A little thing I cooked up after a false prediction at mayalucille's summary of Real Men Buy Tampons (Skip Beat). Great, cute fluffy story for anyone who's a KyokoxRen fan!
Edit : 5/5/09 Published for Luffy's birthday! Sorry if it seems a little rushed and/or short. I may or may not edit it over periods of time after I'm done, so yeah. I only had an hour and half to finish! Anyway, enjoy!
"You know I love you, right?"
"Shi shi shi, I know."
The couple was currently snuggling together in Luffy's room on the Thousand Sunny, shielded from the eyes of their nakama. Captain and navigator slept together in Luffy's room, easily the largest in the entire ship. The Mugiwaras had been traveling together for three years now; more than enough time to... get to know each other better. And of course, by get to know, I do mean it in an innocent way of course.
Outside, the early morning sun was beginning to peak over the horizon, signaling the start of yet another day of their endless adventures. The sky was splashed a soft purple, pink, and blue hew that was light enough to lull one to sleep yet bright enough to wake one up. Scattered across the stretch were tiny fluffy white cumulus clouds in the shape of random things ("Oh look, there's a cloud in the shape of beli!" Nami exclaimed excitedly as she gazed out the window.) The light slowly worked its way onto the deck of the Thousand Sunny, creeping into the rooms of the unsuspecting crew members, who each in turn groaned and turned in their sleep (except Robin, who continued to sleep peacefully, and Sanji, who was already up).
It was at this time that Nami exited from her captain's quarters, fully clothed, and walked out onto the lush green yard that Franky had installed. Stretching her arms behind her head, she yawned, leaning over the railing as she watched the waves lapping at the sides of their precious Sunny-go, playing with the ship, guiding it. Even though it was literally the crack of dawn, she could already smell the scrumptious breakfast that Sanji was surely preparing for that day. She allowed a small smile to creep up onto her face as she thought about their particular crew, the crew of the Pirate King, and just how spectacular they all really were.
By the end of the Grand Line, their crew had reached a grand total of over a billion beli; a feat unimaginable for this time period.
The captain, Pirate King "Straw Hat" Monkey D. Luffy – 600 million.
First mate, "Pirate Hunter" Roronoa Zoro – 420 million.
Nico Robin – 120 million.
"Black Leg" Sanji – 200 million.
"Cyborg" Franky – 90 million.
Chopper – 75 million.
"Sogeking" Usopp – 80 million.
"Cat Burglar" Nami – 85 million.
Brooke – 95 million.
Now, six years since the original five had set sail from East Blue (claimed to be the weakest of the four blues, but look now!), the now party of nine voyage around not only the Grand Line, but around all five seas.
Now, as she reached for the telescope on the desk that she always had in hand, she smiled. This telescope was new; in fact, it was a gift from her ditz-brain of a captain for her 22nd birthday. It was a dull orange—her favorite color, in fact, with a chrome finish. It could be adjusted so that she could see 50 miles away max, an amazing distance considering her measly old telescope could only spot 10-20 miles away.
It was now when she raised said telescope to her right eye and shut her left, squinting into the glass lens. Spotting a tiny sliver of a half-circle bump caused her to let out a smile.
"Nami-swwaaannn~! Would you care to have a cocktail martini with a lime on the side, complete with ice and a pinch of mandarin peel*?" Sanji cooed, wobbling over to the orange-haired navigator with said drink perched precariously on a tray, looking as though it was ready to capsize from Sanji's constant wobbling.
Nami giggled and happily accepted the glass. "Thank you, Sanji-kun."
Sanji, overcome with delight, did his little noodle dance and pranced off to offer the same thing to Robin, who also took the drink in her hand.
"Oi, Nami, how much longer 'til we get to the island? I might need someone to check up on Wadou Ichimonji; it's been acting up lately," Zoro called, striding onto the deck from the kitchen. He peered around in a scrutinizing manner, once more glaring disapprovingly at the ero-cook's attempts to woo the females.
"Probably another hour or so," Came her elated reply. In reality, she was in no hurry to land. After all, the sea was where they all lived, as pirates; it was where they breathed, where they danced, where they slept, where they cried, where they had their good and their bad times. She reveled in it.
In her opinion, the hour passed all too quickly. Luffy was sitting on the Sunny-go's head while Zoro worked out in the crow's nest above them. Sanji was in the kitchen cleaning the dishes, Usopp and Franky were tinkling with their gadgets, Brooke was playing with Chopper near the front of the deck, and Robin was sitting off to the side, her face buried in yet another history book. Meanwhile, Nami sat across from Robin, studying the island they were about to dock at, all the while sipping the delicious martini that Sanji had whipped up for her.
"Ah! Nami, we're here!" Luffy announced excitedly, jumping off the Sunny-go's head without a moment to spare. Nami heard the others shouting after their captain, scolding him for going ahead without any planning, but she just sighed. It was his impulsiveness that made him this way; they all knew it, so why bother even trying?
"Zoro, lower the anchor," She said almost monotonously. In actuality, he'd already done it and was currently climbing down the rope and onto the wooden docks.
"I will be the sentry for today! Not a mouse will pass my eyes! Even though I don't have any eyes! Yohohohoho!" Brooke called out. The rest of the crew just nodded as they, too, began their descent into this new city.
"Hey guys! Don't forget to be back by sundown!" Nami called after them. She received grunts and "yeah"s in reply as the rest waved their hands to signify that they'd heard her. Nami sighed, climbing down the rope ladder on the side of the ship herself.
