Title: I Knew I Loved You

Author: Yoshimara(slavetosuicide)

Rating: M

Pairing(s): VincentxCloud

Warning(s): Songfic, yaoi, fluff, slight angst, lime, hints of lemon, some language

Disclaimer: Square Enix owns FFVII and it's affiliates. Savage Garden owns the lyrics. Yoshimara(slavetosuicide) owns the plot and all OCs (characters, places, etc.)

Summary: I remember the first time I laid eyes on him. He was so gorgeous laying there, eyes closed as if to shield himself from the outside world.

A/N: This is a giftfic for ohxasphyxiationx, a very talented writer and a very sweet woman. Enjoy!

~*Cloud's PoV*~

It's been a year since the remnant incident and Midgar was still repairing the damages. I still have the scar where that bastard Loz shot me. It didn't hurt anymore, which I'm glad for. But today I am sitting on the ledge with Zack's Buster sword marking the place where he took his last breath, Fenrir parked a few feet behind me. The sunset on the horizon is painting the sky in breathtaking hues of yellow, orange, purple, and red. I chuckle quietly to myself when I look up at the colors. It's kinda funny, really because every time I see that color I think of him.

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

I remember the first time I laid eyes him. It was dark and damp in that basement room of the ShinRa mansion, I was wary of my surroundings. But what I found was so surprising that I couldn't help but stare at him. He was so gorgeous laying there, eyes closed as if to shield himself from the outside world. His long dark hair and crimson headband framed his abnormally pale face artistically, soft pallid lips barely parted with each silent breath he took. I stood there watching his chest move, as if trying to convince myself that he really was alive. Crimson and black leather covered his well-toned body making my stomach flip. I remember thinking it was a very strong and strange reaction.

I had noticed the golden claw-like gauntlet on his hand, it was menacing but for some reason it fit him. I didn't know who this man was, and all I knew was that I wanted to. If he was trapped here, I wanted to save him; I wanted to take away all the pain he had ever endured. When I looked back at that hand that gleamed in the low light, I had the fleeting thought of what it would feel like on my hot skin.

I knew I had more pressing matters at hand, such as Sephiroth running rampant but in that moment I wanted to wake the man in front of me. I wanted to touch him, talk with him, learn what his favorite things were. I wanted to hide him away from the world where I could soothe him and never let harm taint his soul. And I also wondered—were his eyes as gorgeous as I imagined? Or would they show insanity and rage?

When I reached out to touch his claw-clad hand his eyes flew open staring straight at me, and I swear to Shiva that I died right then and there. My hand hovered maybe an inch away from his, slightly trembling but not in fear. Was I anxious? Even now I'm not so sure. But when I looked into those eyes, I felt a weird presence of déjà vu in the back of my mind. They were the most beautiful shade of red I had ever seen, like lively rubies with bits of obsidian and topaz gems within. Those orbs held so much pain and sorrow, it was like looking into a mirror. Minutes later when we had gotten ready to depart, I realized that I found something wonderful.

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

Months later since I met Vincent Valentine we had been through so much together; Sephiroth's demise, trying to protect the planet from Meteor, rebuilding Midgar from the Weapons attack. We got to know each other over the time. I knew all about his affair with Lucrecia and his self-loathing for her demise. I learned about Chaos and how some days its overwhelming while others it's barely noticeable. But I never judged him. He knew about my guilt for Zack and Aerith's deaths, about my low self-esteem because of my SOLDIER days. I was grateful that he didn't judge me, either.

Recently, I've heard Tifa say to the others that we were so much alike that it was disturbing. We both were socially inept, and preferred solitude rather than crowds of people. Our pasts make us wary of peoples intentions, whether it's called for or not. Not to mention we had lost our loves to ShinRa in the past, be it by experiment or by an army of men. I never paid her comment any mind, though. What mattered to me was that we understood each other. We could hold wordless conversations from across the room. Silence was—still is—our connection, and now it makes me smile to think of how naive we both were. Vincent really was—and is—something else. Even though we rarely spoke a word to each other, our eyes and actions spoke volumes of it and it was amazing.

And there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

And during the fight with Bahamut that was summoned by the remnants in the middle of Midgar, we all fought hard. I know that I would never have been able to get as far as I have without my friends and lover at my side. Even with the scars, they make me proud just knowing that all of our hard work paid off in the end.


It always amazed me how skilled Vincent was with combat. The way his gloved hands held his guns with pride and resolve, how his face never gave away to his emotions in the heat of battle. He was so graceful and athletic when he was dodging offensive maneuvers, not to mention down right sexy. How the leather stretched just right on his torso, his claw and boot coverings glinting in the light, his crimson headband catching the sweat so it wouldn't drip into his beautiful eyes.

