Author's Note: YOU MUST BE FAMILIAR WITH SEASON 4 FINALE SPOILERS WHEN YOU READ THIS!!!!
K, now that that's out of the way. This is just me doing a little speculation around some spoilers for the season finale: "The End in the Beginning." Sort of inspired by the song "She is the Sunlight" by Trading Yesterday. But not really. I started writing this oneshot, then kind of incorporated some of the lyrics and the title.
I was struck by the muse, but more a fleeting idea than a full-fledged deal. That's why the descriptions and plot are/is a little vague.
The sinking in her abdomen almost brings her to her knees. Utter despair washes over her face before she can conceal it, and she knows everyone has already witnessed the betrayal of it in her eyes. Her every fiber.
The victim's murderer's identity is solved, if only with one insignificant anomaly. Insignificant to the others, but excruciatingly clear to her.
Her hand quivers at her mouth, but she never stops trying to conceal her shock. It's a losing battle though, so she flees the area. Wishing she'd never dared to look upon the death mask of this man. If only.
Then she'd never have known.
They… wouldn't know, then. But because of her, now they will. Love is to blame.
The others exchange startled glances at her escape. The hostess bows her head, eyes downcast pitifully. The frequent patron with the wild hair sets his jaw, hands resting on his hips.
Officer Saroyan shakes her head, at a loss. But awed, nonetheless. "She knows who did it."
The bartender nods solemnly. "Yes."
Saroyan spreads her hands, frustration overshadowing her fury. "But she said nothing."
"She won't," the hostess speaks up quietly, brown eyes heavy with the weight of what she knows.
The air is tense, serrated. Saroyan takes a step closer, trying to appear intimidating. "I need answers, Miss Montenegro," she growls. "Whoever's responsible murdered a cop, do you understand?"
The stares traded between the two women are brutal. Neither will flinch from their moral grounds. Officer Bray speaks up then, tentatively, expression quizzical. "But who would she be protecting? And why?"
The room becomes smothered in silence. All eyes fall on Jack Hodgins when the tacit writer speaks up.
"Think about it, man," he says gravely.
It doesn't take long, and everyone soon suffers the grim knowledge of revelation.
High up on the platform balcony overlooking his co-owned nightclub, Seeley Booth grips the railing tighter. His expression becomes coldly distant as his dark eyes scan over the small crowd far below. There's something hidden in the brown. A muscle flexes in his jaw.
When he hears the approaching footsteps, he angles away to intercept the sight of his visitor and finally lays eyes on his fiancé. All at once, the almost angry lines etched deep into his face alleviate, and he smiles. Genuinely pleased by her appearance.
But when he sees the tears and muted horror in her eyes, that smile slowly, gradually, fades away. Replaced by a rather bleak, knowing expression. He nods once in understanding, in forfeit, and his eyes drift away from her.
For awhile, everything remains at a standstill. An uncertain standoff.
He hates to see that sadness in her eyes and ruling her expression, though, and so breaks first.
"Did you say anything?"
Her bottom lip disappears between her teeth to still its quivering, and she shakes her head the negative. "No," she whispers.
He regards her almost curiously now, pivoting further to lean back against the railing.
She sniffs, inhales deeply. Shakes her head again. "But it won't take them long to realize."
He nods, and bows his head. He looks tired. "I know."
Standstill, again. Painfully quiet. Everything is agony now.
It's never quiet between them. Never like this.
At last, brown eyes glimmering just a little, he outstretches his hand to her in silent request. She barely hesitates, reaching out, smooth fingers curling around his. He pulls her gently to him and she collapses against his chest, burying her face into his neck. "I'm so sorry," she whispers. She's trembling, but eases just a little when his arms slowly encircle her. He's comforting her, and it's wrong. "Please… I'm so sorry you had to. This is all my fault."
He forces his features into stoic reflection, staring out at some point unknown. His eyes finally slide shut, and he presses a strained kiss into her hair. "I know you love me, Temperance."
"I do," she sobs. "I do, so much. But it was my fault. It should have been me…" She shakes her head, sinking further against him, fingers clutching desperately at the folds of his jacket. "God, you should have killed me."
He cringes. Blanching at the very thought. "It wasn't," he tells her quietly, voice low. "You felt remorse. He didn't. You wanted him to stop after the first time. He wouldn't."
They stay like this, for so long. But it mustn't be, for she speaks up soon after. Because she needs him to hear this. "You have to run. They'll know, Seeley. They must know, already."
"I'm not running," he replies evenly, showing no aversion to the idea of staying.
She pulls back, aghast, to look at him. Eyes welling up even more at the thought of what could become of him. "Why?" she breathes, outwardly pleading with him to be logical.
"Because," he says. And really, that's all there is. But he doesn't leave her with a thousand questions. Instead, he gives her the answers she'll need. "I won't allow you to come with me. And leaving you is out of the question."
She holds her breath, before releasing it slowly. She doesn't feel betrayed, and won't when looking back on it years to come. Instead, she feels loved. For awhile, they continue to return each other's gazes. Pouring everything and yet not enough through their eyes. Somewhere far away, another song from one of the attending bands picks up, soft notes carrying all the way up the platform.
He smiles a little, though the sadness in his eyes is painfully clear. "Dance with me?" So quiet, so gentle. As always.
She bites her lip to prevent the answering sob, but gives a small nod. She laughs, but it sounds like breaking glass. "Yes."
This is the last time they'll dance.
But they'll never get to finish the song.
The stern voice of Officer Saroyan breaks through their last moment being truly together minutes later. "Seeley Booth, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Jared Booth. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…"
If loving her is heartache for me, then I am the martyr. And love is to blame.