Warning: ...Just...warning. Crackish. You'll know what I mean once you're done reading.

In my defence, I have no idea what came over me. I blame it on the insomnia. 26 hours and counting, baby!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


Loose terminology like 'annoyed' or 'upset' did not cut the butter and could not possibly describe his feelings right now.

(It was more of a 'why did I have to be stuck with a sometimes emotionally- and socially-challenged and other times efficient and wily master whom I would follow to the ends of the continent for but cannot, and will not, ever try to understand?'.)

Sitting on the cold tiled floor of the kitchen, Pakkun groused irritable, eyes half-mast as he stared at his master incredulously. "What is that doing here?"

Ever so calm, Kakashi explained with a sheepish gesture, "Well I couldn't very well ignore it."

The dog snuffed. "It's a cat."


"-A cat that's eating my food."

"Be nice, Pakkun. He was starving and bleeding on top of the welcome mat." Kakashi, sitting on his haunches, watched as the kitten lapped up his nin-dog's food greedily.

"Tch. Pathetic bag of skin and bones." The nin-dog sniffed at the interloper. "I thought you said it was bleeding?" Eyes narrowed. "I don't smell blood. And this thing isn't skinny enough to be starving..."

The kitten, as if understanding Pakkun's brusque tone, bristled his sleek black fur, pink nose wiggling with aversion.

Kakashi dismissed Pakkun's accusations. "...Hmn. Strange. Well, maybe he wasn't bleeding, but he was definitely hungry when I picked him up." He glanced at the kitten with veiled like which almost made Pakkun growl (in disgust, he would argue). "And he still is, actually. Strange, very strange."

The pug bit out. "You know that Bull is-"

"-Allergic to cats. Yes, of course." Kakashi stroked the tiny kitten's head with a single index finger and the kitten shivered with delight, tail curling. "This guy has hypoallergenic fur."

Suspicion set in. "You didn't-" Pakkun would have buried his head in his paws if it was a dignified gesture. "Please tell me you didn't." The pug finally realized that the man could have possibly been lying about finding that-that-usurper as a stray.

"Didn't what?" repeated Kakashi almost innocently.

He grumbled accusingly, "Don't tell me you forked out good money for this thing."

"Not 'thing'," corrected Kakashi patiently. "Akira. His name is Akira, Pakkun."

The pug glanced from the inquisitive nibbling fluff ball to his delighted, grinning master and he could feel horror creep into his bones.

Silence stretched on and after a beat, the copy ninja commented, "He really is a stray."


"And he has a moody sensibility."


"He's also independent so self-maintenance shouldn't be an issue when we're out of Konoha for extended periods of time."


Deadpanned, Kakashi rounded it off with what he obviously considered as the most important point, "And Pakkun, he can purr-"

"-Fine," he rumbled deeply, unable to stomach the fact that his pack leader was aging backwards (he couldn't recall a time when a child Kakashi whined). The pug glared at their, foreseeable, permanent guest. "But you sure can pick 'em...A puppy would have been better."

"And let you teach the pup all of your bad habits?" Kakashi smiled audaciously, rubbing the back of the pug's skull – a gesture of 'thanks for accepting him into the extended family'. "Maybe next time."

Akira, full after consuming most of the nin-dog's food, mewled and catapulted on top of Pakkun, vying for Kakashi's attention. And as the kitten nibbled on the pug's ear, rumbling happily when Kakashi stroked the tiny horror's fur, the dog resigned himself for the potential kitty-sitting opportunities.

(He couldn't wait until he told the rest of the pack though. Maybe one of them would be willing to eat the little bugger when Kakashi was looking the other way.)



A/N: ...Jealousy isn't a good monster to have in your closet, Pakkun.

Also, I don't support kitten consumption, no matter what was implied.