Awwwwwwwwwww. :P Fun times.

Characters apart from Mr Eddie Kashun (*facepalm* I hate myself so much for that... XP) and Ms Waterhouse belong to Capcom

Miles woke up at about midday with what he could only describe as the hangover from hell. His mouth tasted disgusting and his head was pounding like... like... He remembered what he'd done to Phoenix last night and that was the most accurate comparison he could think of. Therefore, he didn't want to think any more.
His mobile started ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it with a groan.
"Mr Edgeworth?" Apollo Justice squeaked, "Where the hell are you?"
"I... uh..." he mumbled. He wasn't entirely sure. He couldn't remember why Apollo would've wanted to talk to him either. "Hello?"
"Mr Edgeworth, we are fucked! I've really needed you in court today!"
"Shit, the trial..." he mumbled.
"Mr Wright said..." he started.
"Oh shit..." he cringed.
"He said that you were feeling a little under the weather but you'd get to the court room before long."
Miles choked a little.
"Can you get here soon?" Apollo asked desperately.
A pause.
"No. I can't. I'm sorry. You'll have to do it alone."
"But Mr Edgeworth, please!"
He turned the phone off, clung to his duvet and cried softly, thinking about Phoenix.

He couldn't believe what he'd done. Thus his self-enforced imprisonment. Phoenix had been... perfect. Everything he could've asked for and more. So, why did he... Fuck! Fuck, indeed. Probably the worst part of it was that it turned him on so much, even just remembering the experience. It was a complete turnabout on anything they'd done before.
The venom fuelled their passion and it was almost like they were back in the courtroom... though obviously, the courtroom had never been quite so pornographic. Perhaps a few occasions where he and Phoenix would test each other's willpower with their glances during a trial and surrender in a toilet cubicle during a recess.
Miles couldn't keep his thought trail on track. Everything came back to Phoenix and the way things used to be.

He didn't know how many hours later it was, but Ms Waterhouse shuffled in, carrying the home phone.
"A Mr Hair Gavin wants to speak to you," she told him.
Before he could protest, she'd somehow put it to his ear and shuffled off already.
"Klavier," he greeted in a low whimper.
"Herr Edgeworth. I tried calling your mobile but it was turned off."
"Yes, that is correct."
"Well, me, Apollo and Herr Wright are all very concerned about you."
Miles simply sighed.
"Are you feeling well?" Klavier asked.
"Not particularly. And I suppose you've called to tell me I lost the case? Am I correct?"
"Well, fortunately for you and the client, our Apollo found that fatal flaw in a witness's testimony and then they broke down and confessed.
Miles sniggered slightly.
"But Herr Edgeworth, that is beyond the current point," he sighed, "What happened last night?"
"I see. A gossip call is it?" he hissed.
"Miles, we are all genuinely concerned!"
"Fucking ask Wright then!"
"Herr Edgeworth, he responded in a low growl, "I talked to him first. He said he wouldn't say anything without your permission."
"So, you thought you'd get your gossip fix straight from the horse's mouth?"
"Herr Edgeworth."
"Mr Gavin."
"Perhaps you need some help yet again."
Miles threw the phone across the room and burrowed deep under his duvet.

Another couple of hours later, the phone rang once again. Miles had been lost in a bitter daze but he found himself crawl out of bed to pick it up.
"Hello, I..." he answered hazily.
"Edgeworth, we need to talk about last night."
He found himself reply with a pathetic dry sob.
"I think that-"
Miles tore the batteries from the handset and returned to bed.

He couldn't pick out anything from Phoenix's tone of voice. So neutral, as if he'd called to inquire about his favourite colour. It was simply bizarre. Phoenix should be furious. But he had been so quiet... if possible, his softness was far worse than if he'd been screaming at him. It was like how Miles himself used to oppose Phoenix in court. He'd always hit the hardest when speaking in a calm concise manner.
The court room... Two things about the court room sprang to mind. Firstly, he decided he could never show his face there again for his hasty absence today. Secondly, could he find himself there anyway for what he did to Phoenix? It could've been considered rape by certain technicalities. Though, his recent spate as a defence attorney offered some comfort there. A slight alteration in context and it was clearly Phoenix who initiated the abuse.
Either way, he really didn't want to think about it. If it was rape, on either side, he had still enjoyed it and that was definitely not a road he wanted to go down. He started to feel sick again.

