Chapter Five: Teaming up
Author's note: It's been a while since I've written this story, and I've decided to continue again! WOO! I now humbly present: CHAPTER FIVE!
We begin our tale as :
BANG!… BANG!…BANG!… Edward smacked his head against the wall as Bella stared at the ceiling. Jasper was knitting and Jacob was scratching in another tally mark into the wall. The Cullens all sat in Elrond's courtyard as the day withered away. It had been months and Brianna ( THAT WOULD BE ME ) had still not opened up the portal. And now, she was going on vacation in a few days. She had guard beagles guarding where portal would open. And she tried her hardest not to let any of the characters escape.
Suddenly Elrond ran up the stairs. "GRAND NEWS! GRAND NEWS GET UP! GET DRESSED AND MEET ME DOWN STAIRS AT THE COUNCIL BALCONY!""It better not be as GRAND news as when you figured out Sting's real name, 'cause it's early in the morning." hissed Alice covering her head in a pillow.
"No, no, nothing like that, it's an escape plan!" he cried gleefully.
"OH NO!" cried Bella covering her ears.
"Not another one!" said Emmett.
"Yeah, Edward's still traumatized of Elton John from your last plan." said Jasper.
"ELTON JOHN!? ELTON JOHN!? NOOOO!" cried Edward scrambling to get under the bed.
"NO! Bad vampire! There's no Elton John!" said Bella pulling Edward by his shirt to get out from under the bed.
"I guess that's why they call it the blues…" quivered Edward.
"Shh- shh- it's ok," said Rosalie trying to comfort him.
"No- this one will work! 'Cause this time, she's on vacation!" cried Elrond.
They looked at Elrond doubtingly.
Elrond stared at them… "If you do not attend, you can get your butts out of my castle."
The Cullens stared back….
"Sigh,…fine… we'll be ready in 10 minutes." said Alice giving in.
~TEN MINUTES LATER~
"Friends, I have called you to this meeting to discuss a very important matter…" announced Elrond.
"Is it about Sting again?" asked Legolas, "Because personally I find it trivial to hold a second meeting to discu-"
"IT'S NOT ABOUT STING OKAY!? That was a break through! And anyway- I've called you here to determine means of escape!" stated Elrond proudly.
"WHAT!?" cried Gimli, "NOT AGAIN!"
"This better not be involving Elton John," said Strider.
"ELTON JOHN!?" screamed Edward! He clung to a tree and shut his eyes tight singing softly to himself.
"Gondor has no Elton John… Gondor needs not Elton John." said Borimir.
"STOP SAYING ELTON JOHN!" cried Bella, "You're petrifying Edward!"
Frodo giggled, "Is that so?" He snuck up beside Edward. "Elton John!"
"AAH!" shrieked the vampire climbing up the tree.
"Cool!" said Pippin, "Let me try! Elton John!"
"ROCKET MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" screamed Edward shaking violently in the tree so that leaves began falling.
"Elton John!" cried Merry.
"STOP THAT!" cried Bella smacking the hobbit in the head.
"OW!" cried Merry rubbing his curly topped head.
"FOCUS! Brianna is on vacation in Florida, if we are ever to escape now's our chance to!" said Elrond getting the group's attention.
"Fine." said Strider, "What will you have us do?"
"Alright, now it seems that if destroying one ring of power closed the portal, then it should take another to open it…"
"Your point?" said Bella confused as Edward finally came down the tree with Emmett's help.
"My point- is that if we get one of you to go and destroy this ring… the portal will most likely open again, and Brianna can't stop us if she's in Florida!"
The group was silent, "Now, who will go on this perilous journey to face certain doom to save the rest of us?"
Everyone was wide eyed staring.
"Hmm… maybe I should've worded that differently…" mumbled Elrond.
No one volunteered still.
"Well someone must go!" said Elrond.
Everyone took one step back but Frodo.
The hobbit looked back, "huh?" He looked ahead again.
"Congratulations, what a valiant little lad," said Elrond shaking his hand.
"Now Elrond, you and I both know he cannot go alone…" said Gandalf.
Elrond frowned… "He could make it…it wouldn't be a round trip but he could do it."
"No, no. Surely someone must accompany him!" said Gandalf.
"…" no one replied.
"Fine, then I will." said Gandalf as he mumbled and stood beside Frodo.
"…Fine… then you have my bow!" said Legolas standing up.
"…And my axe!" said Gimli joining Legolas.
"… AND MY SPARKL-Y-NESS!" said Edward as he sparkled in the sun.
"…Anyone else?" said Gandalf seeking someone else to take Edward's place.
No one volunteered.
"Sigh… fine…" mumbled Gandalf to himself.
"OH EDWARD YOU'RE SO BRAVE!" squealed Bella.
"Very well, I now present! The fellowship of the ring!"
"…I prefer team Awesome…" mumbled Frodo,
~In a few hours~
"We're going to Mordor, so we can vanquish Sauron!" sang Frodo.
"We're going to Mordor, and Saruman is a moron!" sang Edward.
"We're leaving Rivendale, the fellowship is awesome!" sang Frodo.
"We're leaving Rivendale, and uh…something…something POSSUM!" sang Edward.
"How long do we have to put up with this?" asked Legolas.
"If it doesn't end tonight, we'll leave them for the orcs." assured Gandalf.
"HEY! ( snicker ) HEY LEGOLAS!" laughed Edward.
