What Might Have Been

Disclaimer: I own nothing , except the order the words are in and the spelling mistakes.

As Dean sat at Bobby's table listening to the yelled no's, curses, threats and Banging while Sam paced back and forth in bobby's demonic panic room. He allowed his mind to wander back, back to his and Sammy's Childhood, sure they hadn't been the best of times. He thought of all the crappy motels they had slept in and that's if they were lucky some nights they had to sleep in the Impala, he also thought of the Christmas that he had stolen the neighbors' presents.Sam had deserved a better childhood, but they had some good times too Dean couldn'tHelp but chuckle as he thought about all their prank wars they'd had Sammy had been bald for weeks after the Nair incident. Dean's thoughts next wondered to what could have

been Sammy had been so happy with Jess hell he saw that when he had went to get Sam to

help him fin dad. He should have just had a beer and put Stanford in his rear view mirror.

Sam would probably be a lawyer, be married to Jess, hell Dean would probably have a little

niece or nephew by now. But no Dean had to drag Sam along; the truth was Sam blames

himself for Jess's death but it was actually Dean's fault. Dean always felt that if Sam had

stayed at Stanford he would have gotten himself and Jess out. If Dean had just left Sam alone

none of this would have ever happened Sam would have never had to go back to hunting,

Sam would never have been taken by that yellow eyed bastard, Sam would never have died,

Dean would never have had to trade his soul; not that Dean wouldn't have traded his soul again

for Sam. But the whole point was that Sam would never have met Ruby, never started messing

with his powers, never been addicted to damn demon blood. But what cut Dean so bad was the

accusation Sam had yelled at him while under the sirens spell 'that he was weak' because he

really was the only thing dad had ever asked of him was to take care of Sam watch out for him.

Hell he couldn't even do that dad wasn't even dead a year until he had left Sammy get killed,

True he had traded his soul and brought him back. But look at Dean Winchesters latest shining

example of failure letting Sam sneak out and use his powers and drink that bitch Ruby's blood.

" You okay boy? You've been awful quiet." That was Bobby making coffee.

"I was just thinking…." Dean started

"Stop right there, I know what you're going to say and no it's not your fault." Bobby stated

" Sam never choose this he just wanted a normal ' apple pie life' and I drug him back to this

damn life he never asked us to lie to him and lock him up like some damn animal" Dean

practically yelled as he jumped up.

"Sit down you idjit." Bobby said as he brought over two cups of black coffee, he had put a

little whiskey in the coffee hoping to calm Dean down a little hell they could both use it right

now. He sat down across from Dean who picked his chair up and sat back down.

" Sam might not have asked for this life but where would you be without him?" Bobby

questioned.

" I would have done fine..." Dean started.

"Fine." Bobby scoffed "what about that demon on the plane you hate flying or that shapeshifter

or you're telling me that you would have found Roy La garange and actually visited him after

you electrocuted yourself?" Bobby questioned

Dean opened his mouth to speak and quickly shut it again.

" I'm not finished yet what about when Hendrix caught you or when your dad died?" Bobby

continued.

"That's what I mean Bobby, Sam has been there for me through all the rough times now look

at what I'm doing to him, he doesn't deserve this " Dean said with downcast eyes.

" Neither of you boys deserved such a rough life and neither of you deserve this, but Dean, Sam

has to be stopped you saw him yourself silting a demons throat and drinking the blood. " Bobby

said matter of factly.

"What am I suppose to Bobby?" Dean questions

"What am I suppose to do? " Dean yells followed by a sob.

Bobby watched silently as Dean's wall cracked and small splinters fell away, part of

Dean knew what was coming next but the other part wanted to protect Sam no matter what.

There had been a time in Dean Winchester's life when he had swore he would never do

Anything to hurt Sam; but after 40 years in hell things had changed. Bobby silently watched as

A few stray tears slid down Dean's face before he managed to get his wall back in place and

Turned to walk away.

"Look Sam didn't mean any of what he said he was under that bitch sirens spell, hell you were

too you can still fix things Dean just don't do anything stupid." Bobby called after Dean as he

headed for the door. Bobby wished there was more he could do or say to help it was going to

take a lot of work for to fix their relationship they were both so broken. Dean had spent 40

years in hell 30 of which being tortured and the last 10 torturing other souls, he had broken the

first seal that couldn't be an easy burden but neither could Sam's he had tried for a year to get

Dean out of his deal, but had to watch his brother be torn to pieces by Lilt's hounds and had

lived and hunted the last four months by himself he was the reason Dean had gone to hell to start

with .As Dean walked out the door he heard Bobby's word and for the hundredth time that

day wished he had never gone to Stanford, never dragged Sam back to this life then they

wouldn't be in this mess.

Thanks for taking the time to read this story.