AN * Here it is guys! The story of Quil and Bella and what really happened when the left La Push and ran away to Florida together. For those of you, who haven't read my story SECOND CHANCES, please do so it will help you understand this story a lot better!!*
*~*~"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose, there are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from." –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross ~*~*~*
We drove down the interstate in almost complete silence. The whole trip so far as been absolute pandemonium.
Quil and I had always gotten along nicely, but that was before I got pregnant by his best friend and decided to run off. I wasn't so sure how the would affect our friendship now. Therefore to be utterly honest, why the heck he would want to come with me is beyond me.
The sun began to shine brightly in the sky and I reached for my sunglasses. After placing them on I turned my attention back toward the road.
My journey to this point in my life has been pretty damn hard. When Edward had left he took a part of me with him. I wasn't whole again until Jacob rescued me. I loved him with my entire sense of being.
Despite the tears and the heartbreak I don't think I have any regrets. I would however like to have a little run in with whoever was in charge of things. Fate, Destiny, Karma, Imprinting. All words I used to describe my life in the past, well expect for the last, I have grown to hate, now even more then ever before. Each one has the same meaning if you think about it. It means you don't have a choice. Imprinting. Uggg. That word just makes me queasy and I am positively sure it isn't because I am pregnant.
I know Jake never had a choice; he has to give in to it. If it was going to happen, why the hell couldn't it have before I ended up pregnant? What the hell was I supposed to do with a baby? I couldn't even keep my goldfish alive let alone a child. I haven't even held a baby before, I am completely inexperienced. Not to mention scared to death of what was growing inside of me. Completely unsure what I was going to do once it was born. I mean it isn't like they come with an instruction manual.
Hard to believe that the same thing I was so happy about a few days ago now scares the hell out of me. I guess that is because I would have had Jake there to help me and now I don't. Although Quil is here now I don't expect him to stay with me much longer. Maybe until I get settle in Florida and then he will go back to La Push. There is no way he would stick around to take care of someone else's mess. Who would? And it isn't like I want him to anyway. While I am honored he is here, he is also I sickening reminder to everything that has happened. Maybe if I close my eyes I can pretend this is all a dream. That would only work for so long though. Only until I get so huge I can't move around.
"Uggg!" I practically screamed and threw my head against the seat. For a minute I forgot anyone else was here until I heard him clear his throat.
"Uhhh, everything ok over there Bella?" He turned his head slightly before focusing back to the road. He seemed just as embarrassed as I was. I just nodded sheepishly.
While destiny may play a big in where I am headed and with who, there is no way in hell I will allow it to decide what happens form here on out.
Usually when something bad was going to happen there would be a sign first. Like when Edward had left me. However this time I was happy, we were happy. Everything was peachy keen and then kaboom, everything was shit. My world was turned upside down again. Only this time I wasn't sure I would ever be able to flip myself over again. Jake was my everything. Key word being was. He now belongs to someone else. My life is hell. Same shit, different day I suppose.
This wouldn't be the first time I had to start over again. I will make sure it will be the last though. We turned off the main highway and made it down the long stretch that led into the small sleepy town. Palm trees were moving back and forth with the wind and it made me smile. Sure I would miss Forks. I would miss La Push and Charlie. Not to mention everything and everyone else. I was sure I would love living here; it was truly just as beautiful as my mother had described. One thing I loved most about it was there were no memories here. Nothing that could crush me by a simple smell or feel. I was a naïve stupid little girl in Washington. No one knew me here, which meant I could start over. I could be the adult I am meant to.
Looking out the window I could see the water sparkling as the sun hit it. The ocean was even more beautiful than I expected. Just the sight of it had a calming affect. A few days ago my life was normal. I knew who I was and I was sure Jake and I would be together forever. Raising our child together. Not me on my own a thousand miles away. Now I wasn't so sure what my future held. In one stupid day-yet again-my life changed drastically.
I am beginning to believe I am in the second stage of the infamous 5 stages of grief. You know denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Well I am in stage 2, because I am mad as hell. I spent the first part of the trip crying my eyes out and scaring Quil shitless. Not really sure how the 3rd stage will work in my situation but I am sure to fin out. It is kinda funny though I don't think when Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote her book about the stages she didn't factor in pregnancy hormones into the equation. While the stages usually refer to death and dying I believe they factor into my situation perfectly now. Jake is gone, he belongs to someone else. That part of my life is dead now. I didn't want to think about what got me to this moment. I just wanted to live, to start over. And that is exactly what I intended to do from here on out.
What do you think so far? I know most of you want all the hot and steamy details of their relationship and I promise there will be plenty of lemony goodness to come, however I need to make you understand how their friendship leads to that. I promise it will definitely be worth the wait!! I promise to have another chapter up after the next update of SECOND CHANCES!! Please let me know what you think!! REVIEW!!! XoX *Ash