Legolas sighed, "Just ignored them, Legolas…just ignore them…"
"HEY LEGOLAS!" cried Edward again, "LEGOLAAAAAAS! Teehee."
Legolas didn't respond.
"LEGOLAAAAAAAS! HEY LEGOLAS! Psst! LEGOLAS!"
Legolas shut his eyes and waited for it to end.
"LEEEEEGOOOOOLAAAASSSSSS!" whined Edward. "LEGOLAS! HEY BLONDIE!
"WHAT THE SHIRE DO YOU WANT!?"
"Edward I swear to god-"
"Orange you cold in that skirt?!" laughed Edward. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" squealed Frodo and Edward laughing so hard they fell to the ground.
Legolas scowled, "NOW YOU LISTEN HERE SPARKLES!" cried Legolas grabbing Edward by the collar, "THIS ISN'T A SKIRT IT'S A TUNIC! AND AT LEAST MY AUTHOR BUT SOME DETAIL INTO WHATEVER THE HECK I'M WEARING UNLIKE YOU! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? A BLUE SHIRT! AS FOR ME: I WEAR ELVEN TUNICS MADE OF PEARLS AND SOFT FABRIC MADE BY THE FINEST OF ELVEN FOLK! SO NEXT TIME YOU GO COMPLAINING ABOUT TOLKEIN'S CREATION THINK ABOUT HOW MESSED UP STEPHANIE MEYERS IS! I MEAN SERIOUSLY! MY SKILL : I AM AN ARCHER. YOURS? YOU SPARKLE! THINK ABOUT IT!" and with that Legolas let go of Edward and seethed to himself for a bit.
Edward whimpered to himself for a couple of seconds.
"I think sparkling is great skill." said Frodo.
"That doesn't count. You're gay." said Edward getting to a stand.
After a couple more hours of walking they came to the mouth of the Mines of Moria.
"Ahh, my cousin has a very nice place! He'll take good care of us! He'll surely give us a big buffet and some rest!" assured Gimli staring at the doors.
"There's an inscription above it…" said Gandalf.
"It seems a sort of German," said Frodo, "I cannot read it."
"Yes, there are few who can…" assured Gandalf.
Gimli spoke up, "It's clearly a password!"
"Oh I got this!" said Edward. "PASSWORD!"
The doors began to creek and sure enough slowly creaked open.
"…How did you know the password?" asked Legolas.
"That's what my password is." said Edward.
The group entered and came to the opening staircase. There were bones and corpses everywhere.
"My, my, I love what your cousin's done with the place." admired Edward.
"…This doesn't seem right." said Legolas taking notice of the arrows that pierced some of the bodies.
They entered upon another room with a well in the midst of it… and a tomb below a window sill.
KA-PLONK! Edward dropped a huge rock in it.
"Hahaha! Guys! Look at this!" he giggled as a faint sound of drums began to roll throughout the room.
"EDWARD! Next time you should drop yourself in to rid us of your stupidity!" said Gandalf alerted by the drums. The beating got louder and louder. It rolled through the room with an enormous echo.
"I have a plan!" cried Edward… "But it's pretty risky."
The vampire stared at Legolas.
"…What?" responded the elf.
~ A development of Edward's plan later ~
"I hate you guys so much." said Legolas with an orc mask and fluffy dress.
Meanwhile the rest of the company hid behind a corner underneath a blanket.
The fellowship awaited for the impending danger. Soon enough noises were heard on the other side of the barricaded doors. BAM!… the doors were struck. BAM! They were hit again. CRASH! The doors fell finally admitting dozens of orcs into the room.
Legolas whistled catching the orcs attention. "OH YOOHOOO!" he said flirtatiously.
Frodo giggled uncontrollably as Gandalf attempting to hold his mouth shut from underneath the blanket.
"I hate this story, I hate this story, I hate this story." grumbled Legolas as he stuck out his leg from underneath his dress.
The orcs stood there absolutely dazed as the company escaped behind them.
"NOW LEGOLAS!" cried Gandalf as the fellowship made their way up the stairs finally casting away the blanket. With that Legolas pointed up, "OMG! LOOK! FRODO IS ESCAPING WITH THE RING!" cried Legolas staring at the ceiling. The orcs looked up as Legolas joined the company whom were running up the stairs.
"I hate you Edward! I hate you! Hate you, hate you, hate you!" whimpered Legolas as the company escaped the mines.
~ a trip to mordor later ~
"THROW IT IN!" cried Gimli. "GET RID OF IT!"
"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" chanted the fellowship.
Frodo stared at it… "No… it's mine…. My precious…." he hissed.
"Sigh, again with the whole precious thing?" sighed Legolas.
"I'll handle this." said Edward. He ran up behind Frodo and tickled him.
"HAHAHA! STOP IT! HAHAHAHA! STOO-HAHAHA STOP!" snickered Frodo as he dropped the ring into the lava.
RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE! The whole world shook as the ring of power melted away.
Lava spewed from the mountain and Sauron's tower fell to the ground. Rubble and molten rock fell to the ground.
Suddenly, "HEY GUYS! I'm BAAA- …" Brianna barged in carrying her bags… she stared at the fellowship.
"WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?! I was only gone for a week and already Sauron's been destroyed and you made Mt. Doom explode!" I sighed to myself, "That's it, next time I'm getting a sitter for you guys,"
p.s. Try again next time guys… the portal isn't gonna open that easily!