Rotti heard a knock at the door to his office, and barely glanced up from his paperwork. It was probably his retarded children.
"Come in." He called out, shifting through the important bill he was going to present to Congress (or what was left of it).
The door opened and in walked the man who he despised most in the world, his beautiful daughter's vocal tutor, Tawny. He felt bile rise up in his throat. Quickly, he slid the bill into his upper desk drawer.
"What do you want?" He asked rudely.
Tawny sauntered over to the desk and leaned forward, so that Rotti got a nice view of his chest hair.
"Weeelll…" He drawled, lowering his eyelids flirtatiously.
The sexual expression sent shivers down Rotti's spine…and definitely not the good kind either.
He clenched his teeth, trying to stand his ground against the horrifying homosexual force.
"I was just wondering…" Tawny continued, perching himself sideways on the desk and taking a deep drag of the cigarette. He blew out the smoke in Rotti's direction, causing the fat man to break into a coughing fit.
"L-O-L!" Tawny cried with a fake giggle, emphasizing the AIM speak. "Omg, your lung is gunna fall out! Omfg that would be hee-larious!"
Rotti could practically feel his brain rotting away from the mindless babbly. At the internet memes, he began to twitch, letting Tawny know that the plan was working. Now, time to ask.
"Can I give Magdalene voice lessons?"
Unfortunately, Tawny had not fully creeped Rotti out. He still could deny him with a semi-solid rationale. Tawny, however, had one last trick in his arsenal.
"No way in h-" Rotti began.
Tawny moved quickly, sliding over the desk and oozing into Rotti's lap. Rotti froze, as if he had a steaming pile of shit dropped onto him. Tawny resisted the urge to gag.
Oh, I am SO taking a Purell shower later…
"Pretty please?" He asked, letting his voice drop to a husky whisper.
Rotti felt as if he were about to throw up.
Fuck…I'm going to need a Purell shower after this…dirty homo.
"Fine…" He said, finally unable to stand the mental assault any longer. "Just get the hell off of me!"
Victory! He felt like jumping up and doing a little dance. However, before Tawny could even move an inch, the office swung open without warning. Marni peered in, her eyes widening when she saw Tawny on Rotti's lap. There was an awkward pause before Marni spoke.
"Uh…I'll wait outside…Sorry to uh…interrupt."
She backed away, shutting the door behind her with a creek.
Rotti was frozen for a moment, unable to process what had just happened. It finally dawned on him the serious misunderstanding that had just taken place.
He shot up, dumping Tawny onto the floor.
"Marni! Wait!" He called as he rushed out the door and down the hall after her.
Tawny started laughing as the stood back up, plopping himself into the chair Rotti had just vacated.
"Mission complete." He said aloud, full of satisfaction.
His gaze wandered about the room as he took in the glory of his victory. His roaming stopped when he caught sight of the upper right hand desk drawer, the key still in the lock.
Curiosity overwhelmed him, and he looked around quickly before slowly opening it. A small stack of papers sat innocently, shoved in by a hasty Rotti.
Tawny scanned the top paper.
It's probably fliers for a diet program or something…
But those thoughts flew away when he saw two key words among the meaningless lawyer blather.
He looked once more before taking the papers from the desk drawer. Everything seemed surreal as he tucked the documents into the inside of his jacket pocket.
He didn't know the details of the papers, but based on what he knew about Rotti, it couldn't be good.
He shut the desk drawer, locking it with the key once more, and slipping that too into his pocket.
He stood, the empty victory long forgotten as he staggered out into the hallway. He meandered a while, the shadows of the hall growing with each passing minute. He turned a corner, and was suddenly bathed in the light of the sun, slowly traveling from east to west over the house. He did not feel its comforting warmth. All he could feel was fear. Fear for the world and what it was about to become.
Sorry this took so long. I was in three plays at once, two which I acted in and one I am in the process of directing. No time to write T-T. But now I haz time! I wud like to congratulate MS on finishing her newest piece, Luigi's Peculiar Adventure. Go read her work! It's funneh! From here on out, this fanfiction goes on a happiness decline, so be prepared for scarce moments of joy!