He hated himself so much right now. Everything he'd muttered in Phoenix's ear, he should've said to himself instead. He was the filthy little bitch. He confirmed the sentiment to himself by putting his hand down his trousers and imagining it was Phoenix.
"Are you okay?" he whispered, imitating Phoenix's once kind tone.
"I'm fine, now you're here," he replied, stroking himself slowly.
"I'll always be here... always... always... always... always... always..." he carried on, jerking harder each time he repeated the word.
"Phoenix!" he cried out. This somehow made him aware of exactly what he was doing.
Essentially, he was using the man as a sex aid. It had never really occurred to him how... invasive it was to think about someone he knew while doing this; even considering what had happened between them less than twenty four hours prior.
He was technically having sex by himself, but mentally, Phoenix was very much involved. Against his will. That sick feeling returned, even stronger than before.

He got up and walked towards the bathroom just incase he was actually going to throw up.
Ms Waterhouse was heading towards him, holding another phone handset.
"I think yours must've broken," she said, "A Mr Kashun wants to talk to you."
"I don't know a..." he started. He sighed then took the phone and answered anyway. "Hello, Miles Edgeworth speaking."
"Ah, Mr Edgeworth!Your recent return to the courtroom has been big news!" a middle-aged man replied.
He didn't like where this was going.
"I'm terribly sorry, but I'm not ready to start taking cases yet," he pointed out.
"Oh, no, you misunderstand me!" the man laughed, "I don't suppose you have heard of the Anaheim Law Academy?"
"Of course!" he gasped, intrigued.
"Well, I'm its principal," the man announced, "And I would be honoured if the legendary Miles Edgeworth would even consider joining my staff!"
He gasped once again.
"It's a guest lecturer job so it wouldn't require any training."
"I'd be... honoured!"
"Well, I'd like to call you in for an interview tomorrow. I've got another young man coming in for a position partnering yours. If you could come in for three o'clock, we could interview you at the same time and see how you interact."
"I'll be there!"
This was definitely an interesting anti-climax (so much so that he couldn't help sniggering at his bad pun).
Perhaps he could finally do something useful with his life again.

The next day, he spent compiling evidence of his foreign studies and his big cases, as well as deciding on his most exquisite suit and whether he should straighten or blow-dry his hair.
His resume was impressive, his suit was perfect and his hair was positively divine.
"Good luck, Miles!" Ms Waterhouse cheered as he prepared to leave the house.
"Thank you," he called back, walking down the garden path to the waiting taxi.
"It's time to stop being a sad pathetic mess!" he told himself.

He got to the academy a bit early. This could only be a good thing.
"Mr Kashun will be with you in a moment," the receptionist told him, "The other applicant hasn't arrived yet. Please take a seat!"
He sat down elegantly and waited.
"Ah, Mr Edgeworth!" a large well-dressed man greeted.
"Mr Kashun?" he asked.
"Yessir! But please, call me Eddie!" he laughed, "Looks like we'll have to start just you 'n' me."
"I have no problem with that!" he smiled, feeling pretty damned smug.

The interview was going well. Miles couldn't remember ever feeling so certain about anything outside a trial.
Then the door creaked open.
"Sorry I'm late. Had one hell of a time trying to get this stain out of my jeans."
"Wright!" Miles and Mr Kashun both exclaimed in conflicting tones.
"Oh, this could be fun!" Phoenix chuckled, removing his hat.
"Please, take a seat!" Mr Kashun smiled.
"Why is he here?" Miles whispered fiercely.
"He shall be your partner!"
"My... What?"
"You shall both give individual lectures but it would be fantastic for the students to see the two turnabout kings in action!"
There was nothing either of them could say to this.

They were now both employed. They just had to overcome the final confrontation.
"About the other night," Miles started. "It's okay," Phoenix replied softly.
"I didn't mean any word I said!"
"I know."
"I just... I just..." he muttered.
Phoenix interrupted him with a short sharp kiss on the lips.
Miles was stunned for a moment.
"I'm not saying we jump straight back into obnoxiously-in-love mode but..." Phoenix sighed, "We have been given a fresh start so... let's give it a shot!"
Miles simply blushed and nodded.
"That being the case, Wright," he started, "I'd like to take you out for dinner. Nothing fancy. You can even wear that atrocious hobo hat."
"Can't wait..." he replied.
They smiled bashfully at each other for a moment then looked away nervously.
"And not that I'm saying we will," Phoenix smiled, "But if we were to start having a sexual relationship..."
"Shush, Wright," he blushed.
"Could we try hating each other again? Just for a night a month? That sex was fucking incredible!"
"You are such a whore..." he sneered. The sneer quickly turned into a sincere smile. "And thank you."
"Thank me?" he asked, tilting his head to one sighed.
"For helping me what a masturbating nut-ball I am."
"You had to leave for eight years to figure that out?!?!"