Nami jumped off once she had only a few rungs left, somewhat thrilled by the prospect of yet another town. After all, she did need more ink and mapping paper. And maybe some more navigation books, and maybe more history books for their next island?... Lost in thought, she ambled into the crowded town.
"Wahoooo! This town is so coooooool!" Luffy exclaimed as his eyes bulged at the tall skyscrapers made of steel and glass, the cafes with umbrellas over outside tables while couples enjoyed their meals. He tilted his head up as he stared into the billboards that were scattered across the towering buildings, absolutely enthralled about how people could even reach that height without a Devil's Fruit!
There were shops everywhere, selling everything you could think of; pharmacies containing unlimited medical supplies, clothing stores with the latest trends, weapon shops with lethal looking swords on display, apothecaries with poisonous looking fumes swirling around inside. There was even a pet shop, filled to the brim with barking, meowing, chirping, screeching animals that Luffy had never even seen in his life!
"Wahh!" He exclaimed as he ran up to a small, random shop to his northeast. This store had many little trinkets on display; ruby earrings and diamond necklaces, gold bracelets and silver rings! Luffy had considered going in to buy something for Nami (because there was no way she was going to ignore this store when she passed by it anyway, might as well buy something legitimately for once) but decided against it.
As he turned around and was just about to leave, he couldn't help but overhear a couple giggling together.
"...So hun, tonight, right?"
"...don't forget to bring a condom."
Luffy's brow creased. What was a condom? He'd heard Nami say it once, when he suggested having sex. But all Nami did was turn red and admonish him about the importance of condoms, and how it made them able to NOT have "little Luffy's and Nami's running around".
It was then Luffy asked Nami what was so bad about little Luffy's and Nami's running around.
Nami then smacked her forehead with her hand and dropped the subject.
Well, Luffy then decided. I'll just show Nami that I can handle this condo thing! And off he went into the local pharmacy.
Luffy couldn't decide!
He was totally baffled by which one to choose!
There were two boxes, side by side, each 300 beli. Not the price mattered, of course. Not to Luffy the Pirate King! But he just couldn't decide! Which one should he buy?
Luffy stuck his tongue out, deep in thought as he folded his arms in front of his chest and looked at them long and hard again.
One box said "TROJAN CONDOMS : Protect yourself!" on it. Luffy understood that much. So this was a condo- box thingy, right?
But then there was this other box.
This was what confused Luffy.
The other box had the words TAMPON written on the front, but on the back, it clearly showed a woman's vagina with what looked suspiciously like a man's... thing stuck up it.
And so Luffy was confused. He still couldn't decide!
"...Sir." The voice startled him. Luffy came face to face with an angry employee at the cashier, with an annoyed expression on his face. "Are you going to choose one or not? There's a line of customers waiting behind you." Luffy turned around and was amazed at the line of 30 or so angry people grumbling to themselves at having to agonize in this little pharmacy.
"Oh. Oops! Sorry, sorry," Luffy apologized, a grin spread across his face as he laughed wholeheartedly. It was then that he looked out the window and saw that sun was setting. Oh no! He thought in dismay. I have to choose fast, or they'll leave without me... and I don't doubt that. The pirate king shivered at the horrible memory.
"Sir. Would you please choose now?" The cashier growled, tapping his fingers on the counter impatiently.
"Ah! Right! Okay, I'll choose... this one!"
As Luffy stumbled onto the deck of the Sunny-go with a plastic bag gripped in one hand, Zoro couldn't help but wonder what the captain had brought this time.
"Oi, Luffy, what'd you got there?" The first mate called, eying the package skeptically.
"Shishishishi, that's only for Nami to know!" Luffy replied, a grin spreading across his face.
The green-haired swordsman raised an equally green eyebrow in question. Nami? Why Nami?
However, a certain ero-cook interrupted his thoughts, sticking his annoying blonde head out along with his stupid magic eyebrow. "Oi, shitheads! Dinner's done!"
The swordsman grunted and forgot about the whole Luffy-thing as he headed into the kitchen. Beside him, Luffy screamed, "MESHIIIIIIII!" He dragged the poor bag behind him as he bolted into the kitchen for his daily portion of dinner.
Dinner passed by quickly; it was normal, Luffy trying to grab everyone else's food while gulping down his, but to no avail.
Later on that night, Luffy waited until 11 PM to pull Nami aside in his room. Nami, needless to say, was confused. Until Luffy pulled out what was in the plastic bag and revealed it to her.
"See Nami! I have condos! So now we can have sex, right?" He said excitedly, nearly bouncing up and down in anticipation.
Nami choked on her spit as she tried to refrain from laughing.
She reached out and took the box, giggling to herself quietly. Gently, tenderly, she placed a hand on his cheek. "Yes, Luffy, we can have sex now." Nami leaned in for a kiss as she threw the box of tampons on the floor behind her. It was then she realized that it was stupid little things like this that made her love him.
*I totally made up that drink. In all honesty, that sounds absolutely disgusting (orange peel in a drink?) and I don't think there'd be any way I'd want to even go near that drink, even if it was made by Sanji.
A/N: So yeah! I'm sorry if this seems rushed. I seriously was in a rush to finish it. My stupid computer kept freezing the document after a while, and I almost lost the whole thing. I ended up restarting my computer which took up 10 minutes... and yeah. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, but hopefully it's good enough for you guys! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LUFFY! ...And me. (: Review please!