Summary. . . . . . . . . A look inside Dean's head as he takes Sam to the panic room. Tag to The Rapture.
Disclaimer. . . . . . . . Do I really have to write this? I think y'all know by now I'm not their owners.
A.N. . . . . . . . . Sorry it had to be done by me too! The episodes ending was just too good not to add too, so here's my two pennies worth. I hope that you enjoy. Peanut x
"Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" I can feel my heart hyperventilating, thudding so hard against my chest, I'm certain that Sam must be able to see the movement of my shirt; yet outside I'm a stoic mask, calm, cool, casual. I know that this it the right thing to do, that this is the only way to save my Sam, that this is the only way to bring back the man my brother once was, but I'm torn. I hate myself for what I'm about to do, but that's nothing new for me, I've hated myself ever since I came back broken and changed, I can only hope that Sam will see that too, that he needs to do this, that he's no longer the man Jessica loved, the son that Dad would die for, the brother that I did die for, that he's now inhuman, unearthly, a monster.
I hang back as Bobby opens the door, a part of me still wanting to grab Sam's arm and take him so far away from here and hole up until everything turns black and crashes down around us, until the world ends and we return to nothing, but I know I can't do that, know that no matter where we go, no matter how well we hide all traces of ourselves, they will find us and the consequences don't even bare thinking off. So I quash my fears, my doubts and my worries, and stand there as Bobby speaks, my eyes welling as I'm unable to stop myself from looking at my brother's confused features. I cringed and jump slightly as the door is banged shut, wanting to push forward and thrust it back open again.
As Sam bangs upon the harsh iron, his voice cracking as he shouts out, I can only stand there staring, numb, defeated, crushed. My façade breaks as Bobby pushes the latch across the grill, effectively blocking my brother from my sight, Sam's pleas increasing as he cut off from everything but his small metal cell, My big brother instincts kick in and I go to rush forward, a firm hand on my arm stopping my from making what I have no doubt would be the biggest mistake of my life. My eyes close then, I can't allow Bobby to see how bad I am taking this, I have replace the stoic mask I've found so easy to wear; but images assault my mind, images of a Sam so young, so trusting, so innocent; of Sam crushed in the face of grief, determined in the face of the enemy; of Sam bloodthirsty, callous, a machine in someone else's war. I have to open my eyes again as those ravage my head. I keep telling myself it's not really the brother I would do anything for, each lie tearing another layer of my heart away, because I know deep down it really is.
I can't take anymore as Sam's pleas turn into anger, the rage bringing back memories of this other brother. I turn away and head for the stairs leaving Bobby to take the first watch, needing desperately to get away from this place, yet knowing I'll never go too far; Sam might need me, and whatever else he is, he's still my brother and the feelings I carry for him are still too strong to push away; so instead I sit on the front porch and gasp in huge lungful of fresh air as my emotions become unstuck. I look up to the night sky and ask for divine intervention, haven't I deserved this one request? Hasn't Sam? But the only answer I get is the grinding chirp of the crickets, and the faint bangs as Sam continues to pound the metal. Taking one last look up above, I turn and walk back inside, my emotions back in control, my game face back on, and my determination to save my brother my priority.
A.N. . . . . . . So how was it? Thanks as always for stopping by, catch you soon, Peanut x