that's any help."
She grabbed the hat and began sticking behind the counter, "Sorry, but I don't take IOU's." She gave Shawn the once over again. "But...I have this stereo over here and I may be willing to compromise if you'd be willing to do a little dance for me."
That almost made Shawn bolt out of there right then, but he really didn't want to leave his hat behind, but he didn't have any money. Just as he was about to give up, a thought struck him. "What if I could give you something that is owned by a real WWE superstar?"
Bertha gave him a thoughtful look, "What do you have?"
Shawn picked up sledgy and muttered, "Forgive me Hunter." He put sledgy on the counter. "This is Triple H's sledgehammer. It has to be worth something."
She picked it up and gave it a through inspection. "I still don't believe you. Prove it to me."
"I'm Shawn Michaels! HBK, the showstopper, Mr. Wrestlemania, the icon, the main event, the headliner! How else could I get his hammer if I didn't work with him!"
She squinted at him and pulled on her glasses, "Well I'll be. You are Shawn Michaels." She shrugged. "Alright. I'll take it." She shoved the hat back over to Shawn and took the hammer. "Enjoy your hat sexy!"
This time there was nothing stop him from high tailing it out of the shop. Grabbing his bags, he sprinted back across the street, hearing Bertha's cackling laughter all the way back.
"...So because you couldn't ignore a bunch of flashing lights, you ended pawning my hammer for a hat that has ice cream holders on the sides?"
Shawn nodded, "Yeah. You wanted the story and this was the story. You happy now?"
A slow and obvious evil grin began to spread across Hunter's face. "Do you remember what else I asked you for in those ten minutes?"
"Yeah." Shawn began to count off on his fingers. "You wanted to know where sledgy was, why I pawned it, and how I was gonna get it back...I don't have to take my hat back do I Hunter?"
The game just shook his head, "No. I have a better idea." He grabbed Shawn by the collar and began dragging him out the door. He turned back to the others, "Grab my camera and that CD next to the TV." He looked back at Shawn, "Time to go back and see Bertha, buddy."
Bertha stared at the group in front of her in confusion and shock. "So let me get this straight..." She pointed at Shawn and then at Hunter. "He stole your hammer and pawned it without your knowledge, and because you didn't know where it went, you held all of these other guys hostage until someone would finally come clean?"
Hunter nodded, "Basically, so can I have my hammer back?"
"An item as rare as that? What are you gonna give me for it? I can already tell you its gonna take more than bringing me that hat back for you to get your hammer."
Hunter's evil grin returned in full force. "Instead of bringing the hat back. I'm gonna do you one better." He leaned over to her and said, "What if I could promise you a little striptease from our very own Heartbreak Kid over here."
She grinned, "Now you've got my attention." Shawn looked on nervously as he watched his friend talking with the crazy shopkeeper.
When he finished, he turn back to Jeff who put the CD in the stereo next to him, and Shawn's entrance music began playing loudly throughout the store.
Shawn just turned and gaped at him, "Come on buddy, you can't be serious about this can you? You of all people know I can't dance!"
"I don't really care about that rightn now. She wanted a dance, so you're gonna dance." He smiled and snapped his fingers at him. "Time to work it sexy boy!"
Ten minutes laughter and great deal of laughter later, Hunter walked out with sledgy held tightly in his hands. He glanced at his camera, "At least whenever I get bored , I'll have something to entertain me." He called back to Shawn. "Come on Buddy! We gotta get up early tomorrow."
Shawn poked his head out of the door before hurrying out. As part of the deal, after his little dance, Bertha got to keep his clothes, so all he had to cover himself with was his cowboy hat. "This isn't fair Hunter! You could have at least let me keep my pants!"
Hunter just laughed and kept walking. Taker tapped Shawn on the shoulder. "You really brought this on yourself Michaels, but tell me, did you learn anything from this?"
Shawn thought it over before nodding, "Yeah. I need to learn to stop trying to look innocent whenever I do something, I always seem to get caught that way."
Taker sighed before his face broke out in a grin to rival Hunter's. "Maybe this with give you a little incentive to learn to never steal from one of us!" With that, he grabbed Shawn's hat and tossed it to Cena. "Run Cena! Run!"
Cena took off running with Shawn hot on his tail, but before Shawn could catch him he tossed the hat to Matt. "Guys! Give me my hat damn it!" Shawn shouted as he chased after them, "Come on! I'll never do this again!"
The others just grinned at him before taking off again. "Sorry Shawn." Jeff said as he tried to catch up with his brother. "We probably won't believe you until we get back to the hotel!"
Shawn almost froze in shock as he realized what Jeff had said. "You can't be serious? Guys...?" When no one answered, he began to run to catch up with them. "DAMN IT YOU GUYS!"