The way his body moved always pulled me in and left me begging for more. And when his hand clasped mine it was like an electric current shooting through me. Deep down I knew I could drown in that feeling for all of eternity. When Kadaj and his brothers were finally dealt with, I sat in Aerith's old church thinking about that delicious touch. Was I going insane? Or was my mind so confused that my body had taken its own charge?

What did it all mean? So I began to piece it all together, trying to make sense of it all; the odd but pleasurable feeling in my stomach, the slight nervousness every time we were together. Tt was all so foreign to me. Almost an hour of mulling it over in my mind before I came to the simplest conclusion.

I know that it might sound more than a little

Crazy but I believe

I love him. I have ever since I first laid eyes on him while he slept peacefully in that mansion. I tripped on my own two feet and fell hard for him. With that realization came a bit of relief, knowing that it wasn't just some mental breakdown that should have happened at this point. Of course, I had to let him know. He deserved to know, didn't he? But I could always keep it to myself. It wouldn't change anything if he didn't know. But wouldn't it be considered lying? What was I afraid of? Insecurity is one of my major issues, always fearing rejection. Was that it? Did I think I could handle the rejection?

I knew he was skittish around human compassion; I don't blame him either. Between losing Lucrecia and becoming an experimental toy for Hojo and locked away in a basement for thirty years, it was amazing that he hadn't gone insane. But instead he takes the weight on his shoulders and carries his burdens without issues. Or maybe he thinks like I do; maybe he thinks that one day he'll wake up to find out that none of this ever happened.

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I don't regret meeting him. But what if things were different? What if Sephiroth didn't go insane like he did and threaten the planet? Would I still have found and fallen for him? I like to think that it was inevitable that we met, most likely. As I rose from my perch in the broken down building, the sun had begun to set and I caught sight of the object of my musings. Vincent stood on the second floor directly across from me, leaning against a broken pillar with his shoulder, arms crossed over his chest in a relaxed manner, his red cloak and a few strands of hair flowing lazily in the vague breeze. My stomach lurched pleasantly at the captivating sight. Our eyes connected. There was an immediate spark and all of a sudden I had jumped the gap between us and landed in front of him. My hands moved on their own and gently cupped both of his pale cheeks gently.

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

His skin was refreshingly cool against my gloved hands. It looked so soft and flawless in the dim lighting of the sunset, it made his crimson eyes shimmering in contrast with his dark hair and ghostly skin. Not a word was spoken but our eyes said all that was needed. Those ruby orbs held emotions I never thought I'd ever see in them; love, tenderness, and fear. Why would he be scared? Did he think I would hurt him? My heart sank when I realized that it was a possibility. My thumbs caressed his silky chilled flesh soothingly, a faint smile on my lips.

"Vincent," I said, barely above a whisper, "I will understand if you reject my heart. But I'm always going to love you. I'm never going to leave you." And when those words lifted into the air, our lips connected, his hands gripping my wrists loosely. I never thought he would taste so addicting, the flavor couldn't be described in mere words. But if I had to, it would probably be a mixture of cinnamon, raspberries, and honeyed tea leaves.

There's just no rhyme or reason

Only this sense of completion

We made love right there in the church. I had a vague notion that maybe Aerith was watching, but I didn't let it bother me, especially when his tongue bathed me in places I never thought would feel so good. We both hit our peaks, grunting and moaning one another's name before collapsing in a heat of sweaty limbs and quivering flesh on the hardwood floor. I was cradled in his arms, every nerve in my body on fire. As I lay there panting, I realized that I finally felt happy, complete, safe—things I hadn't experienced in so long that I forgot they existed. His fingers ran along my spine and I looked up to see him watching me with half-lidded eyes. His face was as expressionless as ever, except for the faint pink flush on his face, but his eyes had a light in them that I never wanted to see dim.

After a few minutes of resting, we rose and redressed, preparing to take our leave. Sharing another simple kiss, I looked back into those eyes and I thought I felt something in my chest click. It was in Vincent that I found where I belong, unprejudiced and secure. Giving him a small smile and a reassuring hand squeeze, we parted ways.

And in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for

I think I found my way home

The weeks went by with little to no action and soon our little circle knew about us. It didn't bother me and it must not have bothered Vincent since he was the one that announced it. I had never seen Tifa and Yuffie so upset, not even when Sephiroth had attacked what they held dear. Needless to say they didn't talk to either one of us for a week. But by then they realized that if we were happy, that's all that mattered.

Cid didn't care that much, which I anticipated. He just looked at us with his piercing blue eyes, an unlit cigarette pursed between his lips. His brow furrowed in concentration before he bit out,"No sex in my garage, got it Blondie?". Fine by me, it just means my garage has another use other than to shelter Fenrir. Although I highly doubted Vincent would have wanted to fuck me in my garage. And when I voiced this, he proved me wrong. We spent so much time together that it was like we couldn't survive without one another, which was possibly true at that point.

I know that it might sound more than a little

Crazy but I believe

Months went by and our love kept growing. He was the perfect being, my everything.

So now I sit here watching over the large city in blissful silence. My lover is off on a mission and he will be returning home today. I tilt my head back and look up at the now starry sky, thinking back to our first kiss making me smile. Everything about him makes my heart soar, even the little things like the way he bites his bottom lip when he's thinking, or when he's cooking dinner he makes sure to have the ingredients set up in alphabetical order beforehand.

"You look happy today, Cloud."

Looking over my shoulder my smile grows wider at the sight of my lover standing by Fenrir, completely unharmed and healthy. His long dark hair caresses his cheek in the gentle and cool evening breeze. Those crimson eyes were holding such a shine to them that at first I think he's crying, but it's just the light playing tricks on me. The wind brings his cloak up a few inches, letting it wave in the air like some kind of greeting. Rising to my feet, I take gliding strides to get to him.

"Welcome home, love," I say before kissing him softly.

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

I used to wonder what I did to deserve the punishment of protecting the planet. Was I cursed? Did the Gods have something personal against me? Didn't I deserve to be selfish like everyone else once in awhile? But right now I decide that the torture was worth it while I watch Vincent slink down on one knee and fish something out of his pocket. Is he...? My brain freezes when I realize what's about to happen. This is all too much! I can't possibly handle all of this happiness.

"Cloud," he says in that deep baritone voice that always gives me goosebumps. "We have been through so much together, be it good or bad. At first I thought it was my mind playing tricks on my senses.

"But when you kissed me that day in the church a year ago, I was so happy to have found someone like you; someone who doesn't judge me for who or what I am, who doesn't blame me for past mistakes. You have given me everything I could ever ask for and more. I love you so much, Cloud Strife."

A thousand angels dance around you

He opens a small black velvet box to reveal a simple white gold band. It feels like my heart has stopped when I gaze on the ring. I could clearly see engravings on the inside of the band and they made my heart begin to beat again painfully. "I'm always going to love you." is what I had told him a year ago, and that's what the engraving reads. My eyes look up to his face, wide and unguarded. I'm completely speechless. How could something this amazing happen to me? I search his ruby eyes for any hints of it being some sort of prank and found only the pure everlasting love and desire there.

"Will you marry me?"

Even though I know that the question will be asked, it still makes me gasp. Tears spill down my cheeks and my heart feels like it will break out of my ribcage. It all still feels so surreal, like I'm in an alternate universe watching what will unravel if it were in my own world. But this was taking place here and now. This wonderful man in front of me whom I share all of my secrets and fears, along with my happiness and love, doesn't want to just drop me like trash. He wants me by his side forever and always.


I am complete now that I found you

When he slips the ring on my finger, I can't keep the large grin off of my face. It feels like I'm about to burst with all this glee that as soon as he is back on both of his feet, I pounce. Jumping so I land with my legs around his waist and arms around his neck, my lips dive for his with vigor and passion. My hands run through the dark strands of hair that I love so much. It always feels so silky smooth that I can't help but caress it. I still can't believe this is happening to me! I don't even want to think about what my life would be like if I never met him.

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

We sit underneath the stars in each other's arms, talking about the future. Coming to the agreement of our living arrangements, which is to be a small cabin on the outskirts of Midgar. We both will be keeping our jobs, and every weekend we'll be able to just roam around the solitude of the wilderness. Nothing has ever sounded so much better than anything I could ever imagine.

Looking up to the sky, a smile on my face, I sigh as I burrow deeper into my lover's embrace. If only Zack and Aerith could see us now, I think as I close my eyes, reveling in the warmth and security that surrounds me. A warm gentle breeze sweeps across us both and I snap open my eyes and sit up. Is it really...?

Looking up towards my lover I can see the question in his eyes. I smile gently, knowing that my eyes have to be bright with excitement as I touch his cheek and whisper when my lips are almost on top of his.

"Zack and Aerith wish us luck."

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life